Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships and How to Reclaim a Sense of Self episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 3, 2026 · 1H 5M

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships and How to Reclaim a Sense of Self

from You Make Sense · host Sarah Baldwin Coaching

She goes on to explain the differences between codependency, enmeshment, attunement, and interdependence. Sarah also discusses how fear of conflict can lead to self-abandonment, what it takes to feel safe during moments of disconnection or disagreement, and how to support children through distress in ways that build resilience. Tune in to better understand your relational patterns and learn how reclaiming a sense of self supports healthier, more sustainable relationships. Episode Highlights:[00:00] Introduction[01:23] Today’s topic: how not to lose yourself in a relationship[04:53] How childhood experiences shape our adult lives[08:39] What does it mean to have a codependent part?[11:48] Why your primary needs are essential and how to build capacity for them[15:10] How caretaking can create a false sense of safety[16:58] Signs you might be in a codependent dynamic[19:16] Other protective parts of codependency: the rescuer[22:13] Avoidance can show up in the form of caretaking[23:24] Diffuse boundaries and how they also impact parenting[26:41] The ramifications of and antidote to survival-based relationships[32:13] Characteristics of a healthy relationship[33:51] How to step toward interdependence[39:05] Question 1 - The difference between codependency, enmeshment, and attunement.[49:12] Question 2 - How to overcome the fear of conflict[58:08] Question 3 - Supporting a child through distress or challenging situations Get on the Waitlist for Sarah’s 10-Week Program:Ready for tools to heal every area of your life? You Make Sense is a 10-week live program that goes far beyond these weekly podcast episodes to give you powerful somatic exercises and resources to address your nervous system, relationships, younger parts, purpose, boundaries, grief, and more!Click below to get on the waitlist for limited-time reduced pricing:https://bit.ly/sp-yms-waitlist Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook:Not sure where to get started with somatic healing? Sarah created a FREE trauma-informed workbook called "How To Gain Control Over How You Feel" to help you step toward a life filled with more freedom, ease, and empowerment.Click the link below to download:https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook Connect with Sarah on:Email Community - bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterInstagram — instagram.com/sarahbcoachingWebsite — sarahbaldwincoaching.com Submit a Question:sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast Quotes:“The thing that reminds your nervous system the most of [a] romantic relationship is your earliest childhood experiences. That lays the blueprint, or foundation, or map for how you had to navigate relationships.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:06:22]“You cannot rescue anybody else. Only they, their adult self, can rescue the younger parts of [themselves].” — Sarah Baldwin [0:20:43]“The amount of hard you experience in your childhood relationally is going to be reflected in the amount of hard that needs to get resolved in your romantic partnership.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:35:39]“If you want to avoid burnout, if you want to avoid getting overwhelmed by your client load and the work that you do, it is very important that you are functioning not from a place of codependency but interdependence.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:47:26]

Have you ever found yourself losing touch with who you are once you’re in a relationship? In this episode, Sarah explores why this pattern is so common, how it often begins in childhood, and why prioritizing connection and safety can override our own needs over time. Through a nervous-system and parts-based lens, Sarah unpacks how protective parts develop to help us survive, and how codependent patterns in adult relationships show up.

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Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships and How to Reclaim a Sense of Self

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This episode was published on February 3, 2026.

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She goes on to explain the differences between codependency, enmeshment, attunement, and interdependence. Sarah also discusses how fear of conflict can lead to self-abandonment, what it takes to feel safe during moments of disconnection or...

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