Why does it have to be us doing the work and not the other? Listener question

Somewhere in between since i got to your teaching I got very angry thinking: Why it's always has to be on us to do the work. To explore out inside and what's true and to sit with discomfort.And others can walk around without any responsibility/acccountablity doing crazy things and being dick heads.How do we know when this work is done, that we enquiry something as much as we could....and then the  jobs are left, relationships are ending, unspoken words get voiced...etc.Also at the same time not falling for a trap that's prolonging our circumstances in a way: I'm learning this reality thing so I should get my shit together. You always openly shared with us your divorce story. How did you know it was time to leave?