Why Your Attempts to Fix Your Relationships Are Making It Worse

Have you ever felt like you’re trying so hard to communicate, but the harder you try, the more things seem to fall apart? Whether it’s that heavy feeling of being misunderstood, the exhausting cycle of the silent treatment, or the fear that you’re accidentally pushing the people you love away—I want you to know: you aren't broken. Most of us are just running on a communication "blueprint" we didn't choose. In today’s episode, we’re peeling back the layers of why we fall into these traps. We’re talking about: Why "stonewalling" and passive aggression are actually defense mechanisms (not just "bad behavior"). The difference between being "anxious" versus "avoidant" in a conflict. How to use the DEAR MAN technique to finally ask for what you need. Why "repairing" after a fight is actually more important than being perfect. You don't have to be perfect to have a healthy relationship. You just need to be willing to learn a different way. Episode Sponsor: Reddit - Interested in finding a community that you really love and can trust? Download the Reddit app today! Mentioned in this episode: Why Do I Keep Doing This? My Substack Gottman Institute Research on The Four Horsemen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices