Why we self-sabotage peace and keep choosing chaos episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 4, 2026 · 12 MIN

Why we self-sabotage peace and keep choosing chaos

from Feelings I'd Rather Not · host Tash

Why do some of us keep choosing chaos over calm? In Snack Size Deep Dive 8 we explore why people who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unavailable environments often find drama familiar and peace uncomfortable. Learn how our nervous system can become addicted to chaos, how drama serves as emotional regulation, and why calm can feel suspicious, boring, or even anxiety-inducing.This episode is about understanding patterns in ourselves and our relationships, recognising how trauma shapes our reactions, and learning how to sit with discomfort and grow. This episode includes:Introduction: Chaos vs Calm – Why the nervous system craves dramaWhy calm can feel uncomfortable and trigger anxietyAvoidance and discomfortNervous system conditioning and hyper-vigilanceConfusing intensity with intimacy and its impact on relationshipsHealing and self-awarenessRecognising your own toxic patternsSelf-sabotage and accountability: How we maintain chaos to feel safeSelf-Reflection Questions:What does calm bring up for you?How do you avoid being left alone with your thoughts?Are you able to sit in stillness without confusing peace with boredom?Tell us why you love the show!Support the show🎙️NEW EPISODES EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY!! Follow so that you don’t miss an episode! I📖f you are struggling with your health, please don't go through it alone. View this: international mental health helpline directory 🌳Linktree: https://linktr.ee/thingswesayintherapy 📺YouTube: https://youtube.com/@feelingsidrathernotpodcast?si=Hswo7kvUoq7mchhz 📲Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feelingsidrathernotpodcast/ 📲TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@feelingsidrathernotpod?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc 👩‍💻RSS Feed (Buzzsprout Website): https://feelingsidrathernot.buzzsprout.com ☕️Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.https://buymeacoffee.com/feelingsidrathernotpod

Why do some of us keep choosing chaos over calm? In Snack Size Deep Dive 8 we explore why people who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unavailable environments often find drama familiar and peace uncomfortable. Learn how our nervous system can become addicted to chaos, how drama serves as emotional regulation, and why calm can feel suspicious, boring, or even anxiety-inducing. This episode is about understanding patterns in ourselves and our relationships, recognising how trauma shapes ...

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Why we self-sabotage peace and keep choosing chaos

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This episode is 12 minutes long.

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This episode was published on February 4, 2026.

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Why do some of us keep choosing chaos over calm? In Snack Size Deep Dive 8 we explore why people who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unavailable environments often find drama familiar and peace uncomfortable. Learn how our nervous system can...

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