Would You Trust Your Masseuse With Your Life

Massages, self‑care… serial killers? This week on Rockin’ on the Porch, Mishi and Giggles start with dairy‑farm nostalgia, being the human TV remote, and eating pizza with a knife and fork, then realize how much blind trust we hand over to “wellness” people every day.​We ask whether a masseuse would be the perfect cover for an assassin, talk about pressure points that can move blood clots and cause strokes, and wonder how many red flags we ignore just because we want our backs fixed and our shoulders loose. We also improvise a completely unhinged QVC‑style ad for a hand‑crank vibrator and wine condoms, debate a Florida woman who flushed her emotional‑support hamster at the airport, and roast a dating profile from Eli, a sweet ginger who might be more into Sunday fundays than we are.00:00 Barn Noise Sleep07:32 One Minute Ad Skit13:17 Florida Or Fiction18:27 Self Care Gone Wrong42:48 Dating Profile Breakdown Eli51:11 Sign Off And Inside Jokes