熊叔教你撩汉撩妹

主播：雄叔地点：上海跟着雄叔读， get 撩汉，撩妹大法：I hate you. Wow, not really. I hate when you are not here with me. 我讨厌没有你的日子Fuck Valentine’s Day, I love you every single day. 去他妈的情人节，老子每天都爱你February 14 To Do List: You. 2月14日待办事项：你I’m so glad you’re as weird as me. Poop.我太开心了，因为你和我一样蛇精病, 我亲爱的狗屎蛋You’re the one. I text when I’m drunk. That’s love.你就是我的唯一, 唯一我喝醉的时候会发信息的, 这就是爱。I love you more than this. You know what this is. This is an iPhone. 我爱你，比这还多, 这可是个iPhoneYou are the reason I get up in the morning…Just kidding….I have to pee. 每天叫醒我的不是梦想，是你逗你的，叫醒我的是尿意Loving you is like having diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in!爱你就像腹泻根本停不下来I knew I loved you.When I farted, and you didn’t run away. 在这一刻我知道自己深爱你因为我放屁的时候你竟然没有跑开I’m still not sick of you. 和你在一起很久了，可我还没开始讨厌你US. Because everyone else sucks. 只能我们在一起其他人都太糟心了I’m thinking of you, but not in a creepy way.I’ve only driven past your house like once. It’s not like I picture your face all the time or anything, Okay, so maybe I’ve been thinking of you in like a marginally creepy way. Oh my god, why am I telling you this? Never mind. I’m totally not thinking of you at all. 我一直在想你，但也没有特别想我只开车绕你家了一圈，我也没有一直在想你的脸好吧我承认自己也许想你想得有些过分哦苍天大地我跟你说这个干嘛？！没事没事，我一点都没有在想你I’m willing to tolerate you forever. 我忍你，一辈子！I hope your day is as nice as your butt. 我希望你今天过得很棒,就像你的翘臀一样棒I’d let you see my browser history. 我都可以让你看我的浏览记录,你说我有多爱你You treat me like a unicore even when I’m an ass. 有时候我是个蠢驴但你还把我当做珍贵的独角兽….关注微信公众号：为你读英语美文，获得完整图文资料主播，制作：雄叔|编辑: 永清文字及垫乐归作者或版权方所有图片源于网络微信公众号：为你读英语美文官方新浪微博：@为你读英语美文