Why You Feel Disconnected During Sex (And What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You)

If sex feels like a chore… your body is trying to tell you something.What if the reason you don’t want sex… has nothing to do with libido?In this episode of The Unscripted Woman Podcast, Kelly sits down with intimacy coach Daria Lebedeva to talk about why so many women feel disconnected during sex, and what’s actually happening beneath the surface. From people-pleasing and “performing” intimacy… to feeling numb, avoidant, or completely shut down, this conversation gets into the real reasons desire disappears.Daria shares how her own journey through burnout, trauma, and nervous system dysregulation led her to discover the missing piece most women are never taught:Your body has to feel safe before it can feel pleasure.In this episode, we explore:• Why sex can start to feel like a chore• The link between trauma, the nervous system, and desire• What’s actually happening when you feel disconnected or “not into it”• How people-pleasing shows up in intimacy• Why forcing yourself makes it worse• What somatic work is — and how it helps you reconnect to your body• How to rebuild safety, trust, and desire from the inside outThis isn’t about fixing your sex life. It’s about understanding your body, and why it’s been protecting you.If you’ve ever thought, “What’s wrong with me?”, this episode will change how you see yourself.Daria Lebedeva is an Intimacy Coach who helps women ditch the pressure and finally enjoy pleasure again.Daria’s work blends science, soul, and lived experience. She trained in psychology and psychiatric research, worked on the frontlines of mental health, and later dove deep into trauma and body-based work after her own experiences with burnout and disconnection.She understands the real patterns women struggle with - from people-pleasing and performing during sex, to freezing, avoiding, or feeling ‘broken’.She’s basically the woman you call when you want to fix your sex life from the inside out.To connect further: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DariaLebedeva111Instagram - @enlightenedsoultribeLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/darialebedeva1996Your host, Kelly Kingsland, works with successful women at transition points - career shifts, identity changes, empty nest - who are ready to stop outsourcing their power and lead themselves.After decades of living by the rules, the roles, and the relentless expectations placed on women, Kelly walked through her own unraveling: burnout, identity collapse, and the quiet ache of knowing she was meant for more. What she discovered on the other side became the foundation of her work.She is the creator and host of The Unscripted Woman Podcast, where she spotlights real, raw conversations with women who are rewriting the rules and rising on their own terms.Kelly’s mission is simple:to help women stop following the script, and design a life that finally feels like theirs.Kelly can be reached at:radiantfemme.ca www.facebook.com/kelly.m.kingslandIG @kellyradiantfemmeSupport the show