Why Your Partner Keeps Saying No to Sex — And What to Do About It | Ep. 176 (Part 1)

In this episode, I sit down with two powerhouse sex therapists — Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz — to dig into one of the most common and least talked-about issues in long-term relationships: mismatched libidos. We're breaking down what desire discrepancy really means, why it doesn't have to spell the end of your sex life, and why the person wanting less sex is never simply "the problem." We get honest about the shame spiral that shuts men down sexually, the hidden reasons behind low male desire (from testosterone to performance anxiety to cultural conditioning), and the exact language that can open a conversation your partner has been too scared to start. This is Part 1 of 2 — and it's essential listening for anyone who has ever felt rejected in the bedroom or guilty for saying no.In this episode:00:00 - Welcome & Guest Introductions01:50 - What Is Desire Discrepancy — And Who Has It?04:25 - Why Nobody's the Problem (But It Feels That Way)06:40 - When She Wants It More Than He Does09:20 - The Hidden Reasons Behind Low Male Desire12:55 - How to Start the Conversation With a Shut-Down Partner16:10 - The Two Words That Change Everything: You Matter19:05 - Getting Into Therapy: Where Do You Even Start?21:30 - The Bilingual Couple: Unlocking Desire Through Language24:20 - Men's Shame, Sensuality & the Missing Safe Spaces26:40 - Sexual Rejection and the Fear of Not Belonging27:50 - Part 2 Teaser & Where to Find the Guests Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopauseKaren Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: [email protected]: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastAbout the Guests:Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz are the directors of The Intimacy Institute. They have been in practice for over 16 years, offering the best in relationship and clinical sex therapy. Their practice offers both telehealth services and three-day couples retreats from their office in Colorado. As licensed and certified therapists with professional, personal, and parenting experience, they help elevate relationships to the next level.Connect with Jenni & Daniel:Website: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drjenniskyler https://www.instagram.com/sexandthepsychepod/Podcast: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/sex-and-the-psycheAbout the host: Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: [email protected]: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastSubstack: https://karenbigman.substack.comTake control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F