Why Smart, Kind People Get Treated Poorly

You have probably met a lot of people in your life that will treat you poorly.This week, or even today, you may experience somebody who is short with you, exasperated when you are around, gives you the eye rolls, gets angry, or suddenly disappears and ghosts you.If you are like me, you internalize this immediately.You think: Is it me? Am I at fault?For a long time, I did this with almost every negative interaction. I still do. I immediately assume there is some flaw in me. I replay what I said. I think I did something wrong.What I have realized over many years is that, very often, it is not my fault.It is somebody else struggling with something deep inside that they cannot or will not process. Their mind is already made up. They did not come into the day wanting to respond to you in a positive way.Psychologists call this kind of inner clash cognitive dissonance. When people feel that ambiguity or tension, they rarely respond with patience and inquiry. Nine times out of ten, they get angry or run away.Some people fight. Some people flee.Some people ghost you.Some people give you that emotional hit that makes you feel inferior.And because our bodies respond much more to negative interactions than positive ones, that one angry moment can erase an entire day of beautiful moments. You will carry that one interaction around and ask: What did I do wrong?Most of the time, you did nothing wrong.You cannot fix them. You cannot be kind enough or generous enough to change a mind that does not want to change.So here is what I want you to internalize: • Your daily interactions are often not about you. • You cannot fix everybody. • You can walk away knowing you are a good person. • You can keep being kind without believing you are the problem.If you are the one who is always angry and aggressive, I hope you stop and reflect and think about how you can change.But I also know that most people who need that message will say it is everybody else.For you, the person who internalizes everything and thinks it is always your fault:It is not you.Keep going.Take care and have a wonderful day.