Why We Choose Who We Choose — And Why We Decide to Stay Harville Hendrix, Attachment Theory, Carl Jung, and the Emotional Operating System

Why do we fall deeply in love with certain people—and why do we sometimes stay, even when the relationship becomes painful? Inspired by the Japanese Netflix reality series Badly in Love, this episode explores one of the biggest mysteries in human relationships: why some people feel irresistibly right, while others who seem kinder, safer, and more compatible barely spark our interest. Drawing on the work of Harville Hendrix, attachment theory, Carl Jung, and Internal Family Systems, Susan Q. examines how our earliest relationships shape the people we’re drawn to. Through the lens of the Emotional Operating System (EOS) and Identity Completion, she explores why attraction often feels familiar rather than rational, why the honeymoon phase eventually gives way to a power struggle, and why that turning point may be the beginning of genuine growth rather than the end of love. You’ll discover why we choose the people we choose, why some relationships become so difficult to leave, and how healing can transform not only the way we love—but also the kinds of people we choose in the future. Perhaps we don’t choose people because they complete us. Perhaps we choose them because they reveal the parts of ourselves that are still waiting to become whole.