Why Doesn't My Betraying Partner Hate Himself?

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Seeking Integrity Clinical Director Erin Snow and Tami consider the reasons that a betraying partner may refuse to admit their shame, whether it's worth waiting a few more days to see if a partner is going to start respecting boundaries, and how to respond to a partner's enmeshment, lying, and childhood trauma.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] How can we get the recovery support we need two years after disclosure?  [6:19] What is too soon for couples therapy?  [9:30] Why does my partner always walk in front of me?  [13:43] Should I wait 30 more days for my betrayer to start respecting my boundaries? [19:24] Why are so many sex addicts enmeshed with a parent?  [23:35] My therapist can't believe I want to stay with my partner. Now what?  [31:38] How can I hold space for my partner's wounds and trauma? [38:03] How do I handle my partner's incomplete information about his betrayal? [45:35] How can I understand my partner's childhood trauma and patterns of withdrawal? [49:36] Why can't my partner stop lovebombing me?  [53:50] My partner is a sex and love addict, what does limerance mean?  [57:10] "I don't hate myself" – does my partner feel any shame?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: [email protected] Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "When both partners are stabilized in their own healing journeys, couples therapy is that much more effective."  "Your partner just wants to walk next to you in life."  "Are the actions you're taking allowing me to move closer to you or forcing me to move further away from you?" "Choosing to stay in a relationship or choosing to go is something that only you deal with every day."  "Addiction doesn't thrive in honesty. It has to thrive in lying."