Withdrawing and Avoiding During Conflict

In this conversation, Kelsey and Katelyn discuss the withdrawing stance in the Enneagram, focusing on types 4, 5, and 9. They pose the question - does avoiding conflict really lead to peace? Also, how can ice cubes help? They explain that these types withdraw in order to meet their needs or cope with conflict. However, withdrawing does not always bring peace or fulfill their needs. It is important for these types to communicate their needs and seek connection with others. They emphasize the importance of communication, expressing emotions, and setting boundaries. They also discuss the example of Kenneth from the show "Love is Blind," who exhibited a common withdrawing behavior. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for self-awareness and intentional effort in addressing conflict and finding peace. Takeaways The withdrawing stance in the Enneagram includes types 4, 5, and 9. Withdrawal can be a way for these types to find comfort and safety, but it is important to communicate and set expectations with others. Expressing emotions and communicating what is happening in the moment can help navigate conflict and avoid misunderstandings. Finding healthy ways to withdraw, such as taking time alone or engaging in physical activities, can be beneficial for these types. Reset the nervous system! Chapters (00:00) Introduction: Withdrawing and Avoiding During Conflict (01:57) The Withdrawing Stance: Fours, Fives, and Nines (04:45) The Impact of Withdrawing on Relationships (05:42) Ruminating on the Past (06:59) The Origins of Withdrawing as a Coping Mechanism (07:47 )Triggers and Instincts in Withdrawing (08:43) The Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Responses (10:14) Attachment Styles and Withdrawing (12:16) The Withdrawing Stance: Fours (13:42) Tips for Fours in Overcoming Withdrawing (15:12) The Withdrawing Stance: Fives (16:36) Tips for Fives in Overcoming Withdrawing (19:38) The Facade of Inner Peace in Nines (20:30) The Need for Trust in Nines (21:40) The Illusion of Peace in Nines (22:44) Questioning the Effectiveness of Withdrawing (24:06) Does Withdrawing Lead to Peace? (26:30) The Impact of Withdrawing and Avoidance (27:36) The Connection Between Avoidance and Anxiety (28:48) Building Trustworthy Relationships (29:48) Determining the Worth of a Relationship (30:38) Setting Boundaries and Communicating Needs (32:38) Examples of Withdrawal in Different Types of Relationships (33:45) Regulation Techniques for Dealing with Withdrawal (36:47) Self-Talk and External Processing (38:56) Staying Present and Communicating in Conflict (42:46) Examples of Withdrawal in Pop Culture (45:29) Lessons from Love is Blind (48:07) Conclusion and Final Tips To book an Enneagram Coaching session with Kelsey, go to ⁠https://www.enneagramwithkelsey.com⁠. For CA based listeners to book an intro therapy session with Katelyn, go to ⁠https://www.Freeandwellcc.com⁠. For up to date resources from Katelyn, you can follow her instagram at ⁠https://www.Instagram.com/freeandwellcc⁠. For up to date resources from Kelsey, you can follow her instagram at ⁠https://www.instagram.com/enneagramwithkelsey/⁠.