EPISODE · Sep 8, 2025 · 1H 9M
Why People-Pleasing Makes You Lose Yourself (And How to Get Back)
from Negotiate Anything · host Kwame Christian Esq., M.A.
Why do we keep ending up in toxic relationships — even when we know better? Buy the book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back In this powerful conversation, Kwame Christian sits down with psychologist and trauma therapist Dr. Ingrid Clayton to explore the hidden reason behind this pattern: the fawning trauma response. Ingrid shares how complex trauma rewires the nervous system, why simply “setting boundaries” often doesn’t work, and how shame keeps us stuck in cycles of people-pleasing. Together, they unpack the science of safety, what it really takes to break free, and why healing is less about quick tips and more about reconnecting with yourself. If you’ve ever wondered why saying “no” feels impossible — or why you’re drawn to the very relationships that hurt you — this episode will change how you see yourself and your story. Connect with Ingrid BOOK: FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PvWTgJMirURfgHWj3h28g WEBSITE: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ Discount code "KWAME" gives 30% discount over 3 months TL;DR what is folk? folk is a CRM, and extension, that helps businesses build real relationships and close deals. Why is folk better? folk is simple, integrated, and proactive to use. folk’s value proposition? folk CRM does the busy work for you, so you can focus on growing your service business. folk’s tagline folk, like the sales assistant your team never had What product details will most excite your audience? • Our seamless integrations with social channels • Our 1-click Enrichment that finds contact details for y ou • Know the best leads to reach out to with AI Follow-up s Useful links & resources • folk's website • folk's Linkedin • Simo, our CEO’s, LinkedIn • folk's Youtube Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn negotiateanything.com Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
What this episode covers
Why do we keep ending up in toxic relationships — even when we know better? Buy the book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back In this powerful conversation, Kwame Christian sits down with psychologist and trauma therapist Dr. Ingrid Clayton to explore the hidden reason behind this pattern: the fawning trauma response. Ingrid shares how complex trauma rewires the nervous system, why simply “setting boundaries” often doesn’t work, and how shame keeps us stuck in cycles of people-pleasing. Together, they unpack the science of safety, what it really takes to break free, and why healing is less about quick tips and more about reconnecting with yourself. If you’ve ever wondered why saying “no” feels impossible — or why you’re drawn to the very relationships that hurt you — this episode will change how you see yourself and your story. Connect with Ingrid BOOK: FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PvWTgJMirURfgHWj3h28g WEBSITE: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ Discount code "KWAME" gives 30% discount over 3 months TL;DR what is folk? folk is a CRM, and extension, that helps businesses build real relationships and close deals. Why is folk better? folk is simple, integrated, and proactive to use. folk’s value proposition? folk CRM does the busy work for you, so you can focus on growing your service business. folk’s tagline folk, like the sales assistant your team never had What product details will most excite your audience? • Our seamless integrations with social channels • Our 1-click Enrichment that finds contact details for y ou • Know the best leads to reach out to with AI Follow-up s Useful links & resources • folk's website • folk's Linkedin • Simo, our CEO’s, LinkedIn • folk's Youtube Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn negotiateanything.com Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
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Why People-Pleasing Makes You Lose Yourself (And How to Get Back)
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