Why Leaving the “Good Guy” Feels So Hard

Episode 77: This episode is the culmination of a three-part exploration into one of the most emotionally tangled questions I see women face: Should I stay, or is it okay to leave... even if he’s a good man?If you haven’t read the two preceding articles on Substack, I urge you to begin there. Those pieces lay the emotional and historical groundwork for what we’re unraveling here.In today’s conversation, I shift into a different energy—one of empathy, nuance, and quiet truth-telling. This is the softer side of the good guy dilemma. Less fire, more warmth. Because I know what it’s like to be caught in that mental and emotional spin. I lived it. And I know how isolating and confusing it can be when the relationship looks enviable from the outside, but on the inside, something in you feels like it’s slowly dying.Together, we dive into the subtle, and not-so-subtle, ways that codependency, patriarchal programming, and inherited narratives shape how we think about partnership, sacrifice, and what we’re allowed to want. I walk you through four major thought patterns that keep women stuck in indecision, and I gently challenge the beliefs that whisper, “You’re selfish,” or “You’re asking for too much.”But most of all, this episode is an offering of grounding. Of helping you see your thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—and giving you tools to start rewriting your story from a place of self-love and personal truth.We talk about grief. We talk about discomfort. We talk about how to hold the reality that he might be a “good guy” and not the right fit for the life you feel called toward. And I share what ultimately helped me untangle my own knot of guilt, fear, and hope years ago.This is not about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you get clear enough to choose—truly choose—for yourself.So if you’re in the middle of this dilemma, come sit with me. Let’s sift through the noise together.Show Notes:Subscribe to Stay or Go on SubstackWhy I Wish Every Woman Getting a Divorce was Divorcing “The Good Guy”The Paradox (and Privilege) of Divorcing “The Good Guy”Untamed - Glennon Doyle“Descansos” Chapter 12 - Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage & Forgiveness - Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype - Clarissa Pinkola Estés Inside OutDownload the Substack AppText 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫YouTube ChannelThe Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching IntensiveStay or Go CommunityInstagramFacebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe