You Are Good Enough }|{ Cont.

(Just a heads up this post is linked to the previous post for context)And so would you believe I made a decision and once again the weight of the world dropped from my shoulders. Deciding not to go and if i’m honest it wasn’t like I had a choice because my body/mind just could not muster the energy it would have required to move. That’s OK. I often found myself in positions where I had to, where no one listened or cared whether I could or not and because I look fine, seem fine, I had been high functioning, there was never any consideration to when I couldn’t and I would, too, push myself based on what was expected of me so much so, I still struggle to be honest with myself now when the simple answer is I don’t want to. I don’t want to, paired with PMS/PMDD and it’s a strike. What I love about this is being able to have the time to reflect on how hard I can be on myself, how I have a tendency to make myself feel bad as though I do not feel bad enough and that in some way, makes my need for rest more acceptable. I actually dispise this but through writing the first piece this rising and getting all my thoughts out of my head, the moment I became comfortable with my decision and stopped trying to talk myself into doing, is the moment I felt at ease. That doesn’t make me lazy or undeserving, that doesn’t mean I don’t do enough and need to push myself harder in fact on the contrary, as I have been working hard on myself for years especially when it comes to doing the internal work, if anything, the moment I find myself in is the perfect moment to put all the spinning plates down. This serves as a reminder I do not have to be a version I have been in order to survive and that what I learnt through surviving hopefully I can begin to release. And that starts with trusting myself and listening to myself I do know how important it is to rest and I thoroughly enjoy resting so I can release any guilt that comes with that.Learning to put me first is very important - my biggest lesson on Self Love to date. I also recognise there is a huge difference in taking yourself away from situations and actually putting yourself first. I understand that to keep myself safe, I have to take myself away from things that do not honour my peace or safety and now I get to choose me. It’s perfectly valid to feel the sadness that comes with not having the things considered normal in society, that are often taken for granted by those who have and its important to remember that you have to manage that because people don’t know or do know and forget. We are all operating on different timelines and have very different life experiences and I am just soul greatful to use these moments of anguish to continue to work on myself. I take pride in unlearning what no longer serves me and I love the opportunity to write it out because it truly does make a difference hearing yourself aloud. Today I made the right choice for me and there is no one to scold me for that unless I take to scolding myself and that I know, is unkind. This serves as a very important reminder of why it’s so important to love yourself, you maybe strong and brilliant but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all. In fact, I am learning the importance of being selective with strength and brilliance for not all souls are kind and know how to deal well with these characteristics. How did you get on with your day? I hope you gave yourself the time you needed, if you needed to weather your mental terrain and rest if you were called too or that whatever you chose to do it was soul nourishing.Taking the time to rest and feel through the times of our cycle is important and powerful, give yourself permission to stay connected to who you are.The sun has set here, it’s such a magical time.Until next time,Sending light and love, ALWAYS xAnd remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore Get full access to S e l f l o v e l o v e s e l f 3 6 5 at selfloveloveself365.substack.com/subscribe