Why Does Going to LA Feel Forbidden?

It started with two glasses of wine, the backseat of an Uber, and a text to a woman in California who made it clear she’s interested. Me: So…I’ve been thinking about coming to LA…She said yes before I could even being arguing with myself.I call her, Hēdonē, the Ancient Greek personification of pleasure, because what she represents has very little to do with romance and far more to do with something I have spent so much of my life struggling to experience: pleasure for pleasure’s sake. In this episode, I unpack the loneliness, grief, and shame I have been reluctant to admit. I also wrestle with the strange pleasure of being desired by someone I don’t desire in return; my complicated relationship with rest, spontaneity, travel, and play and how the father and mother wound screws with all of this. Support the show