Why Talking About Intimacy Keeps Backfiring for Men | Ep 38 episode artwork

EPISODE · Jan 16, 2026 · 19 MIN

Why Talking About Intimacy Keeps Backfiring for Men | Ep 38

from Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men · host Alisa Stoddard

Most men believe the problem with intimacy is how or when they ask. They try to communicate better.They wait for the right moment.They rehearse the conversation in their head. And it still backfires. In this episode, I talk about why asking for intimacy often creates more distance instead of connection, and what actually needs to change for intimacy to feel natural again. We explore how many men unknowingly show up with adolescent energy, hinting, joking, hovering, or avoiding rejection instead of leading with clarity and steadiness. We also unpack why overworking and staying busy becomes a way to avoid vulnerability, even when it looks responsible on the surface. This conversation is about emotional leadership, not tactics or tricks.It’s about how you carry yourself in your relationship and why that matters more than the words you use. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Why talking about intimacy often makes things worse instead of better The difference between asking directly and hinting out of fear How joking, grabbing, or staying light can quietly shut desire down Why checking off tasks doesn’t create partnership or attraction The overworking pattern many men fall into when connection fades What emotional leadership actually looks like in real relationships How intimacy changes when a man shows up with steadiness and clarity If you recognized yourself in this episode, especially in the patterns around overworking, hinting, or pulling away, that awareness matters. If you want clarity about what’s actually happening in your relationship and whether you’re ready to change how you show up, you can book a call through my website. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

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Why Talking About Intimacy Keeps Backfiring for Men | Ep 38

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This episode is 19 minutes long.

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This episode was published on January 16, 2026.

What is this episode about?

Most men believe the problem with intimacy is how or when they ask. They try to communicate better.They wait for the right moment.They rehearse the conversation in their head. And it still backfires. In this episode, I talk about why asking for...

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