Why Don't We Get Better?

This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills.  On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:55: Why do you want to change? 4:50: Four fundamental strategies 7:00: Three common issues 9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck 12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not 13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself 17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs 24:15: Levity and affection for yourself 27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior 30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change 34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame 39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies 42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing 46:40: Recap New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices