Why Giving Kids Control Is the Secret to Calming Them Down episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 9, 2026 · 15 MIN

Why Giving Kids Control Is the Secret to Calming Them Down

from Now I Get It, with Dr. Andy

Every parent has been there — the meltdown, the screaming, the feeling that nothing you say or do is going to get through. This week, I sat down again with early childhood expert Angela MacEwen, whose decades of experience caring for children (including those who've experienced significant trauma) have given her a remarkably clear-eyed understanding of what kids actually need in their most challenging moments.Welcome to Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Angela walks us through some of the most practical and surprisingly simple strategies for helping children regulate their emotions — from redirecting a screaming child by giving them a job to do, to why you should never try to reason with a toddler mid-tantrum. We also get into the big stuff: why a motel pool beats Disneyland every time, why finding a roly poly on the way to school might be your child's core memory of the year, and how nurturing children — especially those who've experienced hardship — is just as healing for the caregiver as it is for the child.In this episode, you will learn:(01:02) Why the need for control is at the root of children's tantrums(02:00) How giving kids a simple task can de-escalate even the most intense meltdowns(03:05) Why you should never attempt conflict resolution during a big emotion(03:40) The twins story: how redirecting a furious child to pour water brought his anger back to calm(06:21) Why kids remember the motel pool more than Disneyland (08:19) How to reframe everyday moments as potential core memories(09:07) Why pajamas at school are fine — and how to address it without an argument (11:14) How helping others is a powerful antidote to anxiety for adults and children alikeLet’s connect!linktr.ee/drprandy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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