You Don't Need Permission to Want More: Trish Mallabar on Choosing a Different Kind of Life

What if the life you've been quietly craving has been waiting for you to simply say yes? This episode is for anyone who's ever stood at the edge of something unfamiliar and wondered whether it was too late to step through. Trish Mallabar spent more than three decades as a teacher — and like so many women who pour themselves into a vocation, she arrived at midlife not quite sure who she was without it. This conversation begins there, in that tender and disorienting space between a life well-lived and one still unfolding.What follows is a rich, unhurried conversation about burnout, the slow erosion of identity, and what it actually feels like to walk away from something that defined you. Trish speaks with honesty about perimenopause, the weight of a system that asked too much, and the moment she realised she needed to choose herself.But this episode isn't about loss. It's about what opens up when you create enough space to let life surprise you — strangers who appear at just the right moment, the pull of ancestry, the unexpected comfort of aged care work, and the quiet joy of birdwatching at Lake Weyba on Mother's Day.Trish and Margit share a warmth and history that makes this conversation feel less like an interview and more like two women sitting together with a cup of tea, being honest about the things that matter most. In this episode, we explore:What it costs to build your identity around a vocation and what it takes to let it goThe relationship between burnout, perimenopause and finally saying enoughHow slowing down on the road opened something up that rushing never couldThe strangers who appeared at exactly the right momentWhat ancestral connection feels like in your body, even across a language barrierWhy midlife might actually be the best time to discover something completely new9:40 – When your identity is 95% your job  and then the job changes11:42 – Perimenopause, teaching and the slow unravelling of something that once felt solid16:21 – Why they said yes to six months in North America and what came home with them24:22 – What travel teaches you that no classroom ever could27:02 – The boy in Sarajevo, the waiter in Amsterdam and the gentleman in Slovenia when the universe shows up in human form39:19 – Standing in Denmark, feeling the pull of ancestry and the people who came beforeTrish Malabar is a former teacher of 32 years who now works in aged care, bringing the same curiosity and warmth to both chapters of her working life. She has lived and worked across Australia, from the Northern Territory to the Sunshine Coast, and has spent extended periods travelling through North America and Europe with her husband Dave. Trish belongs in this conversation because she knows what it means to rebuild a sense of self in midlife — thoughtfully, honestly and without rushing toward easy answers.