Why You Keep Saying Sorry (Even When You Did Nothing Wrong)

In this episode, I'm talking about why self-blame becomes almost automatic when you've been in an emotionally abusive or coercively controlling relationship, and why it feels like relief even when it's actually costing you.I get into the nervous system science behind it, specifically how fawning works, how your brain gets wired to connect calm with compliance, and why that wiring doesn't just disappear when the relationship ends. If you have ever cried the whole drive home because you didn't apologize, this one is for you. I also walk through some concrete ways to start interrupting the pattern, because healing from this is not about flipping a switch. It is about catching yourself in small moments, again and again, until a different kind of calm starts to feel possible.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner