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EPISODE · Jan 27, 2026 · 7 MIN

why modern dating sucks - #003

from Finding Solace · host Solace

Modern dating can feel hopeless, but a lot of that comes from chasing it the wrong way and living your life as a performance instead of something that actually feels good to you. In this episode, I talk about how I spent years grinding dating apps, doing all the “right” things, and still felt empty and alone, and how everything shifted when I stopped centering my life around trying to be desirable.I get into how focusing on real interests, hobbies, travel, and self-improvement for their own sake slowly turned me into a more interesting, fulfilled person—and how that naturally made genuine connection more likely. I also break down why apps push everyone to fake it, why authenticity is such a rare advantage now, and why building a life you actually enjoy is a better long-term “strategy” than obsessing over matches and signals.-----Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠My bookshop: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠Join The Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd⁠

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published Jan 27, 2026

What this episode covers

Modern dating can feel hopeless, but a lot of that comes from chasing it the wrong way and living your life as a performance instead of something that actually feels good to you. In this episode, I talk about how I spent years grinding dating apps, doing all the “right” things, and still felt empty and alone, and how everything shifted when I stopped centering my life around trying to be desirable.I get into how focusing on real interests, hobbies, travel, and self-improvement for their own sake slowly turned me into a more interesting, fulfilled person—and how that naturally made genuine connection more likely. I also break down why apps push everyone to fake it, why authenticity is such a rare advantage now, and why building a life you actually enjoy is a better long-term “strategy” than obsessing over matches and signals.-----Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠My bookshop: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠Join The Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd⁠

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Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of Finding Solace?

This episode is 7 minutes long.

When was this Finding Solace episode published?

This episode was published on January 27, 2026.

What is this episode about?

Modern dating can feel hopeless, but a lot of that comes from chasing it the wrong way and living your life as a performance instead of something that actually feels good to you. In this episode, I talk about how I spent years grinding dating apps,...

Can I download this Finding Solace episode?

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