Why You Feel Anxious and Needy in Dating (And How to Stop)

Do you ever find yourself obsessing over texts, losing focus at work, or feeling a frantic need to be chosen in your dating life? Even high-performing executives who crush it in the boardroom can suddenly feel small, insecure, and anxious when it comes to romance. In this solo episode of the Successfully in Love® Podcast, Katarina explains the deep-seated root of this needy, "pick me" energy. Discover why your subconscious mind is actively drawn to emotionally unavailable people, how subtle childhood conditioning programmed you to believe love must be earned, and the practical steps you need to take to rewire your nervous system and finally step into your worth.Key Themes Explored in This Episode:The Root of "Pick Me" Energy: Why feeling needy or anxious in dating is usually a trauma response stemming from early core wounds of feeling "not good enough" or unchosen.The Subconscious Craving for Familiarity: Why your brain is wired to seek out what feels familiar, even if that means being attracted to emotional inconsistency or neglect.The Illusion of "Chemistry": Why the intense sparks you feel early on are often just your nervous system lighting up over a familiar wound, and why secure love actually feels calm and safe.Why "Just Love Yourself" Isn't Enough: How true healing requires somatic work, nervous system regulation, and neuroplasticity to physically rewire your subconscious beliefs.The Shift to "I Choose": How to move from desperately hoping they pick you, to confidently deciding if they are right for you.4 Practical Steps to Break the Pattern: Katarina's actionable framework to pause, self-soothe, reparent your inner child, and respond from a grounded place of power.CHAPTERS00:00 — Intro: The Hidden Shame of Feeling Anxious and Needy in Dating04:15 — Where Core Wounds Come From (And Why It Doesn't Have to Be Major Trauma)11:42 — How Your Brain Recreates the Past (And Why "Chemistry" is Often a Trap)16:36 — 4 Practical Steps to Recondition Your Mind and Break the Anxious Cycle20:29 — Outro: Stop Settling and Start Choosing What Chooses YouLinks & ResourcesApply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska/20minconsultVisit Katarina's website to learn more: www.katarinapolonska.comAbout the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science.Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedInReady to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resourceWant deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your callEnjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes.As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.