"You are NOT the worst thing you've ever done!" with Lefford Fate EP: 9

Today, Laura dives deep into a conversation about navigating transitions, understanding mental health, and exploring other perspectives with Retired Command Chief Master Sergeant, USAF, Lefford Fate. Laura and Lefford first met when both were serving on the Presidential Advisory Council of the John Maxwell Team, and the two have shared numerous interesting and meaningful conversations over the years.  When Laura asks Lefford to tell the story of how he ended up in prison, Lefford jumps right in, but quickly steps back to offer a little perspective. As a young man in the US Air Force, working in the mental health field already, he explained how he nearly lost himself when his mom passed away at the very young age of 49. He was able to get the help and support he needed to grieve and go through his loss but found himself in a similar place years later when his father passed. His Commanding Officer, a Psychiatrist, acknowledged all Lefford was going through and asked if he needed help, and Lefford was afraid to admit that he did; the stigma of any type of mental illness was strong then and persists today.  After he retired from the Air Force, Lefford recounts how he was working in a Geriatric Mental Health Facility in Sumter, SC, when he received a call from the Corrections System to come do some work in the prisons. He says he quickly realized he had no idea what was going on… inmates were dying at an alarming rate and many of them were mentally ill.   He tells the story of a particular inmate who was in prison as a result of having been taken advantage of by others who recognized his mental deficiency (he was in his 30's but with the intellectual capacity of a 9-year old, not really able to understand that what they were telling him to do was wrong, nor aware of the consequences of his actions). This young man's condition was deplorable, and he'd not had his medication for some time. This experience was heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and shocking, and it set Lefford on a path toward understanding why things were the way they were and what could be done to make change.    As they discuss the current state of mental health, resiliency, and suicide rates, Laura and Lefford make a few shifts in the course of their conversation, digging into potential causes – fear of being ostracized, ridiculed, excluded or labeled as "less-than," resistance to being or feeling vulnerable, and the unknown of what may come next if you tell the truth about how you're feeling or your mental state.  They consider the idea of shifting perspective and language toward building 'mental wealth,' similarly to how we now think about focus on one's overall physical health with a view toward prevention and maintenance. Lefford shares some insight gleaned through Malcolm Gladwell's research for his bestseller, Blink, which explains how we instantaneously and subconsciously make assessments about situations we find ourselves in and react to. This makes sense from a first-responder perspective, when you may not know what you're really walking into… but there is training available to help our first responders have a clearer perspective and make better situational decisions.  Moving on to the idea of "no one is the worst thing they've ever done," Lefford and Laura share stories and discuss the need for grace, compassion, and thinking into the potential consequences of one's actions is an invaluable practice, and one we need to be helping our young people learn. Lefford introduces the concept of getting in front of things – more thinking on the front end before acting – rather than playing catch-up and trying to fix things after the fact.  Lefford shares his belief that every single one of us is in some form of transition at any given moment and we each need some grace, some compassion, and some mercy. He encourages Laura – and listeners – to be helpful and ask for help when you need it. One in five (1:5) people struggle with mental illness and 2-3 of them are under some major stress right now – regardless of age, race, culture, religion, income or wealth – and we have to shift our perspective on how we see, interpret, and handle these issues if we want to change what's going on in the world.  As they close their conversation, Lefford shares a recent insight he learned from Motivational Speaker and Teacher, Bo Eason, who says "we are afraid of being great – of allowing ourselves to claim we want to be the best in the world at ____________ (fill in the blank with your heart's desire)." Laura explains her belief about fear of vulnerability and how she is working to teach the concept of Confident Vulnerability and uses a tool she's developed called Your Unique Lens.  About Lefford Fate  Professionally, Command Chief Master Sergeant (Ret) Fate has led, mentored, and served thousands of military members and their families. He spent nearly 31 years in the US Air Force. Lefford served as Command Chief for the 20th Fighter Wing at Shaw Air Force Base in Sumter, SC, as the lead advisor and mentor for 5,000 personnel in 19 squadrons and tenant units operating at 85 F-16 planes. Prior to that post, he served as the Command Chief for the 505th Command and Control Wing in Hulbert Field, Florida. He is a past recipient of the Meritorious Service Medal with 4 devices, the Air Force Commendation Medal with 1 device, the Air Force Achievement Medal/ Meritorious Unit Award, the USAF Outstanding Unit Award with Valor and 6 devices, the Air Force Recognition Ribbon/Numerous Campaign Medals for service in Southwest Asia and Global War on Terrorism, the SNCO of the Year, and the Mental Health SNCO of the Year (Europe). Since retiring from the military, he was the program director for a geriatric mental health program, Director for Health Services for the SC Department of Corrections and is currently the Director, Support Services City of Sumter. He is a best-selling Author who co-authored a book called Success Starts Today with Jack Canfield, and Pathways to a Positive Mental Attitude with Don Green. His TEDx Charleston (SC) talk on Correcting Corrections has over 500,000 views. With all those accolades, he says his greatest accomplishments are being a husband, father, and grandfather.     www.leffordfate.com  https://www.facebook.com/lefford.fate