Why Recovering Addicts Make Great Bishops | An Interview with Mike Houghtaling

Mike Houghtaling was raised in Bellevue, Washington, and Raleigh, North Carolina, and served in the Argentina Cordoba mission. Since entering recovery, he has served as a bishop's counselor, a high councilor, and is currently serving as the bishop of the Fayetteville Georgia YSA Ward. He worked for the Federal Aviation Administration for 37 years, most of those as an air traffic controller, retiring in 2019. Mike and his wife Andrea have five children and seven grandchildren. Highlights 5:10 About Mike's ward and his personal family history 10:30 Discovered pornography at age 10 and immediately fell into addiction and shame 12:30 Sought help from his bishop but the guidance didn't help 15:15 Considered his mission a failure and returned home believing himself the worst of people 17:30 The misunderstanding that marriage and sex would eliminate the problem 19:10 "Porn has no more to do with sex than alcohol has to do with thirst" 20:45 Misunderstanding the difference between sobriety and the healing of recovery, never addressing the shame and wounding 23:00 Hitting rock bottom and finally realizing that he could not hide anymore 26:30 The hopeless concept that everyone protected by the Atonement was under a big umbrella, but he was not under that umbrella 28:30 A tiny thread of hope touched his heart and he began to take the 12 steps seriously and began seeking recovery and healing, not simply sobriety 31:10 Recognition that his wife needed attention for her wounds 33:00 You have to pick up every tool along the way because they can all be helpful 34:00 One helpful tool: Face it, replace it, connect; the power of connection 35:50 Called as a bishop's counselor 36:30 Explanation of PASG: Pornography Addiction Support Group and the spouse support group 41:15 Telling his story to his YSA ward to show that he is relatable and unafraid of their struggles 44:45 Advice for bishops: invite those struggling with addiction to go to an ARP meeting, go with them, study and seek to understand 47:00 "You are not beyond His help, you are not beyond His reach." 49:00 Advice for stake presidents: take a chance on different candidates for positions of leadership in the Church 50:50 Metaphor of a quilt with one inky square in the shadows 53:00 Still working steps 10, 11, and 12, the maintenance steps 54:30 Advice for those in the circle of a recovering addict: love them, show grace for and connect with them, and continue to point them towards the Savior 56:30 Supporting the addict's family members: connect, encourage, listen, point them toward therapy 58:45 Learning to be a true follower and finding healing in understanding the Savior is what has helped him to be a better leader Links Warrior Heart retreat Heart of a Woman retreat Is Elders Quorum Working? Wild at Heart in Church Leadership | An Interview with Doug Nielsen Heart of a Woman in Relief Society Church resources