Why 'Forgive, Don't Forget' is Actually the Ultimate Self-Care

Send Caitlin a Text!Senior year of college. My best friend and roommate. An envelope of cash in the freezer, a lie about her father dying, expensive purses showing up, and then a "break-in" so terrifying that I got in a cop car and drove around looking for the alleged attacker.Weeks later, I found out the truth from a newspaper headline. The entire thing was staged. No confession. No apology. From the newspaper. In front of other people.This episode is about what forgiveness looks like when the person who hurt you won't own it, and you still have to figure out how to move forward without letting rage live in your body forever.Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!—You Need This Episode If...You're stuck waiting for an apology that's never comingYou're exhausted by the anger but don't know how to put it downYou keep rehearsing what you'd say if they ever acknowledged what they didYou're worried about the next steps after forgiveness—What You'll GetThe story: A friendship betrayal so bizarre it still stings, and the years of grief, rumination, and rage that followedWhat forgiveness isn'tWhat forgiveness actually isWhat "forgive but don't forget" really means:How to know when you’ve reached a turning point—Your HostCaitlin is a former teacher, current mom, someone who lost her best friend and most of her social circle to a betrayal she found out about in a newspaper, and someone who learned the real meaning of forgiveness.—Sources & MentionsApology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond IntractabilityOn Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological ServicesApology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMCForgiveness in Close Relationships | Very Well MindForgiveness and Reconciliation | Stanford Encyclopedia—What’s NextPlanning my summer series! Starting after Memorial Day, episodes will release every other week so I can have a little summer and put some things together.Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.Love you, mean it.Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.  Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories. Love you, mean it. Support the showVisit notquitegrownup.com for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.