Why Marriage Isn't Working | Herbert & Tiffany Cooper

Dysfunctional: Why Marriage Is Not Working 1 Peter 5:8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (NLT) Mark 10:7–9 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV) 1. Unresolved Conflict separates marriages and healthy Communication joins marriages Ephesians 4:26–27  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV) Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (NIV) Healthy Communication Joins Your Marriage Together 1. Be honest Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV) Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (NIV) 2. Be honoring 2A. Be loving Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV) 2B. Bite your tongue Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV) 2C. Be a builder Ephesians 4:29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV) 2D. Be kind Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (NIV) 2E. Be unifier and peacemaker Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (NIV) 2. Selfishness separates marriages and Serving joins marriages 1 Corinthians 10:24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (NIV) Marriages aren’t working when selfishness creates a consumer relationship Marriages aren’t working when selfishness creates a “You’re the problem” mentality.  Matthew 7:3-5 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NIV) 1. Shift from a fleshly perspective to a biblical perspective Philippians 2:3–4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (NIV) 1 Corinthians 10:24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (NIV) 2. Shift from trying to change your spouse to changing yourself 3. Shift from you need to understand me to I need to understand you 4. Shift from what makes me happy to what makes you happy 5. Shift from how you should serve me to how can I serve you 3. Indifference separates marriages and Investment joins marriages Begin investing in your marriage even when you feel indifferent Revelation 2:4–5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. (NIV) Mark 10:7–9 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)