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I am here and I am doing a show and I am constantly tricking myself. You know there was a time where he's an analogy that worked. One time I was on this Tony Hulk tour where it was televised on ESPN and they were starting to air it and it was like, ooh, like we're on TV. People were going, hey man, you're Jason Ellis from the Tony Hulk tour.
And I had already been good at skateboarding but this was after that. It was when I was announcing for X Games and ESPN, I had an ESPN deal to be an announcer and got a monthly allowance which was I think it was like 5,000 a month which was really good. And I was already pretty washed up when it came to it. As far as I was concerned, like, had I been better at skateboarding?
Yes, I had been. Was I still pretty good? Yeah, but not as good as I used to be. And when we would do these demos, Tony Hulk was just still so good even though he'd retired from competing.
He just one of those people that didn't matter what the ramp was. He was good straightaway. That's a thing that he's always had where he just he adapts to the ramp faster than everybody else. And he's doing things.
He usually did a McTwist in the first ride. And I would say, dude, like I know that it's the Tony Hulk tour but can you not do a 540 first ride? Because that's my last ride. And I was joking but I was also not like dude you're burying me.
I was a little bit mainly josh, I was 95% joking. But 5% of me was like, give me a second. But I remember I started looking around and saying, what can I do to bring something to this demo that hasn't already been brought? And that's when I discovered rafters and jumping off things that were above the ramp into the ramp.
And I was like, you know what Tony Hulk won't do? He won't jump in off the rafters. I knew he wouldn't do that. And I was like, if you do that, that's another thing that you're bringing to the demo.
And look, part of it was a little bit of an ego like if I do it, no one else is doing it. But the other thing was I really was like, if you just do like a mediocre version of what Tony Hulk's doing, why are you here? So I started jumping off things. And it went really well.
The crowd love a psycho that will jump off ridiculously high things above a ridiculously high vert ramp. It's incredibly dangerous. You know, he's Australian and everybody's like, Australian guy, he's crazy, you know, that was cool. So one demo, because now I'm starting to get used to it.
I now go into a skate park, you know, we're going around the country and the world. I go into a skate park and the first thing I do is I look up and look for things to hang off or jump off. And we were in an indoor skate park and I'm looking around and I'm like, it's a street course, no vert ramp. And I'm like, so people don't know vert ramps are the U-Pipy things.
And that's where Jason lives. And then there's the street course. That's where Jason doesn't know. He doesn't know.
I don't belong. And but I still skate because I don't always skate. I always do my best to I don't duck. I always show up.
And I'm looking around in there and I see this rafter and it hangs over this particular area that has a cordipy where there's transition. And I was like, and it's pretty high. It's in the rafters, you know, I think I'm saying American and Australian rafters, rafters and rafters. I'm, as you can see, very confused.
I look at it and I'm like, if I go up the wall and then walk the rafter until I get into the middle of the street course, I could jump off the rafter into this, into this bank. And the walk is probably like 60 feet, a giant area. So I go up this wall. And then I go along the rafters and people are starting to notice that there is a giant Australian that is walking along the rafters.
And they're like, what's he gonna do? And then this has happened to me a few times in my career where I get to where I think I'm going to jump off. And I look down and I go, ah, shit, that's way too far. I look at it.
And I remember the crowd is like, no way. Everybody gather around and they're MCs like, Oh, just gonna jump off the ramp. Who wants to say it? And I remember looking down, going, if I jump into the pocket, there's no way I can roll away on a skateboard.
It's too far. But if I jumped down into the pocket, I think I can land on my knee pads and slide down and that and live. But at least I can't go. I'm not going back down the rafters.
I'm not walking back the other way. I'm definitely jumping in. But I also remember going, you know, your career has already been and gone. And now here you are washed up.
And this is my mind washed up at a Tony Hawk demo, which is the coolest demo in skateboarding. He's got you here ESPN's got you here. You're on TV potentially. What would it take to make it?
Is it even possible? And I remember I kept doing this thing with my head where I would go. And I was trying to lean my head off axis to see how I would be, how I would see my board landing and rolling away. And that was the other thing.
The transition was very tight. It wasn't big enough for how far I was falling. And I could tell from doing things like this, enough that I was like, how tight the transition is to house the amount of speed that I'm going to get into it. It's it's it doesn't seem possible.
But there is a chance that you could just and take off and make it. I would have given myself, honestly, I would have given myself a 5% chance that I was going to make it. If you whip out, that's the other thing I had whipped out before and I was in and out of consciousness for like six hours. I woke up in hospital with a person wiping down my penis and bowls with a warm towel.
And that wasn't fun. That was emotional. I don't want that to happen. But here you are.
I jumped in without any intention of putting the board down. And when I jumped in, as I fell down, as I got closer to where I was going to land, I was like, Oh, I see, I see where you could land it. And I really didn't have anything else to offer in this demo. The rest of the course was just not suitable for anything that I could do.
Everybody else, you know, it's costed into all these ripping skateboards. They're all holding their own, they're all ripping. And I'm like, this is it. This is all you've got, you know, and I'm just going to go up there and go.
And I remember it got to the point where I had jumped in, I don't know, like four or five times. And people were like, Whoa, you know, you almost did at that time. And then I remember, I'm, I'm faking it. It's a pose.
I know I'm not going to stand on it. I'm jumping in. I was putting the board on my feet. I was dive bombing in.
And then the last second, I would pull it out of the way in these slides. People were like, Whoa, I can't believe he's even thinking about making that. And I just kept faking it. And then there was this one time where I faked it and held onto it a little longer.
And I was like, I see it. I see how I could roll away from this. Still, I would have said at this point from faking it, like they say, fake it till you make it, that there was a, there was a chance that I could make this. And I don't think it's for the right reasons, looking back, you know, I thought the one reason that I felt was a good reason was you're saying goodbye to skateboarding.
And you're saying goodbye to skateboarding in a way where you're being a man, you know, you're being a ballsy, fearless warlord. You know, and that's kind of how I wanted to be perceived. That's how it's not even perceived. It's how I wanted to be, you know, I wanted to be a warlord.
I wanted to be a fearless, you know, because I've always been scared. I'm scared of everything. I just, I see the other thing. People say they're not scared, you know, these days when people say, you know, they tell you to be tough, you know, fearless.
It's like, if you're telling me to be tough and fearless, then you've never done anything difficult, because to say that you've never been scared is a lie, you know, and the people on social media, I see it these days where Pete, these bearded weight lifter guys are getting cold out, you know, they're getting cold out because it's got to the point now where some other tattoo guy that did prison time, it's telling you to lift weights who thinks he's a ballsy guy, and now some other grouber who's copying him. And now the public is like, Whoa, whoa, you are full of it, dude. And they're starting to get cold out. So this is coming to an end, which is great news to me because, you know, there's people out there, you know, there's soldiers out there, you know, you got this weight lifter guy that like went to prison talking about how to be a man.
There's people that have fought in wars with guns, explosives, hand to hand friends, you know, I got friends, black rifle friends, people that have served and fought for our freedoms that have lost, I don't know how many friends, but they are, you know, as a person has lost a lot of friends that he cares about, I can, I've had conversations with one guy in particular where we, it was the only person that I could talk to when Dingo passed away, because my brother, my father, you know, a lot of people came block, you know, like Dingo, all these people that I love the most, the people that I care about the most on this planet have died. And I don't know where to turn to anymore. And I feel alone, you know, I'm like, I lost my best friend, the person I would want to call about the other person dying is dead. The people that understand that the most are the people that fight for our country, you know, this guy that I told to was like, I get it, man, like I've got it, I've been to so many funerals, I don't know what's going on anymore.
And I'm like, that's how I feel when I go to funerals now, I'm mad, I'm mad that I'm here, I'm mad that you're here and you're eating hot dog at the funeral. I'm like, how can you eat? You shithead, my friend is gone. And you're like laughing in the corner.
I want to punch people in the head of Dingo's funeral. It's not their fault, you know, they're coping the way they're coping. But I felt alone. So when you talk about being tough, and you're, you know, you smuggle drugs in your ass, I don't care.
Wait, what? You know, you've been in fights, congratulations, but you haven't been in shootouts, constant shootouts. I haven't. I'm not saying I'm one of those people, but I'm also not saying I'm that tough.
And I'm also not saying that I'm fearless. I'm saying I'm terrified. I'm saying if you don't say you're terrified, you're lying. So I'm saying people with full of shit, social media is full of shit.
So anyway, I'm standing on this ledge on this rafter, rafter, whatever the tomatoes tomatoes. And I'm like, when you're on your deathbed, what would you do right now? You know, my first sponsor that got me sober, Jimmy, who had a heart transplant, who knew that his heart was going to give out because it was nine years and it's 10 years, the heart lasts. He talked like he knew it was the end.
And he talked about what is important and he didn't bullshit. It was only what is important in life. And could he admit that bad things had happened to him and that he'd done bad things and that he would try to make apologies whenever necessary or whenever he would remember because that's what's important in life is to not be the winner to not have all the money to not have all the love one followers bullshit. This to be a good person and to be there for your brother and sister.
He knew that because he was at the end. And when you're a person that is for it was I'm, you know, I haven't again, I haven't done it. But when you've had life knock, when you've had death knock on your door, you have a different outlook. I've had a heart procedure.
I've been on a hospital bed where they're like, you're having a heart attack, Mr. L. So we're going to electrocute your heart. And I'm like, I've seen that in a move.
You that's, I'm going to die. You know, when I came out of that, I just looked at everything different, you know, so when I'm tired and I don't want to do it anymore, I'm like, you're still alive. You're not in hospital. You do it.
And that's this. When you see things in, in a way of a Lord of War, you live life to the fullest. And now that it's over, and I'm 53, and I do not have the physical attributes to jump off a rafter into a ramp in front of a thousand people, that it was going to be on TV for potentially a hundred thousand people, maybe more, I don't know, to push the boundaries. I'm glad I had that thought where I was like, I don't, I'm scared.
I'm scared of waking up in an ambulance with a broken leg or worse. And if you haven't been in this situation and you want to talk shit, you don't mean it. You don't mean anything. You don't, it's just a park.
You're a chihuahua behind a fence. It doesn't mean anything. You think you're tougher. See me on the straight man, go for it.
See what happens. You're just not about it. I don't want to be about it, but I have been pushed. And I know that if I have to be, I'm about it.
It's not a brag. It's an accomplishment. It's in my pocket. You can't take it from me.
But anyway, I faked it and I faked it and I faked it. And then I jumped in with the craziest intentions to make this thing. And when I landed it, my tail from the weight of my body and the transition, so when the transition caught my skateboard and it whipped me down the ramp, the weight of me coming down on the board, the tail snapped off. And my tail skidded on the ground as I rolled across the flat.
I made it as much as I could, as the skateboard allowed me. I think the end of the tail just came off. But I made it. I made a thing that for sure, when I first looked at the top, when I got there, I was like, yeah, that'd be sick.
And then when I got up there and I was like, yeah, no, that can't be done. Not by me anyway. And then we're talking an hour of like fake it, fake it, crowds like, dude, you almost got it. By the way, when people tell you you've almost got it, they don't know.
They don't care. When you don't got it, they'll be like, oh, man, I thought you had it. And then you got a hospital and they go to the party and go, man, I didn't think you had that. You know how I know that?
Because it's happened. But I made it. I made a thing that is in my mind impossible, because I faked it until I made it. And then when it came to crunch time, I put everything I had, I conquered my fear.
I faced my fear. Facing your fear is key. Facing your fear doesn't mean being tough. Being tough.
Sometimes I feel like being tough and facing your fear, it does. That's not the same thing. You know, puffing up and acting tough is not facing your fear. You know, admitting you're scared is facing your fear.
It's that's being tough. Admitting when you're scared, admitting when you're wrong, you know, admitting your mistakes is a terrifying thing to do. And I can tell you from this other thing, like acting tough, you don't think I've acted tough. You don't think that I'm a poser?
Like, look at my tattoos. Like I go to the gym, I learn how to find why, you know, because in case you test me, I want to be able to back it up. I am scared. So I've taught myself to defend myself so that you don't hurt me, because I've been in fights when I was a kid where I lost.
I lost most of my fights when I was a kid. I didn't really pick fights. I just got beat up for being annoying, because I was drunk all the time. You know, so my dad getting fights and hurt people in a way where I was like, I don't want to fight.
It was the opposite. I didn't want to fight at all after watching my dad beat people up. I was like, Oh, I think he killed a guy, you know, like, this is where people were so hurt. But this thing was pretending to be tough.
You fake it till you make it. You pretend to be tough, long enough, you can become tough. That's not, you know, you get, you get caught up in it. When you start acting tough and you have this outer exterior to like protect yourself, because that's face.
Sorry, I get this thing that's with me. When you act tough and you become tough and you believe you're tough, you walk around like you're tough, and then there's all these things that come with being tough. So you have to hold up, you have to put up a wall, you know, and if it's always this tough thing, you lose yourself in it, you know, and like, being open to love, being open to being loved is facing fear because facing rejection is very painful. You know, I've had heartbreak that has easily, you know, like I have had a compound fracture, I broke my wrist, I sent my elbow out of the back of my arm and I've broke my arm here as well.
I broke it, shattered my stuff. I passed it out from the compound fracture because I was like 16. It was like horrific surgery, put the cast on like six months before I could straighten my arm properly. It was a nightmare, scared the shit out of me.
I've been heartbroken and it has taken years to get back to anything. And I think it's a I think a lot of men are susceptible to this. I think a lot of men treat heartbreak handle heartbreak worse than women. That's that's my opinion.
We don't do well with it. So we're not that tough, you know, because that is a part of toughness. And when you make yourself this hard guy, same thing for women, you make yourself hard, you know, because it's more society, American society being tough, chicks dig it, your friends dig it. It's cool to be tough, but you're tough to the point where the real you is trapped in here.
You're not exposing it, because if you expose it, it's you could be hurt again, you know, and we don't want to be hurt. No, it's gonna hurt me anymore. So I'm gonna pop up and I'm gonna shield my heart. So it doesn't get broken anymore.
Do this, girls know. I don't know how many girls watch this. I would assume not too many. It's a bummer, but we do.
But again, you know, it's like, what do you know? And I'm like, I know, you know, I know what it's like to be dark, man. I know what it's like to hate myself. I know what it's like to be light, man.
I know what it's like to love myself. I didn't read it. I can't read. I lived it.
And I lived it over and over again. I've had highs and lows, not one high and one low. I've been up and downs a lot. That's a little game, but you know what I mean?
I've had highs and lows. I've learned and then I've had a high that made me forget about the low and forget about being grateful and forget about like the people that helped me get there and just shut off into the stratosphere with like a jerk off and then just crashed again and gone, oh no. And then guess what? Nobody gives a shit about you anymore.
And then you realize what it's like to just be a normal person again. And you hate it because you believed your own bullshit. You actually thought you were special. Yeah, man.
Jason Alsier talking about Dix hymns helps you with your bone. And when your bones in the zone, mama comes home. Oh my God. My cat is like, that was the dumbest thing you've ever said.
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That's up to 95% less than the brand names at himns.com slash Alice hymns.com slash Alice. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Feature product include compounded drug products, nice, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality prescription required, see website for details, restrictions and important safety information. When you try to be tough all the time, you might end up making a wall and out of shell that no longer shows who you really are.
So you can never really be loved. And some of you might be like, who really loved like what a homo. If you're this tough guy that doesn't need to be really loved, you're lying. We all need to be loved.
It feels good to be loved. But you can't be loved wholeheartedly if you're not exposing who you really are. So if you're puffing up, if you're acting like something that you're not to impress your friends that are usually not your friends, if they think that that's a thing that is cool, then the person that loves you doesn't know who you really are. It's a thing we do.
It's like when you go on a first date, you pretend you're this thing and then slowly but surely you're far in the living room, you know, you ever go on a date with a girl where you go, frrr. Wait, I'll have another drink. You don't, you know, because you think if you're far in front of your girlfriend the first night you go out, you probably won't go out with you again. Well, guess what?
We fight. Sometimes my stomach hurts. I got a fart and sometimes you cry, sometimes you're scared, sometimes you're dumb, you say dumb shit. And if you love one loves you, no matter what it is, because that's love, man.
That's love, you know? If my girlfriend farts, I'm not breaking up with her. She hasn't done it, but I'm sure she will. You know, guys that are scared of things, they admit they're scared of things.
You know, if you're just this fearless warlord that has never feared anything, I never met that guy. As I've said, my tights are scared before every fight. So I don't know how many people that are tougher than him. So if you say you've never been scared, I'm, I believe you're a liar.
But like I said, this thing is not a thing that I read. It's a thing that I experienced. I've been tough. I pretend to be something that I'm not.
I have attracted things to into my life that were what I was putting out there. I was pretending to be evil, mean and tough. And the people that were attracted to that were also doing the same. And it was a negative life.
I was attacking people for their insecurities because I was hiding my own insecurities. Something doesn't add up. You don't feel right. You don't feel whole.
And you know, it goes both ways. Some people can be full of light. They're also full of shit. They're so happy.
It's bullshit. You know, a lot of, you know, ayahuasca, f***ing, swing your life. You're full of shit, dude. You ain't happy.
And you have to like, you're living the best life ever. And then like two years later, you're crying on a podcast because people are picking on you because you're coming on everybody. Hopefully you strip yourself down and restart and be open. Be honest.
I'm scared to just sleep with one person because I don't feel like enough people love me. I feel like I've had sex with lots of people. That's what makes me feel whole. Why?
Why is one person not enough for you? Really analyze that. Maybe don't do ayahuasca or just sit there dead sober and analyze it with your own f***ing brain. But you put enough walls up before and love with somebody and you realize that you're not there in love with something you're not.
And then for the rest of your life, you've got to pretend that you're that thing to keep them happy. Or they'll leave you and find something that is more suitable to what they were looking for. That, that darkness that they are attracted to. Maybe that person is also living in facade.
Maybe that person's really that dark and then they finally made their dark match in heaven. Congratulations. When you realize that you're not who you really think you are or you're living this life where you don't need anybody else and you're all alone, you know, again, I'm not, I didn't read it. I know what it's like to be all alone.
It's not good. I like being alone sometimes, but I don't want to be alone. You know, I don't think any of us really do. And I think anybody that says that they love to be alone and only want to be alone for the rest of their lives and everything they use is just like to get something from and like, here you blow me now, get the fuck out of here.
You know, I don't think you're happy, you know, I'm not saying I know you're not happy. I'm just saying I don't believe that you're happy. I believe you're either lying or you're not happy. One of the two.
I'm also not saying be, you know, a soft, loving hippie, you know, like I said, these guys are full of shit too. You know, one thing is I think tough is not quitting. That's what I think tough is. I think most of us get to a point with life things, situations, people where we've had enough and then we quit.
Maybe you don't say the word quit because it's triggering, but you have, I have, I've quit things. I quit things that I didn't love, but maybe I didn't see the love in it. Maybe it was worth working through. I think working through stuff is scary.
Admitting you're scared can sometimes help you keep going and working through things. But I think a lot of people get sick of stuff and they just quit, get sick of people and just quit, quit on people. Also, at the same time, you know, when it comes to people, it ain't a piece of wood, you know, if somebody's got no intention of working with you, there's only so much you can put up with where you got to move on with your life. You can't die trying to fix somebody who doesn't want to be fixed.
You can't die trying to get somebody sober who doesn't want to get sober. You know, a lot of people that want to get sober can't get sober. So if you're trying to get someone sober who doesn't want to get sober, that that's going to be tough. You know, if you're an addict of sorts, I think we all are really, you know, I think there's obviously, you know, there's like these scales of it, you know, like if you're a heroin addict, okay, you're an addict, you're an alcoholic where you just drink every day and you get the shakes if you don't drink, that's pretty easy to read, you know, then you've got your like casual, you know, you're, you know, I, you know, I show like, I only drink on the weekends but I black out or I only drink a couple beers every night.
Like, you know, I only do creative to get off the pain pills. I know this is for some reason that one is the most offensive thing that I've said out of everything. Like an alcoholic, a guy that drinks beers every night is going to fuck you. I was like, oh, you're just gonna be like, man, that's my choice.
For some weird reason, the creative one is it's got everybody who take my, come up and take your creative. I don't know, have it, dude. Have it all. I don't care.
It's like saying I don't want to have sex on camera anymore and a bunch of only fans people coming after me. Oh, no, fuck everybody on camera tonight. What the hell else you're not taking my only fan? I'm not trying to take your only fans, you're fucking insane lunatic.
Have it. Come on, everyone. I don't care. Addicted people, special people, which again means because I think we're all addicts.
We're all addicted to the phone. Most of us are addicted to coffee or cigarettes or nicotine or porn or cheese, you know, cheese is pretty shitty. Like cheese is like this weird, spewy, gluttonous thing. It's like everything we got used to.
Like I remember, I don't remember, there was no cheese. At one point, it was no cheese. Nobody had cheese. Cheese is man-made.
He can't just suck on a cow's tit and cheese comes out. You got to do stuff. Do we really need cheese? Do we really need bread?
I don't like the weird social media things where it shows you this is what my stomach look like on bread in America and this is what bread look like in Europe and my stomach's so flat. I'm like, I'm mad because I'm here and I like bread. I want to go to Paris and have bread and be skinny. Bullshit.
Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Somebody's lying and I reckon it's everyone.
I reckon just don't have bread. Sometimes bread school. Donuts are ready, right? Well, I'm not giving that up.
But sometimes too many donuts, then no donuts. You get a little bit, you know? But if you're a guy that has a donut and then you have to have six donuts every night and you cannot live without six donuts every night, you probably can't have any donuts. It's like if you have a little bit of cradum on a Saturday because you're back or you want to get loose, but you don't want to drink.
But if you do cradum every night, you do six shots every day and you start mumbling and drooling on your shit and throwing up every night and then you get too many cradums. Guess what? And that's what I was trying to say about the crate, so I thought you'd drink a beer and you don't have to work on a Saturday. Good for you.
If you drink them every night, if you can't stop drinking and if you get wasted and you fucking tell your wife, she's a dumb bitch, you should probably not drink. But I think these are realizing you're addicted to something and fighting back and taking your life back from it and making your life better without it is such a huge victory. And I don't think people realize the feeling of a accomplishment when you defeat these things that we're all addicted to. You know, it just depends on how much you're losing from it.
You know, if you're happy being five pounds overweight, then eat Taco Bell every Friday night. I don't care. If you care, that's the other thing. You look in the mirror.
Do you care? Do you care? Are you in denial? You know the answer.
You do know the answer. Addicts are powerful people. We're all addicted to something. So we're all powerful people.
So you can get up and you can make another choice with your life and become a powerful person. Everything that hurts you. Find a way to let it go and move on. Everything that scares you, face it.
Go through it. I guess you just got to know when something's hurting you or when something's scaring you. And if you're paying attention to that, then you'll be all right. Because I'm telling you, man, we're going to die.
You know, who knows? Maybe the spirit world is badass, but it's just like, I don't know. What if it's not? What if it's alone?
Rebel Bean, you had your chance. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a dirty boy who's found some dirt somewhere in his house that he rolls in and then he gets in my bed and then he rolls in my bed and then there's a dirt patch in my bed.
And then when I get in my bed, I'm like, I don't want to get in my bed. I'm sleeping in cat turds. Maybe it's just dust from the incense machine or something. It's not an incense machine.
You know what I mean? What? There's like an incense thing I have burner. And I think he rubs himself on that.
So if I'm sleeping in incense, that's cool. But if it's shit crystals from the kitty litter, I'd rather it wasn't. You know? Anyway, I just think I just think tough guys aren't that tough.
Unless you're a soldier, then you are that tough. You know? If you're a veteran, thank you for your service. And no, I don't know what it's like to be you.
If you're just some jack off or the tap out t-shirt or something, shut the fuck up. I swear that you fools. And if you're in recovery, you can hit me up anytime, man. I'll help you as best I can.
A lot of people message me about the creative stuff all the time. Funny how people that don't like what I say about creative, just say it on the main page where everybody gets to see them. But the people that DM me that thank me for what I'm talking about, the sincere, the sincerity, people being sincere. They are in my DMs.
It's almost like the people that are on the main page, they don't want to sit in my DMs because they don't want to have a face to face with somebody. They want it to be on speakerphone. You know? Because you fucking scared.
Because you know I'm right. That's why it's triggering to you. You're triggered by this stuff. Also, while I'm here, comedians that all hang out with each other that talk about how women have enough rights and, you know, you got to, you know, fucking Elon Musk has a lot of good points and, you know, and some of them have been accused of sleeping with younger people and they all kind of hang out with each other.
I think I would like to see their dicks. Because here's my theory. And I don't know if you're thinking Jason, are you going gay again? No.
No, I don't want to touch it. I just, I'm pretty sure that it's little and you're secretly mad about it and you secretly hate women because you don't really want to show them that because ladies, you do giggle. You do kind of, you do kind of put guys down for not packing and it's not fair, you know? Rebel Bean, you're, I got fucking five minutes man.
Just fucking deal with it. Don't let him in or out. You stay here and you suck it. Wait, you know what I mean?
Sucker butt jerk off. Just knows that if he'd be out as people will let him in and out and then he'll be able to let me in and then let me out. He's like, I control everything. I'm in charge of this podcast.
And right now he is. But yeah, guess what I'm trying to say is, you know, I don't know, man. I don't want to start shit. But no one's really listening to this anyway.
But I don't know. Maybe, maybe Jeff dies a good guy. I don't know. We're not as Karen here because like a Karen from men, it's like a comb over at the front push one side over this.
I don't think he's going bald. This makes it look like he's going bald. Like, remember Karen in the 80s? What was the one the Karen, the one the guy that had the Asian husband that had all the kids?
What was the one they something? Some bitch passed some bunch of kids at a show. They broke up. It's like a side part where it's like this goes along here and then there's a little extra bit here.
He has that. And he just always talks shit on chicks and like this weird white guy here trans. It's like, you're just suspect, you know? And then you're like people wear, you know, like I think I started video and making fun of Jake Paul, like a dress like, I'm like, you have a shirt that hangs like a foot over your dick.
You're hiding your little penis and then a jacket that's short like fuck your style. You don't fuck you. Brown shoes? Where's brown shoes dude?
What is that? Brown dinner at time? Like, I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I'm just suspect suspicious. If I was a private investigator on you being an asshole or having a small dick, my ally'd be on you. But I could be completely wrong.
I might be sweetheart with a huge shlong. I don't know why I said shlong. I don't know why I said any of that. I'm sure we could eat for it.
But also a good thing about Jason L show these days is I could probably just start doing Elon Solutes and nobody would fucking dare. Maybe that could be my new thing. I just call out everybody until finally, see Jason L's talking about like, yeah, right, Jim, but you got a little dick. You seem to be nice to the ladies.
See what I mean? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe.
Maybe I know. Maybe I'm right, Jim, but you maybe I'm right. So yeah, this is my life, you know, been doing testosterone for like 10 years now. I think my balls are getting smaller.
That's hot, right? Ladies, 53 balls getting smaller. My hemorrhoids are getting bigger. I don't know if they're getting bigger, but it just sounds funny.
I like to make fun of yourself. Just to even things up, you know? They're not as cool as they think. I'm gonna go skating tonight with Bam, Marjara.
Pretty cool, right? Yeah. Bucky Lassick. Gotta tell you, the last time I went skating to Bam, Marjara and Bucky Lassick was on the Tony Hawk's gigantic skate park tour.
That's 20 years ago. So this is gonna be a funny session. And I have a key, which is also a thing that's like, you think you're having a bad day, Jason Cakes? I have a key to Tony Hawk's ramp.
That's power. Then you get the woman, then you get the money, then you get the fame. Wait, I said it backwards. I don't really care.
I don't really care about money. I don't really care about women. I don't really care about fame. It feels good.
Okay, I'm lying. I like money. I like one woman. So, which is also, you're trying to bone everybody.
And then you're not trying to bone everybody. Why is that a relief? I try to impress women. I mean, try to impress women.
Even like, if you're trying to impress women, just in case they might want to sleep with you at a later date, it's like you just put up with so much shit, you know? It's like people talk, man, man, man, man, I'm just like, fuck off. I don't say fuck off. I just walk off.
Like, oh, maybe like, well, really, I don't really think because you never know they might change your mind. Or, you know, I could like, you know, be attacked by a monkey and have half a face and then like, you know, who's gonna sleep with me? Not as many. So I definitely hope that I was nice to that one ugly chick like five years ago, you know, you got to think ahead.
So you never know. People still have monkeys as pets, that's still a thing. Why you do that? Why would you do that?
Also, did you know that the coffee where the monkey shits it out? You know that that's not good coffee? You idiot? Anybody who bought that coffee, you deserve that coffee.
You idiot. So there you go. That's recap. If you're scared, good.
Just admit it. Walk in, face it. Face your fears. Don't be too tough.
Because at the end of the day, we're all soft. It's like the cabry eggs. That's okay. I've never known.
I've ran out of making any sense. I'm not sure if I made any sense, but it's my show. Do whatever the fuck I want. See you next week.
Don't die.