Why Sex Hurts After 50 — And What to Actually Do About It | Ep. 175

In this episode, I'm talking about one of the most common and least discussed experiences in midlife: painful sex. Whether it's dryness, tightness, uncomfortable positioning, or intimacy that has quietly faded, I want you to know this is not normal aging and it is not something you have to accept. Bodies change as we get older — hormones shift, tissue thins, muscles tighten, and positions that once worked no longer do — but that doesn't mean pleasure is off the table. I walk through what's actually happening physiologically, why pain during sex is never something to push through, and the practical tools that can help: quality lubricants, pelvic floor physical therapy, honest communication with partners, and strategic positioning support. I also introduce the Prim Pillow by Taboo, a wedge-shaped cushion I personally use and love, and share exactly how I use it to reduce strain, change angles, and make intimacy feel comfortable and connected again. Great sex in midlife is possible — it just looks different than it did at 30, and that's not a problem. It's an opportunity.This is a highly visual episode and is best watched on video: https://youtu.be/_oXa6NOR_FQIn this episode: 00:00 - Welcome & What This Episode Is About00:47 - Introduction: Pain With Sex Is Not Normal01:30 - Sex After 50 — A Different but Better Conversation02:00 - What Actually Changes in Your Body as You Age02:51 - Why Pain During Sex Is Never Something to Tolerate03:02 - Tools That Help: Lube, Pelvic Floor PT & Communication03:28 - Introducing the Prim Pillow by Taboo04:42 - How to Use the Prim Pillow: Hip Elevation & Positioning05:54 - Why Lube Matters & the PJUR Med Sensitive Recommendation06:45 - Positioning Tips: Angles, Comfort & Communication07:14 - Sex Doesn't Expire — It Evolves07:55 - You Deserve Intimacy That Feels Good at Every Age08:13 - Resources & Where to Find Karen08:32 - Outro: Subscribe, Share & Make the World More Sex-PositiveWant a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!🔗 Resources mentioned:Pain-Free Sex resources: https://www.taboototruth.com/post/aging-and-sex-after-50-how-to-reduce-pain-increase-pleasurePrim Pillow by Tabu: https://www.heytabu.comPjure Lube (PJUR Med Sensitive Water-Based): https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3DpjurKaren Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: [email protected]: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastKaren Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: [email protected]: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastSubstack: https://karenbigman.substack.comTake control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F