Why You Keep Returning to the Same Patterns episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 19, 2026 · 23 MIN

Why You Keep Returning to the Same Patterns

from The Spiral | The Science of Stress, Burnout, and Why You Feel the Way You Feel · host Lauren Tobey

You've done the therapy, read the books, tried the breathwork — and you still feel stuck. This episode explains why. Lauren introduces The Spiral Framework and the four nervous system states you cycle through repeatedly: Ashes, Ember, Flame, and Rise. Not as stages to graduate from, but as terrain you learn to navigate.In this episode: why growth isn't a straight line, the three laws of the Spiral, what it actually means when you feel like you're "back at the beginning," and the single question that changes everything — from "what's wrong with me" to "where am I right now."From the book Spiraling Into Control by Lauren Tobey — available wherever you buy books.Join the free community: https://www.laurentobey.com/communityClick here to view the episode transcript.

You've done the therapy, read the books, tried the breathwork — and you still feel stuck. This episode explains why. Lauren introduces The Spiral Framework and the four nervous system states you cycle through repeatedly: Ashes, Ember, Flame, and Rise. Not as stages to graduate from, but as terrain you learn to navigate.In this episode: why growth isn't a straight line, the three laws of the Spiral, what it actually means when you feel like you're "back at the beginning," and the single question that changes everything — from "what's wrong with me" to "where am I right now."From the book Spiraling Into Control by Lauren Tobey — available wherever you buy books.Join the free community: https://www.laurentobey.com/communityClick here to view the episode transcript.

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This episode was published on February 19, 2026.

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You've done the therapy, read the books, tried the breathwork — and you still feel stuck. This episode explains why. Lauren introduces The Spiral Framework and the four nervous system states you cycle through repeatedly: Ashes, Ember, Flame, and...

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