Women Approaching Men: Why It Usually Backfires [Ep 130] episode artwork

EPISODE · May 22, 2026 · 43 MIN

Women Approaching Men: Why It Usually Backfires [Ep 130]

from Better Than Perfect | A Relationship Podcast · host Nicole and John Sonmez

Women Approaching Men: Why It Usually BackfiresShould women approach men? John and Nicole break down why women making the first move almost always kills attraction — even when the guy would have pursued her anyway. This is the raw, unfiltered truth about pursuing, chasing, and why men are wired the way they are whether they admit it or not.From nightclub stories to dorm room disasters, John gets uncomfortably honest about women who pursued him hard — and how it instantly killed his attraction. Nicole shares her own experiences shooting her shot, what actually worked, and the subtle moves women can make instead that signal interest without scaring a guy off or handing over all the power.In This EpisodeMen are natural pursuers — even if they complain about it, taking away the chase kills attractionWomen approaching men can work, but it's the exception, not the ruleSubtle signals like eye contact, proximity, and positioning are far more effective than direct approachesWhat makes something creepy isn't your looks — it's insulating yourself from rejectionBold action is always hotter than covert, low-risk moves, especially for menIf women approach too aggressively, they risk setting a masculine-feminine dynamic they don't actually wantWomen should make themselves approachable, not do the approachingMen need to stop letting fear of rejection paralyze them — just go talk to herTimestamps0:00 — Kissing Strangers in Nightclubs Cold Open4:19 — Nicole's Experience Approaching Guys8:03 — What Women Should Do Instead of Approaching10:05 — The Difference Between Creepy and Bold14:01 — Navigating Groups and Breaking Away From Friends17:05 — What Makes an Approach Creepy vs. Confident20:03 — The Art of the Bold Move25:43 — Masculine vs. Feminine Energy in Dating Dynamics31:03 — Why Men Need to Be Pushed to Step Up36:46 — Don't Go On Dates You're Not Ready For39:41 — The Becky Story: When Women Come On Too Strong43:13 — Final Advice and Wrap-UpConnect🎙 Full show notes & resources📺 YouTube📷 Instagram: @betterthanperfectpodcast

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published May 22, 2026

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Women Approaching Men: Why It Usually Backfires [Ep 130]

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