“Why Even Try?” — What My Son Told Me About Gen Z’s Future Shocked Me

Hello world.I’m an unemployed former Big Tech software engineer with 25 years in the technology industry. These days I joke that I’m in “involuntary early retirement.”One unexpected side effect of that situation is time, a lot more time with my kids.Recently, that time turned into a long and surprisingly heavy conversation with my teenage son.It started casually.It ended with a question that kept me awake most of the night.My son and his friends believe the future is going to be bad no matter what they do.So why bother trying?My First Reaction: AnnoyanceIf I’m honest, my first reaction wasn’t particularly noble.I felt irritated.My instinct was to tell him to toughen up, to get out there and compete, to fight for opportunities, to stop whining about hypothetical problems.In my mind I was thinking:You’ve been given so many advantages. Why wouldn’t you take them and run?And then something uncomfortable hit me.I had heard this tone before.It was my parents’.Becoming Your ParentsGrowing up, whenever I struggled with something in life, the reaction I often received was blame.If something went wrong, it meant I had been:* Entitled* Ungrateful* Lazy* A disappointmentEvery major decision I made as an adult was judged as some level of mistake.Even now, my layoff from Big Tech, something that happened amid mass industry layoffs is seen by them as my greatest personal failure.I love my parents.But I’ve always believed that style of parenting is deeply counterproductive.And in that moment I realized I was about to repeat it.So instead of lecturing my son, I asked him a simple question.“Why do you think the future is hopeless?”What he told me was… remarkable.Fear #1: There Won’t Be Enough Good JobsAccording to my son and his friends, the future job market looks bleak.They hear constantly from older siblings, from social media, from the news that:* AI will automate jobs* robots will replace workers* good careers will become scarceThe belief is that by the time they enter the workforce, the number of high-paying opportunities may collapse.Whether this turns out to be true or not, it’s not an irrational fear.We are entering a world where automation is accelerating.And young people are paying attention.Fear #2: The Cost of Living Will Crush ThemMy son also believes that basic necessities will become prohibitively expensive.Food.Rent.Transportation.Utilities.He joked that by the time he’s an adult, buying groceries might feel like a luxury purchase.During the conversation we both remembered the dystopian 1973 film Soylent Green.In that movie’s vision of the 2020s, a bag of groceries costs over $200.We laughed and then realized something uncomfortable.In some cities today, that joke isn’t far from reality.For many young adults earning median incomes, nearly every dollar they make goes toward simply existing.Saving feels impossible.Building wealth feels unrealistic.That’s not a fantasy dystopia.That’s already happening.Fear #3: The Monopoly Board Is Already FullThe next topic my son raised surprised me.Assets.He said joining adulthood today feels like joining a game of Monopoly when the game is already almost over.Every property is owned.Every asset is expensive.Real estate prices have risen so much that many young people believe homeownership may never be possible for them.Again, whether this perception is fully accurate isn’t the point.The point is that an entire generation believes the ladder is being pulled up behind them.And that belief shapes behavior.Fear #4: Institutions Can’t Be TrustedWhen I was a teenager in the 1990s, I had a very different view of institutions.In my mind, the United States government was something like a real-life version of Captain America.If a comet was about to hit Earth, surely America would lead the effort to save humanity.The president was someone to admire.Corporate leaders were role models.Today’s younger generation sees things very differently.Many of them view governments, corporations, and institutional leaders as fundamentally corrupt.The internet has exposed a tremendous amount of misconduct and hypocrisy among people in power.Perhaps those behaviors existed before, they were simply hidden.But today the transparency is relentless.And it has eroded trust in a way that may be permanently destabilizing.Fear #5: Dating Is BrokenThe last topic we talked about was relationships.According to my son, many young men feel completely invisible to young women.There are a few forces interacting here:* Traditional markers of success, income, status, career stability are becoming harder for young men to achieve.* Third places, physical social environments where young people naturally meet are disappearing.* Social media and dating apps create the perception of an endless supply of highly desirable partners.The result?A strange mismatch.Many young men feel unwanted.Many young women feel dissatisfied with their options.And both sides feel confused about why things aren’t working.It’s a complicated social puzzle with no easy fix.The Risk of a “Low-Desire Society”At the end of the conversation my son asked the central question again.“If the odds are stacked against us… why bother trying?”That question terrified me.Because an entire generation deciding not to try leads to something economists call a low-desire society.We can already see examples in parts of East Asia:* declining birth rates* declining ambition* declining economic dynamismYoung people stop competing.They stop dating.They stop having children.They stop dreaming.Eventually, the society begins to quietly collapse.That’s not a future I want for my kids.The Hard TruthThat night I barely slept.I kept turning these ideas over in my head.And the uncomfortable reality is this:There may not be a clean, systemic solution to these problems anytime soon.Fixing housing affordability, economic mobility, institutional trust, and social fragmentation would require massive changes to our entire socioeconomic system.But while we may not be able to fix the system overnight…We can help our children navigate it.What Parents Can Actually DoAfter thinking about it more, I came up with a few practical strategies parents can use to help their kids.1. Provide Emotional SupportTalk to your kids.Listen to their fears without immediately dismissing them.Let them know it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the world.Resilience begins with feeling understood.2. Teach FrugalityConsumer culture trains people to spend constantly.Teach your kids that happiness doesn’t require endless consumption.Learning to live well on modest resources is a powerful advantage.3. Build Self-SufficiencyYoung adults should learn how to manage everyday life:* budgeting* responsibility* planning* managing obligationsThese skills build confidence and independence.4. Provide Strategic Financial SupportThe early years of adulthood are incredibly fragile.Helping with targeted support can make a massive difference:* allowing them to live at home temporarily* helping with education* contributing to a first home down paymentThe goal is not dependency.The goal is launch velocity.5. Model Healthy RelationshipsChildren learn about relationships primarily from watching their parents.Show them what respect, kindness, patience, and empathy look like.Demonstrate that meaningful partnerships are built on character, not just status or superficial traits.Apps like Tinder may filter potential matches, but they cannot teach someone what a healthy relationship actually looks like.Parents can.A Generation That Must Not Give UpMy son’s concerns are real.They reflect the anxieties of many young people today.But an entire generation giving up cannot be an option.Every generation faces its own storms.The job of parents is not to pretend those storms don’t exist.It’s to help our children learn how to sail through them.And maybe, just maybe, build something better on the other side. Get full access to AsianDadEnergy's Newsletter at asiandadenergy.substack.com/subscribe