Why One Person Can’t Be Your Everything

LOVERS… good glorious MondayThere’s something I’ve been sitting with lately, so I made a video about it because it feels important.We are asking so much of our relationships today.What we once received from an entire village, we are now trying to get from just one person. The industrial evolution may have changed how we ( dont ) look after ourselves anymore in community, yet the human system has not changed. We just require it to survive in our current conditions.Our lover must be our best friend, our emotional confidant, our erotic match, our co-parent, our co-regulator, our business partner... ..and also give us space and hold us through all our healing.That’s a lot to hold for just one person.In monogamy especially, the container can get tight, heavy and exhausting. Not because we are doing it wrong, but because we’re expecting one person to be the village.In the video I share how Men don’t get enough time alone inside of relationships.And women do not get enough time with other women.There’s a disconnection happening. Not because we’re broken, but because something is missing.What’s missing is the missing.The missing of one another and the missing of other. The community, the rituals, the shared support and the presence that once held the fabric of our love lives and relationships together.This is not an anti monogamy article or about blame. It is about awareness.Because when we name what’s missing, we can stop placing impossible demands on our lovers. To ease of the pressure from ourselves and them and create a more inclusive way of existing. We can begin to call in the support, the space, and the connection we truly need that can be sourced from other avenues rather than “the one”.I would love to hear what it brings up in you when you listen to the video above.This is the kind of conversation I want am wanting more of in my world. Raw, honest, and grounded in love and curiosity.Always with Pleasure.M💋 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissalouise.substack.com/subscribe