Why Saying No Feels So Hard: Barb Nangle on Codependency, Shame & Boundaries

Send us Fan MailSaying “no” should not feel like you are committing a crime, but for many professional women, boundaries bring up guilt, fear, shame, and second-guessing.In this powerful conversation, Julie Fairhurst sits down with boundaries coach, speaker, and podcaster Barb Nangle to discuss codependency, people-pleasing, family dysfunction, and the deep inner work required to stop overgiving at the expense of your own peace.Barb shares the raw story of what she calls her “codependent bottom” and how 12-step recovery helped her completely rewire the way she relates to others and to herself. We explore what codependency looks like in everyday life: rescuing, managing other people’s emotions, staying constantly available, and using approval to feel safe.This episode also dives into Al-Anon, CODA, ACA, Overeaters Anonymous, shame, guilt, nervous system safety, and why boundary setting is not just about saying the right words. It is about learning to stay with yourself when discomfort shows up.Barb offers powerful language for women who are tired of being the dependable one while quietly losing themselves. Her reminder that “discomfort does not mean danger” may be the mindset shift that helps you stop backpedaling and start choosing yourself.In this episode, we talk about:• What codependency really looks like in daily life• Why professional women struggle to say no• The difference between guilt and shame• How family dysfunction shapes people-pleasing patterns• Why boundaries are nervous system work• The role of 12-step recovery in healing codependency• How overgiving turns into resentment• Barb’s two powerful questions: “What’s my motive?” and “Does this align with my highest good?”• How to create internal safety and stop abandoning yourselfIf you have ever felt guilty about having needs, afraid of disappointing people, or exhausted from being the one everyone counts on, this conversation will meet you right where you are.Subscribe for more honest conversations with women who are healing, leading, writing, growing, and telling the truth.Reach out to Barb:Free 30-minute "Say No without Guilt" call: http://barbchat.net/podcast: https://higherpowercc.com/podcasthttps://higherpowercc.comhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/barb-nangle https://www.youtube.com/@higherpowercoachingInternal Safety Course: "Boundaries That Hold: How to Stop Overriding Yourself In Real Time." https://higherpowercc.com/boundariesthathold/Hosted by Julie FairhurstWomen Like Me Stories & BusinessIf this conversation stirred something in you… good. That’s where change begins.Make sure you’re subscribed, share this with someone who needs it, and if you’re ready to tell your story, step into your voice, or build a life that actually feels like yours… You’re in the right place.I’m Julie Fairhurst, and this is where stories turn into power.Go to my website if you would like to be a guest on the Women Like Me Stories & Business in the toolbar click Let's PodcastJulie's Website