Are you going to name this the case for Ray Rice? Or why we should get rid of equal rights? What's he going to do? I don't know.
He's going to crack your head wide open, you know? What if this is now he finds out? What if this is now he finds out? That would be fucking hilarious.
Do you think we're in prison for that now? 100%. Cheers. Welcome to the program and welcome back.
The one and only Yadis Papas, everybody. Let them hear it. Make sure you watch Mom Love available on YouTube. Do you also have another one on YouTube?
I've got another one on YouTube, yeah. And please, I'll be in the Wilbur Theater on July 8th and Paramount and Sony Hall in New York. Paramount in Long Island. So go to Yadis Papas.com Yadis Papas Comedy.com for tickets.
I forgot my website. You forgot your website? That was, those are all three great venues, by the way. I've been to all three of those.
They're amazing. Yeah. The Wilbur's also like, have you done the Wilbur before? It's my first time doing the Wilbur.
I'm excited. Man, I feel like that is like one of the milestones of being a comedian is doing the Wilbur. Yeah. It's like, I don't know, it's a special room, you know?
Yeah. Yeah, it's really cool. Yeah, I feel like I'm like, right now those numbers are starting to creep up. Thanks to all you guys who are having me on.
Oh no, man. The Wilbur's one of those milestones where you're like, yeah, okay. It's rad, it's rad. It's like, it's theater, you know, it's a proper theater but it has club feel and there's not that many rooms like that.
There's some theaters that are like around that same size that feel enormous but that feels like they're right up on you because it's old. There's not that many old. The old ones are, the old ones have a shitty entrance in, shitty green rooms, you know, like you duck into things because everybody was like 5'2 when they built it. But the cool thing is is that they built it for whatever was the acoustics of that era which means that it was all built like, you know, with sound as a priority so everybody's like on top of you and there's not that many rooms like that.
Because they didn't have amplification back then so they built it good. Yeah, they built it good. I mean, the seats are probably, no, they have good seats. There's some of the old ones too like they have shitty seats or there'll be like a column in the middle of the theater and people are like, I have to sit behind this so they get it.
It's like 1908 when they built this. What do you want? We can play back then. Shut up.
They had so many things to worry about. They forgot one thing. I had more of an acceptance if death could happen at any moment. I thought about this a number of times and I think, you know, like there's people now if you say someone died they're like, huh, like the way that death hits people it's like, oh my God.
Death was so common. It had to be just like, what did you have for lunch? It had to be just, how's your father? Well, you know, two of the kids died, my wife died, my parents are dead, my sister died.
And people were like, yeah, you know, I had a bunch of two that died and then they're like, isn't it great that we're not dead? And then they were probably just like, you want a coffee? Yeah, yeah. Very normal, yeah.
And then it's probably like, well, you know, the three of them got sick, the flu and stuff and then, you know, a couple of kids got murdered. People also killed everybody over anything. Yeah, there was no ring cameras back then so like it was very easy to like break into people's houses. No ring, no lawsuits.
I don't even got any sleep back then. Can you imagine sleeping without knowing that the cops had to come to your house on a horse or something or they had to run? Sometimes they had to run there and then there was no way to call them. You had to like blow a conker or something.
I don't know, how did you call the cops back in the day? You just had to like, you had to be ready to kill too. You had to be ready to fight. Yeah, and it's like, you weren't like throw the dukes up, you know?
You're like, I have this fucking bayonet and I'm just going to just shove it into somebody and hopefully die. That's it, yeah. You'd all be dead. Joe Rogan might be alive.
He'd be able to, a lot of us would be dead. A lot of us would be dead. Yeah, a lot of us would be dead and I don't know, the ones that are still alive, you had a body count. You know what I mean?
Like if you were alive right now at your age and I was like, how many people have you killed? You'd be like, I don't fucking know. First of all, we'd be like great grandfathers at this point. Yeah, that's true.
We would. People live to be 30. You were making life decisions, like real decisions at 15. Yeah, you were.
Yeah, I think Alexander the Great conquered the world at 21. I mean, how nuts is that? He was 21 and he was like, he conquered the known world, he was like a leader, he was like a grown up man. At 21 I was like, you know, drinking brews, I think I had syphilis.
It was like I was in college, I was taking antibiotics. Yeah. I was not, you know, at 15, you would have a lady and probably a couple kids and people would be like, and you see like a 14 year old kid he's in like a three piece suit. Oh yeah.
Yeah, he looks like Winston Churchill. Was that the thing, they ran in sweaters. Did it bother your dad the way society dressed as he got, you know what I mean, like in his later years? Yeah, I think he was just perplexed by it.
I mean, he was in, my dad had me later, he was like like people do now, you know, so my dad had me when he was like 46, 47, he fought in the Korean war and so it was just weird for him. He was like, you know, I was 24 and I was just like, I don't know what I'm gonna do in my life. He was like, by the time I was 24, where I fought in three wars. Yeah, I had four grandkids.
I had started two law practices. Yeah, and I was just like, I'm gonna live in this house still. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna do skits for a living.
I'm gonna do plays. I'm gonna do one man plays. He was about your mental health, right? Oh, dude.
My grandfather had a 24 hour restaurant. You know, he died before I was born, but you know, he was one of the Greek generation that started the 24 hour diner. Yeah. I think my dad said, literally, I met him like 15 times because he just like worked.
Those immigrants just worked. All the time. They worked. And yeah, I think if he saw what I was doing, he'd be like, huh?
You're wearing a wig? Yeah. What is he getting paid for this? What?
He just would have no concept. It would be like when a Native American saw the Conquistador ships. Can you imagine if that guy saw you do a show and then saw someone give you a check and be like, what the fuck was that for? Yeah.
For your little dance. Yeah. I mean, he just watched us talk to crowds. Yeah.
Like, where's the work? He's like, I'm doing 24 hour shifts. Yeah. Yeah.
And my dad is funny. I think he hated scruff. So he came up to me and he'd be like, what is this shit? He's like, you know, when I, growing up, people wore coat and tie to fly.
Oh, it was like an event to fly, right? That was a big deal. It was a big deal. People were like, I'm going to fly today.
Yeah. And they got dressed and people wear literal pajamas and slippers. Yeah. You know, I saw someone board the flight in a bikini with a wrap.
You see what you'd wear at the pool? She boarded like that, you know, and he would just be like, God. And then his version of dressing bent like it's Sunday was hang out at the house, khakis, collared button down shirt. Yeah.
Why don't you put on what I ever saw him wear. You would consider like Mr. Rogers wear. Yeah.
Like it was pretty formal. You know, it's interesting because I think we're all probably two, three generations. A lot of us are the kids of immigrants in some way, three, four generations. And their mentality was just like, they're here to loot.
Everyone came here to loot. Yeah. Like we're here for loot money. We're going to work.
We're going to make it. And so like they were always thinking about looking more formal and looking like they were millionaires and stuff. And then they went up there and then they had kids and we just took it right back down to laziness. What's the least amount of work I can do and get paid the most?
I think because they're, you know, they're working so hard that generation, especially immigrants more so because they were like, I got into this place because I'm going to bust my ass that their kids were like, oh, you hooked it up. Yeah. A lot of the kids are like, you did it. Yeah.
And they don't feel the urgency, the urgency to do something wasn't there for a lot of kids. And they get mad, but it's really their fault. Yeah. I remember like my other grandfather was like, I worked so hard so you never have to.
And I was like, yeah, great. I'm living your dream for me right now. I'm working never. I work for 40 minutes.
Like sometimes I stress about that. And also, I feel like it's too much work. I feel like it's too much work. I got to sit here and talk.
Yeah. I got to go have fun with Tom Segura today for Jesus Christ. What is this? I'm going to call mine.
Do you have the thing where sometimes now, because you know, everybody sees their parent, I think boys see their dads as like something special, right? And then like you hit a certain age where you go, oh, he's just a guy. Yeah. And it took me a long time before I realized that my dad's a terrible driver.
Like I didn't realize how bad of a driver he was until like a couple years ago. I was like in the car. I was like, oh, he's always driven like this and he sucks. And like, I was like, oh my, you know what I mean?
You go, my dad. He's a hero. Yeah. And I was like, because he used to drive where he would go, you hit the gas and then release it.
So like basically nauseating. Yeah. He drove like a woman. Yeah.
He drove like a woman. Yeah. He drove like a woman with a smaller brain. And I was like, I remember pointing it out a few times and I was like, hey, could you stop doing it?
Because once you get older, you know, you're like, hey man, yeah. Did you stop doing that? Was that like the first time? The first suggestion you had from him and then you were like, because that, you cry.
It's almost like, yeah, I remember those moments where you go from that shift and like, he's a guy, he's perfect. Oh shit, he's just a dude. He's just a flawed, regular dude. He's just a flawed dude.
And it like, changes your, it like cracks your whole perspective. It cracks it. It does. Yeah.
I mean, there's a few of them where I was like, oh wow, like I didn't really, but I remember the driving one really hit me where I was like, like you're God awful. You know, you always wanted to call, literally police on him. yeah, yeah. And I wanted him to know how bad, I wanted there to be like a news article about it.
You know, that he would just like read and be like, God, I'm really bad at this. We got a lot of comments because I know your dad was in the military too. Yeah, yeah. It was hilarious.
A lot of stories about him. Yeah. And my dad was, that was one of the things about him. He was an absolute horrible driver.
One time he made a U-turn on the Verrazano Bridge, which is the bridge between Staten Island and Brooklyn. He made a U-turn on the bridge. Jesus. Because you can get, there's a lane in Bay Ridge.
By the way, even conceptually, that's insane. It's insane, dude. And it's not like, you know, it's New York. So there's trucks coming.
And so he's like turning. People are fucking people and they're just going, fuck you. We were like six. It was me and my friend in the backseat and he's just, people are cursing.
It's New York, so they let him have it. And he's just like smoking a cigarette, you know, no seatbelt. And he made a U-turn on the Verrazano Bridge. That's crazy.
So when he caught in, like a truck had to swerve and fell off the bridge and then it was commotion and then it was like nothing happened. That's hilarious. And another time we were in Barbados on vacation and he had to drive to the other side in Barbados, like the English deal, for whatever reason. And we were in one of those buggies, my whole family was in it.
And there was a woman like carrying a jug in her head and carrying a jug in her hand. And he couldn't drive. He was struggling, he kept almost dipping into the side. And he drove past her and knocked a jug out of her hand.
It was terrifying. Yeah, he was a horrible driver. Here's an interesting thing though, because this is a big thing for men. Did he know how horrible a driver he was?
I think he did know. You think he did know? I think he did know. See, the big thing for me is there's no way my father knew or accepted that, you know what I mean?
Like in his mind, he was a great driver. He was married. Most dudes are like, I'm a fucking great driver. I can fight.
I can fuck. I can drive. Most guys don't want to hear any of that shit about them not being able to do that. I remember I took him to a game in LA.
I was still living in LA. We went down to a Rams game and they were playing in LA. I forget the name of this. It was before the SoFi.
But anyway, we're going back up to the city and we're in the 110, which is a major freeway. And it's like mid-afternoon, I guess on a Sunday. So the point is, this is a major, there's not traffic, but cars are moving. I mean, this is like four or five lanes of moving.
And I get him in this car that I got that has like a real engine on it. I'm like, you want to drive? He's like, yeah. And we're in the speeding lane.
We go to the far left lane, the carpool lane. And he's going like 70. And I'm like, yo, man, hit the gas. I can see the cars behind him.
He's like, oh. So he goes, and he goes like up to like 78 and he slows back down. And I'm like, and I can feel like my anxiety building. And he's just talking to me.
I'm like, hey, hey, hey, I go, you got to speed up. Drive like a man. Yeah, speed up. And then he's like, oh, oh.
And then he like speeds up and then it neatly declines. And I'm like, get out of this lane. Just get out of the lane. He's like, get out of this lane.
Yeah, because you're driving too slow. And then he's like missing exits. I was fucking losing my mind. Your dad, he sounds like people when they, you know, because when somebody's doing that and they're impeding your process, you want to pass, but you have to see him.
You ever notice you got to see him? You have to see him. And you always play that game. You're like, was he Asian or was he a woman?
Yeah, Asian woman. I play that game every time. But that's the game we all play. Don't act like you don't play that game.
Everyone plays that game, dude. Everyone I found yesterday. So yesterday, I'm like, and when it's not, you're very surprised. You're blown away.
So when they saw your dad, they're like, what the fuck? That was him? Fucking right? Oh my God.
He's got his camera. No, he fucking like, yesterday I was, I was driving again. It's like moving like, I mean, I'm on the highway, but it's moving. And also I'm doing 35 behind one car.
And I'm like, this fucking asshole. So I do the thing where I go around. And of course I slow down for a second. I look Asian guy on his phone.
Oh God. So he's right. He's actually, he's like this. Yeah, it's worse than COVID.
Yeah. I'm like, he made you better than that. Yeah, I did. Go back to more.
I fucking lost my mind. Oh yeah. Yeah. I hope they clip this out.
Oh fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know what they're doing in New York now?
You know, it's funny. Like, I just feel like every government right now is trying to get all that money back. Yeah. That like, it just gave out during COVID or whatever.
And they come, you know, they're doing these little schemes now in New York where they have cameras everywhere. Yeah. And they hit you, you know, they hit you for a speeding ticket, but it's no points. Oh, it's just a collectible.
Dude, you're like two miles per hour over the speed limit. Yeah. They send you. And it's like, it feels like, it feels like you're getting shaken down by the mafia.
Sure. Like you get that thing. You are. You are.
You kind of are. And you get in the mail and it's like, yeah, you were going 37 to 32. There's a school somewhere in New York. So you were in the school zone.
Yeah. You're like, what? Someone just told me, was it in LA? Somewhere where they just got pulled over for doing like five over.
I was like, what? They're doing it. They got pulled over for going like five or six over. I was like, I'd never heard.
I got a ticket one time for going nine over, which I was like, come on. This was years ago in South Carolina. And then a lot of times in the South, there's a big thing about, you have an out-of-state plate, you're fair game. At least that's like how people talk, you know?
So it's like, you're driving through Georgia, you got Florida plates. It's like, fuck you. This is Georgia, you know? So I don't know if it was that, but yeah, I was like, nine over, man.
Like, don't you guys have literally some shit to do? You know these other cars on this highway doing 20 over? You'll get them. It was like, not.
Yeah. Yeah. Nice fat ticket too. How much was it?
I mean, back then, I mean, it was at least 270, which for me, I was in college. I was like, yeah, I'm seeing it a lot. Yeah. You know, you know, yeah, I hate those when you get caught and you're like nine or eight over Alex, 12 over whatever, but you know those ones where they get you and you just, you just give in.
You're like, you got it. They're like, they come to your side and you have no explanation. There's nothing you can think about. I started with apologies.
I know. I'm sorry. Just take me away. Put your hands up.
You're like, yeah, tickets not even enough. I should be in prison for that. Yeah. You called me.
I was going 97. You got me. By the way, for people, some people don't, like I have friends who talk to cops so aggressively. I always get something like Jesus.
Like, and they go, their whole thing is they're like, cops are dicks. I go, I think they're dicks to you because you're a dick. Like I always, like when a cop pulls me over, I'm never like, what's the fucking problem? You know, it's like, you're insane.
You all like, if you want your chance, the best chance you ever have of being like, you know, let you out with a warning is like, how's it going officer or sir or ma'am. Yeah. And I did not realize that. Of course, like here's my pick, like just be polite.
Like you would be to anybody. Yeah. And some of my friends, I have friends who go like, Hey, like they start conversation with cops like that. Like, Hey, that's what I fucking thought.
And like, like really aggressive. And I'm like, and then they go, all cops, I fucking hate all cops. You know, I get that, but definitely all cops hate you. Yeah.
Because you know, because you start every conversation, like you have something to hide. Yeah. And they have a major advantage over you. Yeah.
That you can't like, you know, they have a gun on them, you know, you don't have a gun. They got the law. They have the law. Yeah.
You're not in a great position. There's a, there. are enough variables in this where they can ruin your day they can ruin your day it could be a real impediment to your day yeah you know uh nobody does that more than women you ever see the way women talk to cops yeah because they don't know what like they don't even know the thing that we do as men which is every man always sizes another man up even on like a subconscious level you always do it every guy when you walk into a room and there's another man part of your brain goes could this guy fuck me up absolutely right you're not the conscious of your brain just tells you like hey by the way don't fuck with this guy too hard you know yeah but women are just like what's he gonna do i don't know he could fucking crack your head right open you know yeah they just it's the same way they talk to husbands yeah what's going on did you forget like i could squish your head you take your head and just squish it yeah yeah it's really the way they talk the way my wife talks to me sometimes i just look at her and go like jesus yeah you're mine yeah like you know you know i think like women are upset because of like the treatment that they had in history but they don't take into account the way it was before that treatment started yeah like so it was like this it was out of hand and i was like we can't get anything done yep we can't like worry about saber-soothed tigers and listen to this bitch cracking off at the mouth while we're trying to figure out science and math and fucking civilization so for just a little while you're gonna get hit yeah you can shut the fuck up until we build shit and it gets comfortable and then you can run your fucking mouth again because we invented air conditioning but until that time you're gonna get punched you're gonna get punched yeah and it was totally before that yeah or else we wouldn't be here you could tell who grew up in like a house and an environment where there was never the implication of a threat you know i mean like because like not all women speak to cops that way but i know like when you said that i know exactly who you're talking about and somebody who's gotten unchecked in life yes it's not you know they're just in life they mouthed off at home nobody ever said shit they talked to their dad like that they talked to their brother like that they talked to teachers like that and everybody let it slide yeah everybody let it slide and then yeah you could do that to like a cop who's just like you know i'm gonna do is i'm gonna grab you by your hair pull you out of the window i don't give a fuck because this is you know making georgia and then i'm gonna drop my elbow under your face as you get the pavement that way it's like you don't talk to people yeah yeah they should have cops should always have like a big like big fat black cop just every car should have a big fat black woman cop just for that situation yeah so when the guy goes over and she just said and then just goes yeah tanisha yeah come here yeah tanisha just comes over pulls the hair and just gives her a little after school outside beating no you're right though wives need to get checked too i mean i've told mine a few times i'm like do you realize that like with my bare hand i could just crack your stern you have no protection like your chest plate is just gone yeah it's like it's like us fighting them is like us fighting brock lesnar they don't get that they don't get it they don't get that at all they don't get the weight difference it's a it's a fight that would never be put on because the weight difference is too great promoters like what the fuck we promote yeah you couldn't even put that on like they just don't get it i can pick you up yeah and it's only because of the law you know and so maybe that needs to change for a little bit yeah until we get back in order like whenever you hear a story about a guy just beating the fuck out of some shit are you like well i mean i get it well you also go like well what did she say you know it's like in new york like i noticed this thing um in uh you know in a lot of other cities homeless people are very aggressive yeah i lived there for a year they'll be aggressive right yeah make you like hey now somebody needs to watch your car and they kind of shake you down yeah and if you don't like stick a knife in your tire yeah so like you know they're very aggressive to get in your face and stuff like that new york new york they don't right new york they're very respectful of your space and stuff like that and that's because every once in a while as new yorkers because they know you don't know everybody new york people can be dangerous every once in a while new yorkers we do this thing where we just set one of them on fire yeah to send a message and that's how you keep it and then that spreads and then it's a nice detente where they ask respectfully they don't get your fucking space if you're eating a brunch outside they don't come over and ask you for money you just set one yes on fire that's it to send a message i feel like that's what we do with women just and then go back to the law but just for like a month a month a month it's just like no more first of all a huge advantage of us a city with that population is that someone's always there's always someone does some wild shit that lets everybody going that can happen you know like that can happen here like villages don't have that yeah big cities like new york they're like look man you never know someone might eat your face it happens yeah it actually happens yeah you've seen anything and literally everything and anything has happened in that you go down the subway you see like a guy shitting in a like on a public uh waistband yeah like i've seen i've seen so many weird things downtown l.a. same dude i've been downtown l.a.
and just seen a guy just right there on third street just squat and shit right there on the sidewalk and you're like and then when you walk those streets your nose always tell you it's like oh that's human shit that's not it has a really distinct odor it's not it's a human you can make it out yeah yeah that's a guy's shit yeah yeah you know what's great about the cities like cities like new york where everyone's like doing something we're like you know busy it's it is true and they're heavily populated you could just be driving you'd be like oh that's a guy eating another guy but i still got a meeting i got it yeah you know you know if it was happening in a smaller town that would be the biggest everyone would stop you just tell someone in passing oh before i saw a guy eating another guy but anyway let's get back to this movie do you remember speaking of guys beating women do you remember when uh do you remember greg hardy oh he's like a football player he played in the night and now he's cowboys yeah he fights now in mixed martial arts and i don't think he's done very well so maybe that's the sweet justice of this all yeah he's got yeah so he's gotten beat up a few times i mean he's a big dude who most of us should not approach um but you know the guy's trying to make something of it but when he got in trouble he was playing the nfl and he was he like beat up he threw her and then it said in the article onto a pile of guns yeah so he like he just busts her she landed on guns i was always like that's a crazy look right there yeah as a visual it's just like he had a pile of guns yeah yeah pull that up yeah pull up the article yeah he um you know ray rice you know the reason why ray rice i think it was just if it was on camera i think greg hardy was oh yeah forever yeah and ray rice she technically ran at him right i don't i think it looked like she was going for one leg take down if i remember i don't remember that i mean you gotta find the article about the incident not the suspension like when the thing about yeah the thing about having video it changes everything any type of crime on camera like when people get to see it it changes everything because i think what greg hardy did was like just as bad if not worse and he still was able to play they got 10 game suspension yeah but the thing is that was like the ray rice was security footage from the casino i think it was a casino right hotel casino or just a elevator but yeah but you get to you see the full impact and then you see like what a powerful like it's so strong yeah you realize this is like this is a top tier athlete yeah it's not like it's not like there's cool ones but you know it's not like it was like holy fuck she went limp like a noodle um it was bad so this is the hard one yeah so it's like minutes earlier he said she had thrown her against the tile bathroom wall tossed her onto a futon futon covered in a salt rifle and choked her until she told him to kill me so i don't have to god damn yeah he's so big that i imagine that like i don't know how you even survive like if he hit me it would be a hospital for a month right so i don't know how a woman survives a guy that a defensive end in the nfl doing that they're crazy they're very resilient women they can have babies and stuff like that like you know it's like i feel bad for a lot of stuff but they are resilient yeah yeah they can take like and also emotionally resilient like not only can they get babies and rear them and get through postpartum and all that stuff but like just i mean think about um ray rice's wife she's stuck by his side he knocked her out cold in the elevator and then she was like guys guys it's cool i deserved it yeah i didn't hear what i said i spit at him and like the nfl was like no but we should have forgiven it if she forgets she forgets yeah and not only that it wasn't like i believe they're still together yeah so it also wasn't like i'm just with you for this nfl track like that's still his lady i believe dude is i mean i think that's the most one of the most admirable love stories i've ever heard yeah like they should make a movie i'm not joking i totally agree yeah i mean she knocked me on an elevator but i'm a ride or die yeah you know what i mean i love it i love it a lot of people say what we all did is bad but like they're still together yeah it's 40 years yeah i know people of the same age who broke up after six months yeah so who's got the better love who's got real love who's got real love yeah they're still together they're still together ray rice and her still together and her jaw looks fine yeah he actually i think he fixed it i can't believe we're doing this are you gonna name this the case for ray rice or why we should get rid of equal rights women are too powerful that's too powerful right now that's all i'm saying it's a little too much no um yeah i don't know man that is a love story though the witty allen one too it's like he is also you know it's funny how how people's declines are portrayed and perceived this is fascinating to me so first of all i'll say this i'm not a new yorker i love i love going to york it's one of my favorite cities visit in the world i but i did not grow up i think a lot of people from new york have an admiration for him that is specific to new york and new yorkers in other words like when they're like oh it's a new witty allen film like i've seen witty allen films that i enjoy and i've seen ones like i don't think this is fucking worth i don't care i don't i don't go i admire this guy like the way that i hear people admire him um i was like it's kind of weird but that's not that you know there's a lot of artists that are weird uh i thought this story was gross and i thought the other stories that like his biological or said to be biological son has accused are horrific and people had it slide for like people were just like yeah yeah fine and then a few years ago it kind of became people were like no he's done but it also feels like it was quietly done it's like yeah i guess he's got to pay the price for this yeah like it's not really like this amplified voice of we're done with this guy it's like a quiet resignation of you know people keep saying you fuck the kid yeah what can you do it's like they're reluctantly doing i mean he's obviously he's an older man now he's got to be like 80 or something in his 80s yeah um and the late and the girl is like what 40 years younger 87 he's making movies up totally a couple years ago yeah i mean they stopped allowing him but he was making a movie a year for he's making a movie a year forever and he's got some of the most absolute classic classic yeah when you're from new york and you understand that sort of like jewish new york kind of neuroses and humor yeah it's like the best and it's like yeah i mean he's about as new york as it gets yeah and so when you're a new yorker there's just i have such a love for his movies and um so yeah sometimes that's a tough decision you know sure you know it's a tough decision but i mean he's like ronin has been adamant it's it's weird like when you have kids you realize like it's very weird for a kid to be adamant that you did something to them as they grow up that's completely made up yeah it's almost unheard of actually you know his daughter yeah right but he's but ronin has like pushed that he's like i know my father was doing this and he and then what he's like it's just made up and you're like yeah i don't know man there are conspiracies where people try to bring someone down it's a very strange one to do yeah i mean what i'm trying to say is like you usually should believe these types of things when people say them you know yes because why would they i mean there are occasions where you're going like all right like you can get to the circumstances but usually it's like if there's a strong accusation about something you're going like this person nobody gets famous that way nobody wants to be famous like nobody gets like a movie you know it's like you know it's uh so yeah you always got to get the benefit of the death of the lady yeah and then oh my god god it's so weird that it's a girl that he adopted that he ended up marrying but you're right it's a love story yeah well i think technically to be to get technical here i think um i'm not i'm not defending because right now it seems like we're being lawyers like bobby lee right yeah i think uh me and pharaoh adopted her right correct so they and they were girlfriend and boyfriend but he was like a father figure but so it technically wasn't his kid what's your favorite movie any hall yeah any hall um god crimes and misdemeanors is great match point it's not even great i love match point that was so good i love match point and because i'm always fascinated by you see this here's what's more impressive to do this in a feature than a series in tv series you get to build like a connection with a character over time right so it's like breaking bad over multiple seasons you get to know this character so well yes he's actually doing reprehensible things but you're like why am i celebrating you're cheering for him you wanted to win but you're getting seven seasons to build that goodwill in match point 90 minutes and you're like god i hope he gets away with killing you're like right it's crazy it's not he's not a good guy not at all you want you want that you want to win but it's like the storytelling you're like yeah you're like yeah yeah well you know i think maybe part of it too is because like you know how you said subconsciously we always size another guy i think deep down subconsciously we also every guy has that thing in our brain going like all right sometimes i feel like i want to murder my wife yeah if i did i'd love to get away with it sure so you're subconsciously rooting for him going like all right how did he do it and maybe if that happens i'd like to get away with it too and you're like i need to bounce my way yeah i need that ready because yeah that moment is great where it's just over there and also it's an anti-hollywood movie in that sense right because like hollywood studios would be like no make sure it bounces the other way like it's caught and goes to jail yeah and like there's something about you know mass audiences that go like oh good he was he was punished for his crime yeah but for the real satisfaction of being like no he got away with that the hollywood always has that certain other good guys always gotta win at the end yeah and this one the bad guy the bad guy gets away it's more realistic a lot of times bad guys do get away with it for a long time sometimes they never get caught it's like i love in mr ripley when matt damon you know he kills uh what's his name jude law and then he like tells the father this whole story he's like well i'll just keep paying you his you need some money yeah oh thank you yeah it's just like you see him get away with it and you're like mad people are sometimes like really charismatic and like really interesting and fun and yeah you know that's why like you never you like the boring mean guy you see coming that's why they don't get away with it yeah like if somebody comes in i'm here to murder everybody like that guy's gonna get caught but like the ones who pretend to be the opposite of what they are they get away with it which is which is why like they tell you the most dang like what's actually the scariest for the scariest person is not like mean it's that somebody who is so likable that does horrible things yes like and that's like in history you know these are like movies but in history you know like some of the most prolific killers and stuff they were like they had charm to them the most charm they came in the room people like i love this guy yeah and they had that side and they had their evil side that would kind of flip switch on but yeah that's actually who's terrifying and i actually i don't know any killers that i'm aware of but like i know people who i've discovered i'm like this is not a good person but i've told people about this you know i go so and so and i go here's the thing if you met him i go you'd love him you'd love him what do you mean i go it's one of the most charming guys you meet i go you'd be like when is when's he coming to dinner yeah well what they do is they like mirror you yeah which is and so they play on our weakness of flattery and like our ego yeah i'm fucking funny guys yeah so they somehow mirror you and like make you feel great and they have that superficial charm whatever so it like hits your blind spot of like your ego and then so you miss it yeah it's like ted bundy used to just like you know he's like the prototype guy i was watching defend himself and i'm like you guys didn't do it he didn't fucking do it he's great i want to hang out there's a thing uh on the bundy trial if you watch there's multiple docs about him but this is like when somebody only says someone can't get out of their own way i can't get so he's never gonna never had the skill set to actually really defend that case and win right but there's one point he puts the um the tech in Florida who came into the sorority house and discovered the bodies on the stand and then he asks him to describe the crime scene and then he's just enjoying him because he did it and he's like and then what'd you find? And the guy just and then the other lawyers are going like there was zero point to this other than him just enjoying and that's why he did it probably too yeah they're so premeditated it's so funny how like they're so premeditated they're like a step ahead and like it's all for them and all selfish but they make it seem something else he was brilliant like wasn't he the guy who did like the casting and he'd get you the Volkswagen and be like oh man I can't and then boom next thing you know your titties one of them one of them he did through a library which he was like I'm defending myself and this is another case I need access to the library and they were like sure so he would go up to the second floor look through legal and one day he just jumped out of that window but on one of his escapes it was either Utah or Colorado he went up through the vent that he had starved himself enough to actually fit into that that isn't you know that's why so many psychopaths are so successful they're unencumbered by emotion yeah CEOs they don't care about anything nothing right man so he's just focused on his own needs and wants he's like I'm just going to start off for too much when you see these articles in the news they're like so-and-so slashed 12,000 jobs and you know for share prices we're taking a dip and then they get that CEO and he's like it was a very tough decision to make but we have to keep moving forward he's just thinking about his bonus yeah you know I think you may need guys like that you do it's always going to be part of it I could never make that I'd be like oh what about Sally, her family and then my company would fail yeah no no you need people like that I mean there's different studies on this but we know for sure that when it comes to like high level you know CEO level stuff and political figures presidents, prime ministers there's a high propensity for that personality type and you know emotion like no remorse like you can run a company maybe really well they're probably the most free Americans sure like you know you're not shackled by anything they're totally free that's real freedom you know like just be able to kill a woman and just walk away and have a cigarette out and go out and practice I mean that's freedom imagine people to slash 12,000 jobs and then kick your feet up and like turn on ESPN yeah and not even like not a thought just completely free and then somebody like they ask you like oh how do you feel about that and you're like what and then they go no no it's like for the TV oh for TV oh yeah you know it's been and then you know it was really and my heart goes out and they're like all right yeah so just pretend you know yeah I think you know our business attracts psychopaths it's a perfect it's almost like if you wanted to train to be a dictator our profession is like you can sign up to learn dictator skills so many psychos on both sides of the owner the suits the suits too the suits and the performers I mean with the performers though don't you feel like I think it's easier now like we've been doing it 20 years when somebody's young and coming in you can like just look into their eyes and you see when they have that like I don't care about anything but my own progression in this I can see it like I spot it quicker now where they're not trying to connect or like you know they're just like when someone's like what can you do for me that's kind of like a telltale personality disorder thing where it's like I don't care about anything and then there's people that are in our peer group who I've known for years who have remained like I've known for 20 years and you're still what can you do for me and it's usually like a pretty good sign that that person is you know not on the level not a lot of empathy yeah not a lot of empathy I've been burned a few times so that instructed me I learned it you need to get burned it's instructive you learn what you need to learn but yeah some of them are tricky some of them you know so you gotta learn and hats off sometimes when you hear like a good scam even in like the news you go like hats off dude you pulled it off like Bernie Madoff you're like hats off Bernie Madoff hats off fascinating the most fascinating thing about Madoff is if you watch that latest one that one that Netflix just made it's so good but the craziest one the craziest detail in that because it answers questions that you always wonder that they just don't give you in like a quick news story is sometimes they would go into his like they'd show up and they're like this shit just didn't add up and he's like why don't you have a seat what do you need and these are the investigators that he knows he's like you know defrauding basically and then he's like what can I get you and they're like he instilled so much confidence in the way that he would just be like yeah no what else what other questions do you have that they'd go like yeah I guess this all adds up it was just him not being like panicked which is another thing that psychos the heart rate doesn't go like flutter and like oh my god am I in trouble they're like what's up this is what I'm living for they're stabbing with your pen and they're like looking at their iWatch like still have 57 heartbeats there's psychopath fighter pilots they're like that they really are and race car drivers they're like they're made like that but they're not evil you know they don't have to be evil to be a psycho so I think people miss absolutely a lot of people race car drivers a lot of like very dangerous jobs a lot of psychopaths yeah yeah because you're just oh it's a personality disorder and the thing is like if that person did something evil they wouldn't feel bad about it but they're not necessarily looking to do that and they're probably not doing it for selfish reasons but that's fine somebody needs to fly fighter jets somebody needs to yeah so hey buddy why don't you fucking gear up that great line catch me if you can from Leonardo Caprio's character when he says the Yankees always won because people were looking at the pinstripes they were too mystified by the pinstripes it's kind of that thing with Bernie Madoff he was so cool about it he was that mystique of confidence that you're just like I guess and I gotta tell you right now when you watch this thing and you hear the stories about you know he had the thing where he was like I just don't have room for and he had no soliciting in other words if you were like I want to invest my money with him he'd be like I have no room for you right all this shit would've worked on me would've worked on you and when I'm watching him if I sat down with this guy I'd be like wow this guy's the fucking man and like what an honor it is he used to be the chairman of NASDAQ and like I don't know how many boards and you know I mean it's like I would've just been like sir what should I do you know I would've been so respectful and if he would've said you know what Tommy I'll do your favor if you want to move your money over to me I'll be like oh my god we gotta send this money today at some point he was like yeah he was like chairman of the body that would be in charge of investigating I think SEC I think he actually worked there I know he was chairman of NASDAQ at one point and like he just had that you know that type of way that he just spoke so much confidence like you know the same way the investigators are like what should we do and he's just like what do you need and it's that thing too that he's aware of the blind spots in humans he was chairman of the NASDAQ in 1991 and he sat on the SEC advisory committee yeah yeah so those are the people who would investigate guys like him and he's like on the committee he's like Carl talk to Carl tell him how don't ask him how he's there yeah I mean he was so premeditated in placing himself there and just the blind spots he was aware of that like if he made himself an exclusive club like he couldn't get in then nobody would question it like that guy you can't even get in to see that guy so you know and also he knew the greed of people because when I was watching that back in there I was going like who's the real criminal here is it made off or is he just more of a reflection of people's greed because you could easily go you greedy little pig there's three big whales that you know they feature in the who basically they all knew what they knew was happening but they never spoke about it and even he was like we never spoke about it but he knows that they knew and they knew that they knew what he was doing and what we're saying is like these are people who were like when his pyramid scheme would like run dry he would just call up one of these guys and be like do you want to invest some more right now and they'd be like okay I'll send you 200 million dollars tomorrow but then when things would pick up they'd be like I want all my returns right now so he'd send them like 400 and they were like they were earning billions of dollars and they were just like oh yeah I just thought I was investing no you didn't you know exactly what you were doing you were part of it and Chase with that account where they just kind of look the other way the bank they're like ah we're just looking the other way there's all that money there exclusivity is so fascinating like that you're not allowed in I know of I can't say about a business where they're like yeah you can't get in you know you can't you're not allowed to buy one of these and all it makes people do is go like I want it more and then they're like well if you do there's a wait list there's a wait list for this particular thing and then the wait list just makes you oh my god it's more exclusive and this particular business that I learned about they've never advertised they're like we've never spent a dollar in advertising so they've only used that like that's it that mystique and it's spread it's spread amongst like very wealthy people and you know I just heard about this thing and I met somebody who works with us that's why I don't feel comfortable saying what it is but it's just an item like just an object you know like let's just say it's a watch it's not a watch but it's a watch and it's like if there's a watch company that's never advertised and then they're like oh yeah you can't have one people go what is it you know and then they're like just have a watch and then you go like well it's brilliant marketing I mean that is how do we take that marketing approach to what we do hey guys I'm putting out a special in 2029 buy tickets right now yeah but I'm only letting 300 people watch it only 300 lucky people tickets are $10,000 it'll be the best hour I mean it's just like I don't know how you yeah I'm trying to think how you do it I think it's marketing that only appeals to a certain segment also right because a lot of people go oh wait let's fuck off but I think it's when people are used to getting what they want that's what it is because wealthy people get what they want they're used to getting what they want the moment they want it all the time so when you give them you know the special like instructions of no no no not now later and also not you what do you mean not me I can afford it that doesn't matter I think that's why it really appeals to like for like luxury items and those people it doesn't appeal a lot of people would walk past that idea you know like I hate for instance I hate stores where you see people or even restaurants where there's like a line out so if there's an hour away I'm like no one time I did it in Philly where it wasn't the Gino's past thing it was another place my friend was from Philly and was like no no no if you want the real was it Angelos where you had to stand outside I don't know and so he's like this is the spot we're just waiting we're just waiting in the sun and then we go around the building and then the inside and so we finally get them and he's like I eat he's like what'd you think I go it's a fucking cheesesteak he goes wasn't that the best I go no good they're all pretty similar yeah I can taste it good I'm like I regret that I did this this wasn't worth it but that line makes other people go like I gotta get that line yeah yeah yeah yeah it's funny because I did that recently in Philly it was a place called Angelos and it was cold out they make you wait outside there's no place to wait inside and then we got the cheesesteak and there's also pizza there I think Dave Portnoy gave it it's the best pizza in Philly and then I had it and it was good but it wasn't two and a half hours good but I was so caught up and some guy was walking by watching us freezing eating slices outside and he's like man is it as good as they say and I'm like yeah it is because also I didn't want to look like a dick I didn't want to look like a dick freezing eating pizza with gloves on so I was like it is worth it man so I think that's part of it too because you don't want to be the dick who's having that honest moment I just wasted half my day I know I just met somebody who had 50 cars he has 50 cars that's a lot of cars and I go you know I ask him about this and I go oh is that like as like is that as awesome he's like cool drives good and I was like that's it like he has like this crazy collection I was like is there one that makes you and he was like no they all just you know the wanting is almost more than the getting it right I think so so what do you do like how do you when you achieve the thing you want and then you have that emptiness what do you do you just blow your brains out or I mean what do you do because it always happens everything becomes trite right you achieve a goal and you're like alright this is now you're getting into the good stuff here the good stuff is in the realization that you will never have fulfillment for material things right it's like here's the thing both extremes are too much in other words somebody who goes like I just crave things stuff you know that's what's like that you will always feel empty ignoring the fact that some things are fun and like they can bring joy to you like you shouldn't act like that's not true you can enjoy like clothes or a nice car yeah but it's not gonna complete you but getting I think to the point where you realize that is one level of it and then you have to realize well then how do I feel well it'll never be from consumption consumption of things is not gonna fulfill you you know drugs like you said a bullet in the head that stuff will at least put you out of your misery but but so that's the key well I mean because if you don't if you don't agree to do that then you have to do the hard work of actually looking inward that which sucks that sucks yes cocaine and bullets are way quicker than actually going oh what's happening inside of me I've gone through that now where I'm taking a peek under the hood and because you know when you have a daughter a two year old daughter and like something happened where I realized like going on the road because I had a heavy tour schedule recently and then I was like I had this new daughter and since COVID it was this break between like who I was before I had a kid because my kid was born during COVID and now who I am now with this kid with my daughter and like all I want to do is be with my daughter now and my parents weren't there because they were like trying to live the American dream and work like work their ass and I'm like am I being that same guy because my kid's not going to go dad you made so much money it's cool they're going to go you were fine they're going to go like you weren't there they don't give a shit you know everyone respects their like loves their parents whether they're a cop or a fighter they don't care time they respect time they respect time so now I'm going like what am I doing this for now right like I had this moment where I had like to sell that weekend where I went because I was hoping the tickets were sold if I'm having a great time then it's like alright I like that obviously I know I need to make the money for the family the more money the better but I'm starting to go like where's the fun I want to have a good time and I want to get home to my daughter God this made me so uncomfortable this is all the stuff I try to avoid talking about it's tough man it's tough taking a peek taking a peek is not good you know what it's looking sausage how it's made why do I do what I do who am I why is this I'm going to have to edit out this clip and send it to my therapist it's tough yeah I got three right now I got a team I got teamwork I'm proactive I got the guy I've been with forever and I wanted another opinion I wanted someone else does the first guy know about the other guy no it's a secret I thought I'm not doing this I thought I'm not doing this I don't know how to bring it up I feel best like a barber it's like when you cheat on a barber like I don't know yeah I can't it's the one thing I haven't told now thousands and thousands of millions of people know I hope what if this is now he finds out what if this is now he finds out that would be fucking hilarious he's like I'm actually a huge Two Bears fan I watch Two Bears every week what the fuck man you cheating on me and it was number three one time I did a session back to back I had her I just went I went second video dude okay how similar are there it's one One of them is a guy, and I intentionally wanted a female. I wanted, like, more nurturing, empathetic look. Because a guy therapist would be like, come on, get your shit together.
Fucking, you know. And I got a lot of mom issues. So I was like, I need a woman, too. I need, like, you know, two people.
And then I got a third. I got a psychiatrist. What, check in with what's going on. No, but he just throws pills at you.
I love that guy. The guy and girl, like, number one and number two, do they align? Or is it, like, is it very, like, oh, shit, this guy's saying this, and she's saying that? Like, is it, you know what I mean?
Is it, like, pretty similar feedback, or is it wildly different? They align more, and I, you know, I got two, man. Dude, I highly recommend it. Really?
I highly recommend it. Yeah. It's been great. I always want sessions to go longer.
Yeah. And you always go, like, let's do this again. Let's do this again. I hate when they cut you off and you're not finished.
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. You see their eyes dart? Yeah.
To the clock. It's almost like when a girl sucks your dick and she stops. And then you leave, like, with Blue Ball. You're like, I was about to cry.
And now you got time's up. I was almost there. It's, like, right here. Right here.
Yeah, you got to go talk to someone else. Oh, my God. But you don't have the problem, because you can go talk to someone another way. She also responds to, like, tax and stuff like that.
Really? Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Well, I'm going through, like, that.
Sorry, I'm going through this. Now, I'm going, like, looking under the hood and having kids. And I got a second one on the way. Congrats on that.
Thank you. You know what you're having? Another girl. Wow, yeah, just, you know.
Girl dad. That's the name of my tour. Girl dad. Because a lot of the jokes are just about, like, having girls.
And, yeah, dude, I've never loved it. It's, like, it's brought back everything. Like, I built this personality based on the walls that I created to sort of not peek under the hood. Sure, of course.
And then now, what my therapist tells me, I'm in such a good place now. And I've built, like, a loving family. And now, my brain is sort of like a protection organism. Totally.
And then my brain's like, okay, now you're in a good enough place now where you can deal with it now. And you come back, I don't want to, but your brain just goes, here it is. Here it is. You have to do this now in order to become a better person so you can, it's like evolution happening.
And how about the universe? You volunteering, you're like, I have a lot of issues with my mother, and then the world just gave you two little books. Yeah, so here's more of that. Here's more of that.
You deal with it. Yes, yes. So it's a lot of that. Also, I was shot, and I have trauma from that.
You just got buried. I forget that. I derailed my whole shit. Especially since I was, like, I had trauma from a kid, and then when I got shot, that triggered that.
When were you shot? 2001, when I first started doing comedy. Where? It was outside a nightclub in New York City.
Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah, 2001. Was it?
May 2001. A straight? No, no, it was an intentional robbery. I was with my, so an old friend of mine was a party promoter.
I used to work there when I started doing comedy, and he would carry a lot of money on him, cash, to the car. So we had a security guy walk with us up to his car, but it was a set-up robbery. It was a set-up? It had to be.
From the security guy? No, no. We don't think so. No, not him.
I actually still know that dude. No, not him. So, but we don't know exactly what happened, but the guy, he ended up doing 10 years and went to prison and everything like that, and I had to testify that the trial was brutal. But it was, you know, he was probably, was it one guy?
One guy. It was one guy, so I was getting in the passenger side of the car, right? And I just kind of looked over my shoulder, and I saw him coming, saw the gun, and mask on, like a full, you know, like the eyes and the fucking ski mask. So I just made the decision to try to get in the car quick and close the door.
I don't know why. Like, I didn't, I didn't have money. I mean, he had the money. It wasn't right with me, but I just decided to stay there.
And I tried to get in, so he saw me, see him, and he kind of sped up, and like ran, like sped up, and like, as I was closing the door, he like fell in, he beat me to close the door, and so I kind of fell into the car, and it was like a Jeep. It was a Cherokee on me. And so I saw the gun in his hand, and I just grabbed his hand, and like, get away, it was just an instant. And then I pushed it down, and he fired, and I got shot right here in the inner, right close to the penis.
Yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah. So your inner thigh?
Inner thigh. And the bullet traveled up to my butt and stayed there for a while. Because if a foreign object is in your body, your body will slowly be trying to get out. So it was just like, it's too deep in there eventually, and it did.
It would push, like I played basketball, and I would feel it, like ripping tissue slowly, and it would come to the surface, and then eventually a surgeon took it out. Which was a funny thing, when the surgeon took it out, I guess they gave me the nurse in the surgeon's face. And this is what could have gone through your dick. It could have gone through my dick.
And the cops were assholes about it when I was in there. Like if you had a bigger dick? Yeah, like, yeah, if your dick was a little bigger, it would be a problem. You know, you're in trouble, man.
And dude, they treat, when they're trying to get information, they fuck, they, like, I was like a victim of a crime, right? Oh, yeah. And they come in, like, so what's going on here? You know, how you doing?
This is Sergeant O'Hanlon. This is Murphy. We talked to a guy, and he says, if he would have did what he did to me, to you, you would have done the same thing. So what is this?
There's some sort of beef between you guys. He was, like, trying to get me to. What? Because usually when someone gets shot, it's not like they didn't do something.
Right. So, and cops would just do that. They'll lie to see if you say something. And I was like, what are you talking about, man?
And I was, like, actually hurt by it. And I was like, I understand why women might get, like, a little, you know, if they're, like, victims of a crime. Like, so what were you wearing? You know, O'Hanlon, this is Murphy.
So what are you doing at a 2 in the morning? You parents? You just dancing in the university? Yeah, but you kind of.
You like it, right? You drinking? They don't want to do paperwork. You know, they fucking.
Like, this isn't really a thing, right? It's not a thing, right? Can we make this go away? Because we want to go home.
Holy shit. So how do they get that you're not, this is going to be pretty quickly, though? Kind of, yeah. I mean, I think they kind of did.
They weren't, like. You at the hospital? I was at the hospital. They came over to my, like, bed and, like, were interviewing me.
Jesus Christ. Yeah, and there was a hot doctor there on call. Yeah. And because the shot was, like, there's a major artery that runs through your leg.
So they also wanted to make sure, like, nothing was, like, my anus tube was. I don't know. So she went up. She was hot, too.
And, like, she shot. Yeah, and she, like, went and checked. I was feeling around to make sure there was no damage. Yeah.
And that was not great. No, no, no. A little great. A little weird way.
I was feeling opposite. How did this guy get caught? He, so, the shot happened. The cops, this was, like, a bad nightclub.
There was, like, a lot of gangsters with this nightclub. This club was called Envy. Did he get the money? I forgot that part.
He did not get the money. So he shot me and ran. Right, right. And it's amazing because, like, I was so common aware in that moment.
So I was, like, common aware. It's really weird. Pain? Are you feeling real pain?
No, it burns. But it's a delayed reaction. Yeah, the adrenaline takes care of you. You don't feel a fucking thing.
It's a later that's hot. It was hot. And it's just a neat little round hole. My blood, like, dripping out of it.
Sure. And I didn't know where I was shot. I was, like, looking for it. And the way I realized was the blood running down my leg.
And, yeah, so I was so aware. I pretended to be more hurt than I was, even though I didn't know if I was hurt or not, which is weird. I guess I was still. Because he was, like, you just feel, like, completely, you know, vulnerable.
You're, like, all right, you got me. You got a gun. So, like, the loud noise, loudest noise I ever heard. I smelled the gunpowder.
And then I just kind of went limp. So, like, I wanted to pretend, like, I was hurt more than I was so he would stop. Right? And so that's what I did.
And I just kind of went limp and fell on the ground. I almost played dead. Yeah. And then he ran away.
The cops were close by because they were always watching that club. Because it was such a problematic club. Jesus. So they heard the shot.
Other people, you know, were still on the street. They chased him down. They found him. Oh, right then.
They got him. They got him. They got the gun. He was done.
He did. Yeah, he was done. Ten years. Yeah.
Yeah. Do you remember calling your parents to tell them? I remember calling my mother. And she came with her sister.
And this is actually, I hope I don't cry here. Because I remember, like, now she came. She came to the, I was with my girlfriend at the time who was an ADA. She was an assistant district attorney for men.
So she actually knew. She actually knew the woman who handled my case. And I was there. And then my mom and her aunt came.
And, like, they came, checked me out. And they were like, we have some relatives in Greece. We have to go to dinner. And they just, like, she kept her schedule.
She probably said, look, we're still doing dinner. I just got to go stop. My son got shot. And I got to just go stop at the hospital and say hello to him.
Check in. You good? Okay. Well, we got dinner.
My mother went and ate dinner. She didn't cancel her fucking plans. Yeah. I know.
You know what's going on. You know now why I stand on a wood plate and get paid chicken fingers for ten years. I know why you do stand on a wood plate. Holy shit.
Yeah. And did your girlfriend? She stayed. She stayed.
Yeah. I thought we cheated on her and took her for a minute. Yeah. She was there.
She fucking waited on me while I was, yeah, whatever. A couple days I was healing. I was like, all right, we fuck some of my women. Some of them deserve it.
It depends on what they said. Holy shit. So, how long, just, I'm just going to get this whole thing. So, he didn't get the money.
He got caught immediately. He did ten years. He had priors. Yeah, he got priors.
He had priors. Yeah. I don't really remember too much, but yeah. He got caught.
He went to try. Pleaded not guilty. He got convicted. He pleaded not guilty.
He pleaded not guilty. What was the defense? I don't know. It wasn't him or something like that.
Oh, really? And what was it like testifying? I hated it. I really didn't want to, like, you know, but.
They asked you to. Yeah, he asked me to. It was just brutal. It was like fucking.
When you get cross-examined, it's just like, you know. But I was honest. Yeah, I was honest. Well, what could you get?
I mean, you're a victim of a shooting. What are you getting cross-? Like, what were you wearing? Yeah, it was all about the ID.
Like, so I was just honest. Because I could not see him. So, it wasn't. I was just honest.
I said, I couldn't. I was like, he had a mask on. I couldn't see him. And, you know, I was like, they had clothes.
And they're like, yeah, I reckon. I was just honest. Yeah. I think my friend was kind of like, that's him.
My friend just went all out. But he got tackled, like, on the way out of there, right? Who did? The shooter didn't get tackled.
No, no, he didn't get tackled. I thought you said that they caught him. They caught him hiding in some bushes. Oh, that's what I'm saying.
But so they got him, like, in the immediate aftermath. They got him in the immediate aftermath. He's like, I was just looking for shit in the bushes. You guys are the man, man?
I love squirrels and shit. I lost a contact at 2.30 in the morning. He was like, well, we also found a gun. Because he hid the gun, I remember, under, like, a car.