Why High-Achieving Lawyers Stay in Jobs That Are Hurting Them

Being good at your job and being in the right job are not the same thing. For lawyers who are high achievers, that distinction can be almost impossible to see when every external signal, strong reviews, steady advancement, a reputation for getting things done, is telling you that you must be in the right place.That disconnect often has roots in neurodiversity or trauma history. Both can produce someone who is exceptionally good at pushing through, sublimating their own needs, and performing under conditions that are genuinely harmful to their mental, physical, and emotional health. And because the external picture looks fine, it can be very hard to see.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell walks through why this happens, how ADHD, PTSD, and CPTSD can all factor in, why the belief that achievement equals worth makes it so hard to let go even when something is hurting you, and why therapy is such an important part of unraveling it.0:30 - Why lawyers who are high achievers can be good at something that is not sustainable for them1:28 - The "I can do this so I should do this" trap and why external markers are not the whole picture3:24 - How ADHD brains create urgency to initiate tasks and what that costs your nervous system4:28 - Why doing well as a lawyer can feel like proof you are meant to stay5:16 - How PTSD and CPTSD factor in and why so many lawyers are highly adapted to deal with difficult conditions6:43 - How perfectionism develops as a survival strategy and why it follows lawyers into their careers7:41 - The belief that you are only valuable when you are achieving and why it makes it so hard to leave8:36 - Why therapy matters so much for lawyers who are high achievers thinking about leaving10:01 - What Sarah wants you to know if the job is crushing you but you feel like you have to stayMentioned In Why High-Achieving Lawyers Stay in Jobs That Are Hurting ThemSigns of Malignant Narcissism in the Legal Profession [TFLP 127]Does Being a Lawyer Lead to ADHD? Unpacking the Relationship with Annie Little [TFLP206]First Steps to Leaving the LawThe Former Lawyer Collaborative