Why do I want sex so much (or so little)? Understanding your desires

If you're dealing with a desire discrepancy, you probably think you know what you want: more sex, or less sex. But what I've learned is this: there's always more under the surface. And that information is gold for figuring out the way forward together.If you're the higher-desire partner, what are you actually seeking when you want sex? Is it validation? Connection? Reassurance that the relationship is okay? If you're the lower-desire partner, what are you really trying to avoid when you don't want sex? Certain sensations? Emotions? Pressure? Memories?When you dig deeper and get honest answers to these questions, everything shifts. You can communicate what you actually need, you stop putting invisible pressure on your partner, and you find other ways to meet your real needs.This episode walks both partners through the questions you need to ask yourselves—with curiosity, not judgment. Plus: how to stop asking yourself crappy questions that make you feel worse, and start asking empowering ones instead.Your brain will answer whatever you ask it. Let's ask better questions.Check out Emily Nagoski's latest book here: Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual ConnectionsSend Laura Fan MailGet my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheelCopyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.