Why Staying Married Is the Hardest Part — And How to Do It Anyway | ft. Bonnie Comfort

Send us Fan MailBetween years three and seven, most marriages hit a wall. The rose-colored glasses come off, the red flags you ignored start waving, and suddenly you're wondering if you chose the wrong person. Spoiler: you probably didn't. But nobody told you this was coming — and nobody taught you what to do when it does.In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with psychologist, author, and marital therapist Bonnie Comfort — yes, that's her real name — for a candid, deeply human conversation about what it actually takes to stay married. Bonnie spent 25 years in clinical practice in Portland, Oregon, and her memoir Staying Married Is the Hardest Part draws on both her professional expertise and her own 33-year marriage, which included sexual incompatibility, fetishes, infidelity, and ultimately — a love that lasted until her husband's death.What you'll learn in this episode:Why most couples don't have a communication problem — they have an anger and resentment problem, and how to tell the differenceThe 3–7 year disillusionment pattern and why it's completely normal (and survivable)How childhood wounds show up in adult relationships as disproportionate anger — and how understanding that changes everythingWhy the small daily bids for connection your partner makes matter more than grand romantic gesturesWhat mismatched libido and mismatched sexual desire actually look like in a long-term marriage — and what a 25-year therapist says to do about itWhy fetishes and kinks are largely not amenable to therapy — and what that means for couples navigating sexual incompatibilityHow pillow talk, hot tub rituals, and 15-minute check-ins can do more for a marriage than a weekend getawayLove languages, the Gottman bids for connection, and why doing what your partner needs instead of what you would want is the real skillBonnie's memoir Staying Married Is the Hardest Part is available wherever books are sold. Find her at bonniecomfort.com and on Psychology Today.📅 Hormonal changes affecting your desire, mood, or intimate relationship? We can help. Book a consult at reviveish.comWork with Dr. [email protected] is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here:www.EDCure.com/BTS Connect with Between the Sheets:IG: @ReviveISHEmail: [email protected]#podmatchWant to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz