Why "Time Out" Doesn't Work: Rethinking Discipline in Foster Care with Dr. Joanna Fortune

Why do parenting strategies that worked perfectly for your own children not have the desired effect when applied to a child in foster care? Why does the "naughty step" or "time out" often escalate behaviour instead of calming it?In this insightful episode of Voices – The Origins Foster Care Podcast, host Eithne Larkin is joined by Dr. Joanna Fortune, one of Ireland’s most respected voices on child development and the author of the best-selling 15-Minute Parenting series.Together, they dive deep into the psychology of fostering, exploring why traditional discipline doesn't work for children who have experienced trauma. Dr. Fortune explains the critical difference between "shame" and "guilt," why we need to move from "time out" to "time in," and how just 15 minutes of intentional connection can start to heal a child's belief that they are "unlovable."This is an essential listen for both new and experienced carers. It offers not just the theory of therapeutic parenting, but the practical permission to stop trying to be "perfect" and start being "good enough."In this episode, you’ll hear about:Why Traditional Parenting Might Not Work in Fostering: Dr. Fortune explains why strategies that work for birth children often don't work for children in care, and why this can feel personally affronting to experienced parents.Shame vs. Guilt: A vital explanation of the difference between a child feeling they did a bad thing (Guilt) versus feeling they are a bad thing (Shame), and how this drives behaviour.Rethinking Discipline: Why "Time Out" and the "Naughty Step" are developmentally impossible for traumatised children, and why we must use "Time In" and co-regulation instead.The 15-Minute Philosophy: How dedicating just 15 minutes of predictable, uninterrupted, child-led play every day can prove to a child that you are safe and reliable."Deserving" vs. "Needing" Support: A powerful reframe for carers: You don't just need support when things go wrong; you deserve support to help you do this complex work.Fostering Teenagers: How teenagers are neurologically wired to take risks, and why they need a "safe base" to call at 3am more than anyone.The Ripple Effect: Dr. Fortune’s moving reminder that even short-term placements can show a child a different way of being, creating a "ripple effect" that lasts a lifetime.Resources from this episode:Dr. Joanna Fortune: You can find Joanna's resources, books, and membership details at drjoannafortune.com.Instagram: Follow Dr. Fortune for daily play-based tips at @drjoannafortune.Origins Foster Care: To learn more about becoming a foster carer with Origins Foster Care and taking your first step, please visit originsfostercare.ie.Connect with Us:Follow & Share: If this conversation helped you understand children in your care a little better, please follow the podcast and share this episode with your fellow parents and carers.Leave a Review: We'd be grateful if you could leave a review on your favourite podcast platform to help others find the show.