You Can’t Lead Others If You Can’t Lead Yourself | Mary Howe | #92

Leadership starts long before anyone follows you.Most of us are taught how to lead others. Very few of us are taught how to lead ourselves.In this episode of The Lonely Chapter, Sam sits down with Mary Howe, former US Air Force AC-130 crew member and nurse, to explore self-leadership, resilience, identity and what it really means to take responsibility for your own growth.Mary shares how growing up in a military family shaped her understanding of strength, service and identity. We discuss joining the Air Force at 18, the structure and purpose she found in high-performance environments, and what happens when that structure disappears.We unpack the military concept of the debrief: stepping back from your experiences, extracting lessons, and re-entering with clarity. Mary explains how this practice can help you navigate burnout, setbacks and identity shifts.This conversation also explores harsh self-talk, societal expectations, resilience, personal responsibility, and why many of us demand more from ourselves than we would ever ask of someone we love.Connect with MarySubstack: https://marykatherinehowe.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/_mary.katherinehowe/