Make sure you always say that that's just that one thing they can slip We're getting better. I'm not yeah, me either, but we're trying Keep talking about a fan never shows up talk talk it's all there's no walk That was nice. That was it. It honestly was it was not you're a good singer.
Yeah Keep spinning it. I'll go for it. Yeah, you got it. Is this okay?
This is good, right? Yeah, can you hear yourself? I can it's not too loud Unfortunately, I can't know it's not too loud. You got to talk more positive about yourself.
Okay, you're right though No, you are not working on it. You caught my thing. You caught my yeah talking myself. You're right.
I tried out to custom I'd say the YouTube doesn't like it. Oh, we're on YouTube. Okay. Okay, that's fine.
No, it's behind a skate deck now Okay, don't say F. Don't say F. You get the point. That's even better because then you want to say the full word Yeah, okay, so unfair because I watched 30 seconds of your podcast and you just let it rip with such reckless abandon in a way that we are Totally unload.
Yeah, well, which is why nothing that I do on YouTube can ever get monetized. All right, you might want to look into that Well, I mean, you know, we can't with the content that I do it's just like yeah Yeah, me too. Bye. You know got to say bye to that one.
I think we have some similarities Yeah, we probably do judging by the way that we both look yeah, I sort of thing I don't have an education so everything I know is from TikTok. Yeah, so it's probably not true So I gotta say that first before I say anything, but if you have a lot of tattoos you're damaged I mean, I don't even think you need to talk to tell you that right and you just tell TikTok makes it official. It does make it official. You're right.
You're right. You see those aliens. No, I did the Miami ones No, I heard everybody talking about it. I didn't want to know people.
They're not even aliens. Apparently they're shadow people ain't no Ain't no freakin way nice Well, you don't believe it Okay, you know I lied immediately when you said did you see him? I saw clip yeah, right? Well, it didn't look like anything we talk about this we joined shadow panetic three-jide.
That's all one thing I know you're the Jake video in the mall where a portal opens portal from another dimension think about that guy from Blink-182 that said aliens are from another dimension. Yes, I'm the one great guy But I remember people go that guy's lost it now after the mall in Miami has he lost it? Has he yeah, I think time to long I never thought I'd be saying this he's already been fully vindicated Yeah, like you can whether or not he's gonna go all the way improve aliens exist we can now With a straight face say there was a guy who's a lead singer one of the most successful bands He quit to dump tens of millions of dollars into searching for aliens and I say his ankle and it's Already there with him. It was good for any or it's he's real or it's true So it's one of the other he paid money to know he started some like organization to search for the truth Like I think there's some wreckage from somewhere that like his organization personally purchased for like 3.6 million dollars Oh, he was on Joe Rogan talking about it wasn't he I don't know about that, but I'm sure that makes sense Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm talking to Steve all about it. Okay. Well, Steve was a little you know less You know Talk to about that smart guy yeah Joe Rogan does like aliens. Joe Rogan is really really well Misinformation Both you're right, but I saw my only thing was they're very wobbly and the videos are always blurry See that's a thing, but then they said that when the portal opened the power went out and people's phones didn't work You're not going to come on.
I mean it's like it's a big shit. It's like big stuff But they're like we said blurry pictures. I guess not it's not big. It's a bear the very fact that something always just so happens to go wrong Right right in of itself proof that this is we're all seeing what we what we wish to believe yeah It's not what is that I don't know what I believe see I don't even think you're talking about that one cuz I saw a different alien video today Shout out what in the clouds the jellyfish one what they are popping up.
Everybody is great everybody It's like aliens and celebrity grapeers. Oh great, right? You got it, right? Are the aliens great thing no no I said to them at the same time celebrity with celebrities are yeah and Aliens are just hanging out in the mall looking for sneakers.
Okay. Yeah, yeah one guy cuz now there's people saying bro I hope somebody doesn't delete this video, but seriously bro I was there and I saw him and then there's like a few other guys I was there with my knees behind sneakers and then bro I see them and I thought people say man Why did you film and I was like because I was scared? Oh me am I pretty document if it's a shadow man came out the mall would that be the first thing you would do yeah? Oh Kind of like five years ago now.
Yeah, like daughter such a self on fire. I instinctively reach for my phone Yeah, if a guy was running at me with an idea, I know I'm gonna do it Yeah, I'm gonna say I'm more of a I'm gonna save everybody So I'm like if it hits the fan like I don't like it when somebody punches a person in the train and everybody films it Yeah, I stopped a person from punching the person in the train so I'm like, hey man, that's not fair But if it's a ten-foot shadow guy with two other friends, maybe I pull out my phone. That's about you can't win I mean, I got a bad feeling about this one Michael. Yeah, but still you're saying you're a hero is what you're saying I want to be okay.
Yeah. Yeah. I want to be cuz like once I've done some stuff where I save some people But it was like how it was like work What have you done? one time an old man got blown over in the wind and Nobody helped him and I ran across traffic and picked up the old man and then one time a drunk guy was talking real mean stuff to this lady in a Train I feel like you're lying I'm not lying a little old man was blown over in the wind It was really old it was really windy and he was walking up the street and made of paper Who takes up this kind of story as their hero origin?
He lost his he lost his foot he went down hard to hard He wants to get it get up and I helped him up and I helped him to his apartment to the like we call him Commission Flats What do you call him here projects? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, okay, and you brought him all the way up to it. Anybody film it?
No Well before you know phones. I'm old they've always gone excuse that sounds pretty didn't happen Yeah, but one time a guy was talking real means of this lady over again and over again And nobody was doing anything and this would have been a time where if we had phones everybody would have started filming But instead we did nothing and then I saw a tear come out of the lady's eye and I was like right That's it and I hit him in the head with my skateboard and I really heard him And then everybody said you should probably get out at the next stop and we'll take care of it You knock him out. Oh, yeah, at least yeah Yeah, you are a hero a little bit and with the singing and being a hero. Yeah, is that do I triple threat?
Right, well, I guess it's only double what else what other heroic oh no what dance yeah? Yeah, I mean I'll cut up rug, but I don't know if you would call it good. That's okay. Yeah, I can dance Okay, but my salsa coach says it's pretty bad I feel like you're just making up lies.
No, you know, I speak facts About saving frail old men and taking salsa dancing lessons. Thank you Michael. Yeah, is that one to break about? Yeah, I don't know I don't know they're like easy lies You're like with liars on the top because I'm very gullible Are you gullible so go I think you are because you call everyone alive?
They say that's all goable and those that I believed too many lies, so now I'm like everything's a lie I gotta learn that everything's alive mix. I'm like this. I believed it. I've been what's the word I can say that's not cussing I have been Bushwack dirty there we go Bushwack and done dirty At the point we know it's a bad one He's a guy the blime I was in a golf cart in Mexico the other day and they got a special kind of record in Mexico and ran across in front of the Golf cart and it was a guy that the hotel was driving the golf cart and I go oh What are they and he goes to cover up and I was like no, and then I was like wait Yeah, and then he started laughing I was like man.
I was a good one you got me. Yeah, I believe that he laughed and laughed and laughed Like he kind of laughed a little too long quite frankly. I was like it's funny. Yeah, okay.
Yeah, okay Seriously, dude, you know what enjoy your day. I feel like I made that guy's day like he went home I was like man white people so he's bringing out all his friends and he's like I believe I had a comment That's their drop airs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz I made up drop is here. Go here's a story that I made up Oh, I did so you made up the drop there.
Yes, I did I was the first person to bring it here when it came back around to me I could not believe it Someone was like do so have you seen drop airs and I was like you mean koalas that have rabies to fall out of trees and like Scratch people's faces and sometimes kill people and he was like yeah, and I'm like I made that up I made that up to get laid It worked. Oh, yeah, this is back when Mick Dundee first hit the scene in America And this is when I came to America that is the crocodile hunter the one in the movie not the real one Not not the Australian one. He's Australian Paul Hogan is no That'll buy you don't know the crocodile Dundee is oh crock Dundee. Yeah, okay.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Okay, Mick Dundee Okay, Mick Dundee. Okay, I'm a Shaya.
No, he and Jason run first name faces obviously Yeah, I'm from Jake's grew up together AC DC Mick Dundee and Jase were you know, we lived on the same block Cool, sure share a trip barbie at one point. Yes, Michael. We did share one trip on a barbie We never left our doors over because can't go is with stampede and trash the house That's such a wild thing. Is that actually no, is that true?
No, I'm lying. No, are you lying? No? Are you lying?
Yeah? Fully so they don't fully lying, but I did it good tonight Yeah, but the other ones are I save the old man and killed that guy to train I swear ass miles. Hey miles remember when that one guy was being all creepy at the airport He did was I do that was I gonna kill that guy he almost killed 80 like 80 was like 65 guy out of his mind in the airport He offered miles my dear friend who's only 24. It's cute guy.
He's like hey you want some candy and I was like Seriously, no, no, no, no, no, no this guy leans over. He's clearly out of his mind, but yes very creepy I agree with that he leans over he's like do you want candy and I'm like no and in my mind? I don't think Jason's watching it, but in my mind I'm like that was creepy and Jason just out loud in the terminal goes that was creepy as hell like what the yeah And then I'd mad dog them. Do you think there was fun?
Oh, no, no, no, I think that he I've people have done stuff to me So I'm pretty quick to go on that one. Yeah, and he was he triggered me by saying hey, do you want some candy to a young kid? I don't know 24. You're not like Did you say that this was in an airport?
How do you snuck his band through TSA people have tried to do stuff to me any airport really? I was at a in a stall and I go to I'm on the on the ball And I go to get the toilet paper and a hand comes out from under the toilet paper and goes because I'm a little bit gay I've done some gay stuff. I'm like pretty flexible. Yeah, so I know those places They're never at the airport and this was Las Vegas airport and a hand came over and was like doing that as in put your Wiener in my hand.
Yeah, and I was like what and like lean back and then I had to finish and then when I got out He had already run off because I was gonna be a defender why we ejaculating Oh, yeah, no, well no, but there are we know this there are established spots Or at least there were in days of your in certain Airport yeah, I was that was how that senator member that was a public guy who was clearly choosing knowingly went into it Just participate in that and claim that no, he just had a wide stance. I like that when he pooped It's just like if you're gonna go down and flames. I guess yeah How far hold on so he how far did he realize it? But the toilet was like three toilet rolls and there was more that went down But they'd someone had taken them out and there was a big gap like this wide all the way up to the last toilet roll So it was his hand was about here.
It's close to you. So he's hand almost hit my leg. I was okay. I was like whoa What is oh man a hand and then I saw that I was like you guys be joking me See the only thing that surprises me about that is that there's no way that you can make a bathroom in an airport only for that You can make a bathroom.
Hey everybody goes through here spread the word if you're in the third stallion and the one next to the Tomorrow's is the one in the corner, but somebody's always gonna go in there unaware's because it's just an airport bathroom I'm not surprised that that exists. I'm just surprised that you don't do like three knocks first or something Right somebody to go number three. Yeah, I was surprised because you have to go through cuss the book the check thing to jerk someone off I'm like that's a lot. I assume it's guys.
I was flying somewhere Yeah, but still He doesn't just sneak into airports to go Do you think that perhaps you are gullible and he was just asking for toilet paper and then you think that see what I mean? Do you think that's a neuron miles that's so true? What's what I mean? Because how do you even cuz I would not ever I mean if somebody put their hand under my thing went like this I wouldn't be like oh time to put my you're a girl and girls don't joke each other off installs guys do guys are really into it As a guy that's been in the same It is it is it is I've been to a place they closed it But there's this theater called studs yeah, and it was like it's got like a bunch of gay stuff on different screens But if you if you sit first time I went there with my ex wife and it's super dark and we sat down in the seats And as soon as we sat down somebody kneeled in front of me to blow me and I was like really and then I looked at my ex wife And a guy put his wiener on her shoulder because she was dressed like a man shit like to because we thought it'd be funny Yeah, and we both started laughing at the wiener on her shoulder.
Thank you hard wiener Just like no it was like just flopped on just like pink Yeah, and I was like what if I don't want to and then I've been in there before where I wanted to yeah And when somebody was doing something somebody without asking tried to lick my back so to speak okay, and I was like How do you know first of all no, and then I moved to another part what did you think going into it? Well, I get a few robs gay steam room steam room stuff. There's eye contact Yeah, yeah, and I go yeah, you can yeah, okay if you go if I'm looking over here and you grab it I'm gonna I'm gonna snap on you okay. Well how gay it is yeah, you need to for me to say you can before you do that Right, I'm not a whore yeah, I mean I am but but not a full right people yeah.
Yeah, what if you're hideous? Yeah, you don't want to be taking about what if you're not my type yeah, so yeah cuz I could be into it either Your type is hideous I've been into it like yeah, yeah, yeah like certain reasons okay like what I don't know like if Yeah, it's not we'll do it on patreon okay, okay, okay General I would argue that people might expect different rules of engagement in studs than they would at LAX you know I would have not to say that by going through the door of any place in the world you can send to anything and everything but Like what goes in the steam room might not be what goes at studs might not be what goes at Southwest yeah But I think when you know that bathroom is for that and you're a regular there I think that there is this is one of the things that maybe not gay anymore the amount of forwardness without any consent is a real turnoff For me, uh-huh if you're just like people say nice things to me on instagram I am I really you know respect you for coming out as it's you know You've you've helped so many people and my thank you and then a photo of their butthole yeah, I'm like welcome to being a woman I'm like what this is every day isn't every other DM I get gross to it's never like a nice butthole It's like a whoa why would you even that's the last photo I would show of any part of me if that's what it look like like pimple butts Just harried crooked or like three different color penises. It's all bent and broken. I'm like, oh like shot stuff Just like nah, it's not good.
That's what it's like. I don't know. Can't be you get any butthole photos I'm not gonna auto butthole photos small penis ones right more I would say more penis ones Not like hey, I think you're really funny and you go. Oh, thanks.
I then penis. Yeah, that does happen Or I don't even say or I don't open them they say hey, I think you're really funny And then the next thing without me responding is a blurred image and then I click on the image and of course it's you know No, you weren't being flirtatious. Just no no most of the things that you get are not even open to messages people just keep Here is it yeah, yeah first thing in the door is here's me wiener. Yeah, here's me wiener.
Yeah, I don't get it. I say no thank you I don't even I'm ahead of it. I think you yeah I don't I'm just because I don't respect somebody watch me say stuff to somebody where I was like I can't do that Sorry and someone said don't say sorry. Yeah, like don't like don't be apologize.
I like that you're apologetic I have an only fan. I'm stopping it Yeah, but I had an only fans and I'm like if you want to see stuff go there Uh-huh and they're like well would you suck me off and I'm like no like as I said I only fans if you wanted to go there. I'm sorry. Yeah, and my manager read it once and she's like why are you saying sorry?
I was like, I don't know I just yeah, you can't yeah, you can't say sorry You got it. They like it when you kind of yeah, cuz then it comes then there's another question and then there's the then there's a photo of there Yeah, penis. It's not that's actually why I can never do I can never do only fans Um, it's because I think that guys like certain type of guys Especially the ones that are subscribing to only fans like to be talked down to and I am very like oh no thank you Um, I'm like very shy and polite and I think they don't like that they want you to degrade them Right yeah, cuz I do have a lot of friends that have only fans where they have a thing where they go on is it chat about? Yes, and they just tell people how gross their penis don't miss a beat huh?
It's a thing yeah, but that's they get paid a lot of money to say you know absolutely not yeah If I was a smart business woman, I would do this but I'm not so I don't do this yeah, well, there's a price there's a price I'm I paid it. Yeah, I know longer. I regret it. Do you really I mean hopefully I can turn it into material Yeah, you can and then when I'm far enough out of it So it's not like you know yesterday.
Yeah, someone offered more. You know, I did this one thing Yeah, time ago then it's kind of like alcoholism You know, I mean I can talk about how I've done heroin and stuff because it was so long ago I never do that again But if I did heroin yesterday and I was like this would be so sad. Yeah, not really that I need a little bit more time, but I just based off People's people's jokes and stuff. I lived a life where if I could be funny like a Mark Marin kind of guy about my life I got material.
Yeah, so hopefully that comes into play later when I figure out how to be more funny Yeah, I mean that's that's it. That's the you gotta just have good stories really. Did you get your face tattoo today? No?
No, no, no, this is a couple. This is like a year ago. Okay. You have a great idea a little bit Oh a little bit.
I look at my face. I look at my face. I go. I like about it.
They're cute They're fine. It's just you know, look at myself. I go. I don't really help.
I just realized you know and the guys I like have this this too But I'm like do I need to have this this need to be on it doesn't look bad. It doesn't look bad But there are Michael you don't you're not a tattoo guy. Do you think your butterflies are cute Michael say the truth? Goddamn it.
You put it that way. No, of course Your face is crazy I was looking at the other day and I was like did I really need to I didn't need to do I didn't need to do all I just you look and you got Hey, do I regret it? No, but do I'm you know one day am I gonna want to be like a wholesome looking woman? Probably are you?
You're expecting that maybe I don't mean that to go to a bad way, but why do you think that's a likely outcome for? Everything in my life has been pretty impulsive and you know I go through a lot of phases where I'm like this is gonna be the thing forever And then a couple months later. I'm like wow, I'm so glad that that was just a phase. That's one of the downsides of tattoo I can help I'm I'm way older than you and I'm in the middle of transforming myself into being wholesome Yeah, like the more I'm just recently sober and stuff and I'm like wait, I don't want to do that anymore Why don't I do that?
Why don't I do that? Yeah, and then I'm like man look at you. Yeah, I'm like well Yeah, it's still handy. Yeah, you know like if people are being mean to people I usually like man and I'm pretty good Yeah, yeah, people go.
Okay. Well then yeah head to guys Crazy, you feel like this generation's mr. T. Yeah, yeah, cuz he's he got he was always positive He was just a bad guy in a movie.
Yeah, right But I think the implication was he'd obviously seen some stuff and he could handle himself in a tussle if he had to but he put Whatever life he'd led he put that behind him and now he wanted to be a force for good But yeah, you know a mohawk really meant something in those days and all those chains really meant something I always thought the implication was he'd maybe been like a gangbang or something like that But now he was focused on the Lord. Yeah, yeah, was he? I guess he would have had to have been to he had no past You're telling me that he was a totally wholesome dude from the jump who had a mohawk and a million gold chains and a bunch of big And a feather earring and a bunch of big muscles in the 80s. Yeah in the 80s I'm not saying anything about feather earrings.
I'm saying what the look that he was advertising was of a guy who could potentially be menacing Right, right? Sort of the Superman doesn't have that you know, he's like a very clean-cut guy who's working Wall Street, you know, you go, okay? This is a yeah, there's a reason why he's so convinced and he was able to play a villain because he looked like he could He probably saw him walking down the street and didn't know he wasn't 1982 You might think he was a villain and that was the cool thing about him was actually T love the kids Yeah, I would like to get the scoop on that like was he was he a bad guy ever? Or did he just buy a bunch of gold chains and get a mohawk to be Be a brackus.
I love that I still know that Mm-hmm. Yeah, I ever thought mr. T was a gang banging hustler or tussler as totally said okay Are we laughing because he caught him a tussler? Yeah, that is pretty funny.
I didn't catch that Michael. You called him a tussler I don't think he thought he could tussle. Yeah, okay, that's different. Okay.
Yeah, that is different. Yeah, not a tussler But he can tussle. Yeah, it's less old. Yeah, it's still pretty old Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's your name?
No, I don't think Gabby lay on hey guys. Yeah, it's Gabby lamb everybody. Yeah, we're looking into this. She's real funny.
She's got She might have issues. I don't know. It's got a lot of tattoos. You know what they say about a lot of tattoos But she's pretty funny isn't you know, it's even worse about my tattoos is that I got them in sobriety None of these were ones that I was like drawn like I got sober and I was like you sober Yeah, I'm like four years over nice and I was like you know what time to start loading up I Get that I'm getting I'm getting my face I'm getting snake heads on the side of my jaw next week to finish off this whole thing You're already so committed.
It's like there's no coming back. I would never get laser Yeah, never not one because believe it or not. I don't want to go through the pain Yeah, but also maybe I would do it if you go one time and then you don't have the tattoo anymore But I'm not going for like two years who you have a faded jank on my side of my neck exactly doesn't even ever come off It's on it. That's exactly why yeah, if you could go in come out an hour later and they were gone.
It's fine I would do it. Mm-hmm But I wouldn't do it because I kind of like the permit I like jank it I like janky tattoos. Yeah, I did tell the only time I ever cover stuff is like girls that I no longer am dating because Somebody else will date me How many of the girls you have covered up for you made that mistake four times. Yeah, yeah, because never again say no I will do it again.
I don't care preenup. I don't care. Yeah, have my money if I love you that much have it Yeah, like do I regret that yeah a little bit? You know like am I like the richest bro guy?
I know yeah? Still I I'm committed. Yeah, like I don't like where I love you Let's get married but first sign this thing because we're probably gonna break up. Let's not do it then.
Yeah, I mean Yeah, we go hot your committed kind of you commit to the bit you commit to the bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah And life but a bit you know just one like that and you can cover it up with something cool or Something crappy. I really cares as it's covered. Yeah, you live in you you live in you you live in you keep doing the same thing over and over again Kathy why butterfly why butterfly because they taste with their feet because they're and they're freaking adorable And he took the words on my mouth I don't know because they're cute and they go with everything.
No, no for any of them. You must say because they're easy Yeah, they're just not like easy sexually. I mean, I don't know anything about you know how I just when I heard that they taste it with their feet. I stopped there.
Yeah, I was like, oh Yeah, what about the one I didn't get that from TikTok. So it's true good good Because as I said it I was dreading that you were gonna say something about like well You know because they go into the caterpillar goes into a cocoon and it comes out and I was like oh god This is gonna be embarrassing. That's the last thing I would have ever said in my life In fact that's the I don't plan any of my tattoos. I've never thought about them for more than one second because I'm like I can't how embarrassing It's so much more embarrassing being like The one I did that with I did that with one and it's a huge portrait or free to call out on my back and it's so ugly She's a Mexican painter was my friend.
She hot, you know, it depends on your taste. Do you like you know brows and mustaches? Oh that lady? Yeah, you know exactly yeah, you know Amazing she's like the number one hot lady to only chicks wait.
Do you think she's hot? I think she's beautiful in her way She's interesting. Yeah, she has like a thing to her, you know, what about that model that has real big eyebrows? Like on purpose you see her.
Yeah, what's her name? I always I'm so bad with names. What's her name? I don't know I know okay.
Well done. Okay. Well done. You're Yeah, there's no way you can carry that for the rest of your life.
They're insane It's like, you know when you're so hot. You're like what about if I do do this to my face and it's like well, you're still hot wait Is that not your thinking not? She's conventionally? Yeah, who are you thinking of?
It's like a model. She might not be that successful, but she has eyebrows that are insane like Just beef chunks on her head. She's really pretty. It was bad.
That was bad. You're painting a picture You would stop that she came in here right now. You would laugh Kara know this chick. Yeah, that's not real It is that's not real.
It is come on. She's got an Instagram wish. Okay, that feels better But the other one was like come on that's how you fluff them up. Yeah, so bad you can't know her dad is a Greek dude and her mom is a Greek dude And you know it's growing on me.
It's right. I wouldn't do it I pluck mine so thin I can't never ice the pluck mine Did you I got into it? Okay, too much like I see photos of that arrow and I'm like oh my god One time because I was pro skateboarder one pro skateboard was like hey, man. Do you pluck your eyebrows?
I was like no just like when someone asked me if I slept with a trans girl when I was a pro skateboard I'd be like no, no, but yeah, I did wait. Do you still skate? Oh, yeah? Yeah, I got into it again I took a big break like 20 years almost.
Why did you do that? I moved to LA to be a radio host And I just I'm a ramp skater and there was no ramp. Okay, so I just thought of a relationship with a pro skater. You did?
Yeah, I don't you want to say his name? He's great. He's amazing. Okay.
Yeah, I love him. He's a great guy Yeah, he's fucking he rips. Yeah, he still rips. He still rips.
Yeah, is he older? Is he 30? So he's not old. No, yeah, he's he's ripping.
He's still pro. No, he's not he's not anymore But he's still is like in the world like in that world when you get as good as we do you get to stay Yeah, he's a little respect from the whole community. I'm sure you know his name. He knows your name.
Well, then I probably know his yeah Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah Yeah, I got a pretty good idea Really? Yeah, no No, maybe yeah skate for what we're responsible. I wish I could even tell you I don't remember yeah I don't remember if you had a real duffy spot.
Just I'd be like man easy Truly caring about your partner's career is creepy. Like you care in a general sense like I see my wife I really want to know what's your day? Oh, man, that sucks But like to actually like identify in any small way with their stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah I also don't know the skateboarding world so it's like you would say these things I was like good But it didn't stick because I don't know it right on I did my job like 20 years if you want to say we can bleep it Can you bleep it?
Yeah, you can pop your mouth with your hand and I'll bleep it No, you can't. Oh my god He's really hot he's like the hottest guy in the world. He's so hot. It's so annoying.
I'm like my head is a little hot It's hard to get over people in a hot. He's cussing when they're so hot. He brings it out of you. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah Yeah, I must be really hot. He's really hot. He's a f-word three times. And you've been doing an odd a better job I profiled I thought you were gonna be one of the worst at self-sensoring.
You're really good at it until you brought up Until I'm told the hot pro skater. Yeah, yeah, I get a riled up and I'm like I can't you know I start losing my mind. Right. Patreon shirt is going down a rail.
So I'm gonna start saying the F word again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah It's like one of their favorite things. It's poor as fuck. Right?
They're like when skaters are hot. It's like one of the first things they do. Take their shirts off. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, it's like Yeah, it is punk.
Abs and rails. It's like a double whammy. You were on a jet yesterday. Yesterday and Friday See I always wanted to know because I watched this when I first started comedy I was watching some movie where some Seth Rogen and and Adam Sandler and it's like you know They got nothing and then they get to go on a jet without him saying there and then they go back to doing stuff And then I started doing comedy and a lot of people that I was doing comedy with were like I'm sleeping in my car And then all of a sudden they're like on tour with somebody famous in there, you know on a big stage stadiums and stuff and they go back to Nobody cares.
There's always yeah very intriguing to me because you know I'm a pro skateboarder Like I've done some stuff you never you never jump and then jump back like it's You know if you're lucky you keep going some people plateau, but you never go I and I don't really know what I'm doing Boom, I mean on the Tony Hawk tour and then right back down to you know, I'm at the clubhouse again Not the clubhouse dark where yeah, I know it's a dark that's a dark place. Yeah Yeah, it was I don't know how I'll ever get on a regular flight again after I was like you really just ruined my life with that one That's that's funny because I have been on some jets because I'm friends with Tony Hawk And we've done some tours before where we're on a jet and it was like you can keep your phone on and you can have candy How nice is that right? It's like they were lying on the normal flights because it doesn't make the plane crash That's true, but also why does it work cuz I've tried to use my Wi-Fi on regular flights doesn't work It does if you it doesn't work very good. Yeah, even when you buy like the premium baloney sandwich.
It's still jank not the premium Yeah, I got try it cuz I'm like wait. Can I be on Instagram while I'm up here? Oh, you got in the jet you're on Instagram the whole time Yeah, it's pretty cool easy, but yeah going back. It's kind of like the first time I ever went first class How do you go back it's and then went back to economy?
Yeah? I was like, oh it ruined this flight ruins like I would usually be like yeah here. We go. Yeah instead of my man This seat sucks.
Yeah, this is a pretty bad service. Yeah. I know I got back to my apartment I said peasant yeah, I'm like back in a peasant world So it is kind of a slap in the face But at the same time did it not make you think keep going Gabby you could be in this for life I mean it does but I'm like what's gonna take a long time for me well, probably not darling But I mean, you know, it's gonna I'm not gonna go from having twelve dollars my account to you know 18 million Like this week this week, right? That's how people like yeah, but I was talking to Tom Segura and Christina I did a show with them at the comedy store the other way out of my league and it was thanks to Ryan sickler He got me on there So I was like all these people that are like crazy and my little ass and I'm nervous and I'm backstage and Christine's been very nice to me And she's like you know this like hell yeah nervous and Tom goes I'm nervous too man I'm like really he's like yeah I'm more nervous for these ones than I am when I do like stadium stuff and I was like that's crazy Where was this the comedy store yeah, and I was like wow really he's like yeah, man It's like different.
I don't know how to explain it But I'm definitely more nervous now than I am when I have my own big shows I was like well, that's really interesting and they're like how long you been doing it I think at the time it was like two years or something they're like up, you know in you know 15 years from now Maybe 20, you know, you'll be on top of the world and I was like 20 years Are you sure like maybe you guys are off a little bit like you think like it should be sooner? Yeah, I don't think it's gonna be 20 for me. Yeah 20 is a long that's a long time 20 long time. We did I know I mean to like Seriously, I know some people get there fast.
It does happen. I think Jim Jeffries got there real fast Tim Dylan is he's 13 years in he's the one who was I was on the jet with so yeah He got me a show after that show He saw my set and then he had me do a set with a show with him at the comedy store and then he left and I never spoke to him again Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. Yeah, he's pretty cool. I like that guy.
Yeah, he's really good He's really good. He's really smart being around him. I'm like I can't even I don't know what to say. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm like I'm not yeah Yeah, yeah, I get because I'm older than them and I feel like I'm 12.
Yeah, I'm like thank you. Mr. Dylan. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah It's like nerve-wracking it is nerve-wracking. I also don't know anything about I don't know anything about politics I don't know anything about money. I don't know anything about like finance or real estate And those are like his top subjects. So you can't really talk to him I mean I like to listen to him talk cuz he's amazing.
He's so smart, but I'm like I'm like I know I know I'm dated a post-taker and like those are the things that I know you know you can talk to me Yeah, I'm gonna ask you what was in your conversation at wheelhouse, but I guess you just yeah when I would get drunk and then blackout That's yeah, how I relate to that Yes, he's over. Yeah, he's over. Okay. Amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had that with Howard Stone I was on there like four or five times and then I think on the fourth time We talked afterwards and he was like so you're in a photography And I just said because my one of my wife's at the time gave me a camera And I think I mentioned it in the interview and he goes so you're into photography It's like now she just gave me a camera and he was like oh and I was like I think that was my in to go actually I like blah blah blah blah, but I don't know I don't you're gonna invite you on safari Yeah, you are gonna be out there with those cats Yeah, but I felt the same thing where I was like we don't have anything in common I've heard interviews where he's like Kelly Slater like who's that I'm like did right? You're you on behalf of us. Yeah action sports if you do like like you know, you know who he is I'm not a good surfer, but you better know who that is like that's one of the greatest athletes to ever live care what Baseball jerk me off with your baseball like Kelly Slater can't be the greatest athlete. Oh, somebody please please somebody Like six months ago.
Yeah, but not Gross. Oh my god. Wait. Are you celibate?
No, I'm just not I am. I'm just super not into it. Okay. Yeah, good Like it's before I was into everything.
Okay now. I'm just like not into anything I want to like really like somebody and then you can turn me off. You know, okay. Oh my healthy stuff Why celibacy?
I just need I'm just like I need to take some time to be I get very distracted in relationships I have to focus on my career and I'm like as soon as somebody walks into my world I'm like and I drop everything and now I'm like I just don't have the time I just need to like focus on you got to learn how to be by yourself and be happy before you're ready for a relationship I've never done that before me neither. I've never done that before. I'm doing it. I've only just become I'm like hey, I kind of like today.
Yeah, and I'm by myself. That's nice. You feel the way I still hate it every day I wake up. I go not again, but here we are.
How long are you in though? Say seven months. Okay, let's come in. How long do you take me Brianna?
Wait to what to be okay? I've been miserable in my house for yeah for at least nine months. Yeah, yeah, and then like the last month I feel like I'm just like home by myself and turning the corner I'm like like today. I went to the gym and then I so now I do have little things that I set up in the house Where it doesn't involve anybody usually I would have been like I don't want to I just get high and then I watch Netflix or something I look at Instagram, but now it's like I got a little bar thing I figured out that I like smelly stuff I like like incense and and sage and all this other stuff and I put a little rocks in I got my I learned how to do spells which are spells to cast bad stuff off me.
I don't care if it's real or not I just like it and then I got my little magical rocks that I think are magical put it in my bath with me Yeah, and I got these little bar things Brianna I bought from CVS and they don't they don't explode and evaporate because they're jank But then Brianna for Christmas got me ones that are like expensive ones and you put it in and immediately goes Go everywhere into the bubbles like the one from lush. Yes, that's what you got right? Yep, yeah, they are nice. Yeah, they are so much fun And then I realized I'm spoiling it by putting the thing in before I get in so I make the bath And I put like oils and all these other stuffs in there and then I put the thing in when I'm in so I can watch it all Like create itself create the vibe.
So you're really under yourself care right now. Yeah self I'm gonna get my time wait. Are you really where? Yeah, everywhere I'm like dying really yeah, I love that.
Yeah, what oh really that you're getting Botox Yeah, yeah, I saw you talk about it. I get so much. I want to get so much. I don't want to move my face I don't want to move mine good.
You shouldn't get all of their face overrated ugly. Don't do it for years That's you can stop it stop. You know, I don't even want to be able to open my mouth barely That's pretty hot. I think you do that Somebody's face on your face.
Yeah, I want to preserve. Yeah, yeah like your own ventral is dummy fight Yeah, I'm lifting weights. I'm gonna get jacked and then I'm gonna get Botox I'm gonna be like better looking and single and self-sufficient and then I'm gonna find my true love and then get her name tattooed Oh, yeah, and then you'll break up and you'll have to get it. No, I can't break up anymore.
No, you're done with the breakups Yeah, I gotta do hell. Yeah, you know, I gotta do the right thing. I'm a bad guy. I'm a cheater and stuff.
Oh really? I've always been a cheater to so I'm not gonna do that anymore. Yeah, good for you. I'm either I would this last relationship I was only one I've never cheated on.
Well good. Well good Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that way if they do if we do break up, it's not my fault then I'll be okay with it. Yeah Yeah, well, there are other things you can do that would be your fault. It's not cheating.
No, not if not no way I'm super fun to be with. Oh, yeah, yeah, this guy is yeah, cuz I'm gonna be super if I don't like the Botox guy Yeah, I'm not gonna be my face much. You're not gonna be told if I really love you that much, but yeah That's good. I was like that girls like not being able to know really what's going on.
Yeah I'm gonna be talking a lot communicating a lot for like anything on my mind like the whole resentment Yeah, I'm gonna get it out Yeah, and I'm gonna be like what are you like what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you into like I'm always gonna be touching freely and like being like let's go to things that you want Oh, okay, I'll go I'm not gonna do any of that anymore because I'm not gonna go with anybody that says do you want to go there? And I'm like not really yeah cuz then I want to go out with you if I don't really want to go So the person you're describing before before this person is new and improved version is like probably partner who like didn't listen didn't ask questions And it's probably all around selfish kind of guy cuz it's sounding like you're wanting to not be that So are you were you that a little bit?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but then I had to get sober to be like wait a minute Am I an asshole? Yeah, because I know you're discovering maybe I'm a nice guy. Yeah, I think I've got a lot of potential.
Yeah, good So good yeah, let me try that so feel pretty good about I feel good about the future good for you I feel good about the future for you, too. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, Gabby. Can I ask you about the cheating tendency?
You sure it's like I find it interesting. It's obviously not the only woman who's ever done that or does that? It's done that what if I was kind of hot actually if you're the world's only the world only cheater Yeah, well cuz like I like I've known enough guys. I understand the male intellect and psyche like I understand my guys cheat Doesn't make it right, but I understand it there are women who cheat But I feel like they're a little bit less common What do you think were the reasons that drove you to behave like that?
Oh, it seems like you kind of knew that you should stop doing it, but you still found yourself doing well I mean, I'm an addict through and through so it's like I would get bored I would be like well if there's something better out there What if there's you know, it's just selfish self-ish thinking of being like well What if this isn't what I want and then I would like see somebody that I thought was hot And I'd be in a relationship and I'd be like oh but like I get high off of like, you know the thrill of like oh But what if I you know snuck around and like when this guy off? You know like that was what you're just doing that is really hot it is unless you're in a relationship with me, you know? Yeah, not to the person Everybody else is bumming, but everybody else is bummed and he's bombs Other guys I guess are not but ultimately it doesn't feel so good to be that person So this last relationship I was in I was very attracted to him I was like this is my this is my freaking guy and I was like I just had no drive to eat It was also the first time I dated somebody where I was like I don't feel like cheating So maybe everybody else I dated before that kind of song It's possible see that's a thing yeah, cuz if you don't like yourself I'm speaking about me again Yeah, so I'll take what I can get because I don't think that I can get any better Yeah, and then I realize when we're in the middle of it all and it's been years and I'm like I don't really like this person that much And then I'll meet somebody else that has I have something in common with it. I'm like wait man This would have been better and then I can I don't like go here.
I'm like not even people's DMS like hey What's up? It's more it's more of a I think you're really cute and I'm like wow. Thank you, and then it's like we should hang out I'm I mean like plutonically sure and then it's like you know Let me blow you and I might know but okay, and then I go oh no I did it again. Yeah, and then I hate myself.
Yeah, and then then I gotta run again from hating myself So then I'll use more yeah, it's just a vicious cycle of the tale is all this time I relate all too well. Yeah, so I think this time it hurts so much that I was like I can't live like this Yeah, I'll seriously off myself. Yeah, it is pretty it's horrible. It's horrible.
I'm not gonna do that so I'm gonna be Good. Yeah, if it's not gonna be good. I'm gonna go. Hey, it's not good.
Yeah, I cannot I gotta go That's what I realized if I like next time I get into a relationship I'm just not gonna do what I've decided don't like them anymore on board or whatever I'm not gonna break up. Yeah, I think I've also been too afraid to break up with people so I'll be like I just you know I hate you just jeopardize it so they hate so I ruin so I ruin them right Wow, it's so often such an awful thing to do to somebody it's so painful because I've had a done to me I've been cheated on a lot and it's not it's so bad. Yeah, it's such a bad feeling But then I also have this thing of like our human beings Are we actually even like monogamous at our core like or is that just kind of like a westernized thing? See I I used to think that But I think that there's like to me sex is a is another thing that I can use as an addiction thing That's right.
It's like I need to do everybody just like I need to smoke all the way into all the freedom and all the Whatever other drug you got I need to do yeah or if it I can't like what I do one it makes no sense to me at all Yeah, well sex addiction is more way more prevalent in men and women I think for women it's more like love addiction. Yeah men are more you know, you guys are just like Just as bad like that's like that's dark because you're gonna you have your heart broken all the time Which is why I'm like, okay, let me just take some like a long time to yeah, just be alone I've been just doing the same thing since I was like 13 so I'm like, okay, I've learned I get it I get my pattern. Let's just not do that anymore Can't and once you get sober to you're just like you're smart about it self-aware enough You're like, okay, I see my patterns now. Well, that's the other thing getting sober is like there's there's I don't do drugs Or alcohol anymore and that's it or there's I don't do drugs and alcohol anymore And then I do the work yeah, and that's the difference because I've tried it sober many times in my life But it never did I do the work yeah now yeah, I know I I've said the people I mean school for the rest of my life Yeah, I hated school like with a passion and now I'm in school till the day I die as soon as I stop going to school I'll go down that road again.
Yeah, I have to study every morning. I write stuff down every night after do this Bullsh stuff I don't want to do because I like writing I don't like reading and I do all of it Yeah, but every time I do it it makes my day so much better I don't think I've ever been this happy by myself in my whole life. That's great Yeah, yeah, because you're in the pursuit of honesty and a more and living a life with integrity rather than just you know Just living just living yeah. Yeah, what are you gonna do Michael?
Well, I don't think we have time to do the game now I was gonna bring up a new story, but did we ever see the aliens? Do we ever see any other aliens? Yeah, I've seen him you don't watch TikTok as much as I do but they're out there I think you're watching three nine foot shadow people okay But you haven't seen the jellyfish you haven't seen the jellyfish that only shows up on Heat sensor camera the video camera didn't get it. Are they in water though?
No, no, no, no It just kind of looks like a jellyfish floating what's kind of like a weird like matrix drone But the thing is on the on the the heat sensor It's totally military that picked it up it goes in and out Which is to say its temperature is going hot cold hot cold as it's floating along okay. Okay. Yeah And this is not a blurry video. You know, it's he's not the Miami.
It's he's a great vision. Yeah, but that's a great I'm interested in seeing your your sneaker aliens. I couldn't find any actual images of the shadow You know why though? Why why because the government see this thing it's taking them down because they don't want to know they don't want us to know about you Okay, so this the jellyfish right that's wild.
Wait, that's a video game. That's so funny. I'd be so funny. It was I Don't know this is what I thought you were talking about because this was on the front page of Reddit today That's more believable than all the stuff Jason.
It's just like something on the camera. It's like a little fuzz on the camera I know it's not it looks like bird poop. That's just like stuck on the camera It moved it moved across the camera. So it's not a smudge.
So look I am not that's like one guy I am not a jet pack on to invisible suit. I would have fallen for all kinds already have that The invisibility cloak. Yeah, that's a jet pack guy with an invisible cloak. That's like the government man They just work on new military military snipers.
They might be got a jet pack and you got a visible cloak on it You just like hover over someone boom. Yeah, the best place to play around with that technology probably would be in a military base Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course it would of course it would be yeah, but this is not a campin this is in Iraq Yeah, maybe not be totally ideal place, but where that stuff might be laying around for like a guy You just get super high to be like I'm gonna put on the cloak in the jet pack. Yeah, they could point Yeah, I'm not I just what I assume that you were talking about because I was a bit I do prepare to have your mind blown. It's not that mind blowing I'm gonna prepare just in case okay.
Okay. Okay. I saw was so deeply underwhelming. I said this was how many who cares is not Miami three giant shadow people You want to see in the Yeah, that okay, I didn't see this one where look at those guys where those three guys That's just like regular guys That's you like what is that that's that's Cenk.
I don't believe that that's what I saw that's blood out people I don't care what are all the cops doing that's very suspicious also Why would all the cops be there for fireworks in a street fight because that's hundreds of police didn't all the people there say There was a fight that broke out before the alien showed up Yeah, but why would a hundred cops show up for that because Miami who knows who knows what's going on it? Damn it showed up in the mall. No, this is not good. You got a show in the mall Guys they come out of a of a of another dimension and they stand there for a second and people go whoa They're just like shopping at vans and they like what and then they start walking out of the mall and people are flooding out because Three ten-foot shadow people with cool hats on are walking them out cool hats This kind of reminds me of the guy that asked you for toilet paper Wait, you say that wasn't real cuz that was real what if I mean That's for toilet paper by just sticking their hand underneath if you really get that out you go Hey, bro, can you pass him over here?
Come on and you don't go like that no and he's hey went past the toilet paper Yeah, but it got himself what if he was blind what if he was blind? He walked I want to chase me walked out of the toilet by himself with no stick So we had eyes. Yeah, blind people can be gay. Sure.
I don't believe it Hey, do you know I don't they can't they're blind yeah, you can use rail on Instagram can you? I'm absolutely can't know see you go the ball. No, I've got a blind friend. He's a great So yeah, you can't he's not gay One time I gave him a mode no I send him a photo and he was like I'm blind you dumbass And I was like, oh, sorry, and he's like how I'm joking my wife.
Sorry and told me what it is. Okay Yeah, he made me feel bad for a photo that I sent so we have no three feet portal people coming out of ten feet the I'm sorry three ten feet people coming out of the food court. No three feet. You guys see they've already taken it down I watch it on Instagram several times the tree and everybody that says on Instagram get this video out there because I probably could come just gonna take it down and then look what happens It's not there what if it's all the distraction from Epstein's list ever think of that I'm still like Bill Clinton was on there Donald Trump's hanging out Chris stuck is not looking too good.
I don't even get how that's news even if Bill Clinton and Donald Trump like denied that they had sex with People at that island. We all knew that that was a lie the question is who engaged in illegal behavior David Copperfield Maybe sure Copperfield. He's the creepiest lamest guy ever. Yeah, she sucks balls so hard.
Yeah spaceship comes out of a crane You can see the crane. Yeah, I mean Copperfield cop to feel nice. There it is. Is it?
That was deceased president George H. W. Bush's favorite joke to let you know how laying your dad Yes, he took a photo with a woman and he was in a wheelchair and he was alleged to have said something like And you can do he grabbed her butt and said they call me David Copperfield So much I hate it so much the leader of the free world and the head of the CIA True Yeah Before we wrap here in the video The truth is out there the truth is out there and we'll have 20 minutes to regroup And then we will have it so by the time you have you're watching this come find us at patreon.com slash Ella's mate We will no doubt be dissecting that alien video. Thank you.
I'm on the episode We're doing their Subscribing in the here and now to see the total obnoxious southern douche at the New Year's party who got stuck in a vase No, yes, I did. No, I did not I would have not cracked it. No, I would have not said he should be living in there forever I would have been in there and some water and said you are now a pup plant. Yes die Wait, I want to see you.
What do you mean? That sucks because the only version I could find the New video is fine. It's just for some reason it got posted out of order Uh-huh, so it's this guy and it's a bunch of seems like rich seems like douche definitely southern seems like youngish kind of people Yeah, that are and he's like I'm gonna put myself in the vase. They're like no Connor.
Don't do it He's like I'm gonna do it cuz rubber and then he goes in there and he can't get out which is awesome Which is why he starts crying and he's angry at everybody's is like you could see this guy has like a raging brat bitch Yes, waiting behind his eyes at all seconds if you take away ice cream cone I've never said he would have been hysterical. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, but he touches the car is dad bottom He's got a thing ready to go so well if I was dating that guy and he did that I'd have the biggest And you'd have to break up with him immediately you'd have to break up with him if you were dating that guy I would not like you miles through the YouTube link above that How would you know until he got into the base not he's got the guy he's got the Sucks he's the problem with everybody you can't be like everybody the world you can't be facist You know cuz like sometimes people like aren't but yeah, but every now and then sucky faces are nice He's got like he's got like mean person sucky.
Yeah, he's a piglet head yeah, and he's got a comb over and he's not bold Who has a very unlike little faces don't junior yeah, all of them do they've all got it. We'll get sucky Did you click on YouTube link? It's all of animals dude exactly where you got it from obnoxious new you can't find the shadow people I'm not just New Year's dude gets stuck in vase good That's called up to where it says obnoxious new here's dude gets and then you see where it says YouTube click on it Oh, that one is the YouTube video Oh, look at that. I live like this.
Okay, so that's he's already in there, but this is the best part. I guess There is audio oh Damn oh That's so good It was up right before he was like really yeah, so like I said this video for some reason got edited to where it's stuck and then getting stuck He got a conner like he's getting burped this frat biglet. Oh my god How do not be able to get out of that? She's like it's me's yeah, his knees are folded up now look at this guy.
This is him. Look at that haircut. Are you seriously? You suck I would just keep pushing him over Yeah Shower The Greek gods used to like shoot lightning bolts I want God to like shoot a drop kick from space The neighborhood line up spittany's face.
I'm face. So your balls I can his eyes He's a scumbag. I'm stuck a bag. That's exactly the kind of guy though You want to see getting stuck in a face.
I'm gonna do it. Let it be him Couldn't happen to a nicer guy than Connor so they ultimately needed to get like a sledgehammer and crack it open to get him out They really get really pathetic way like tapity tap taps. They didn't want to hurt him It's like did if you're in a straight against that good of ours. We're just gonna smash it You're gonna smash it.
I mean like if you don't smash yourself out there. You're not my friend anymore Yeah, but you wouldn't be my friend anyway, but it would have been my friend. No way. Yeah, I don't associate with people Dored thanks for being on the show.
Thanks for having me. Yeah, what's your show called again? People want to check it out? You can find me on Instagram at GABBY LAMBY GABBY LAMMY I have a podcast called tea time with Gabby Lam and Harper Rose Drummond there you go everybody check her out And if you want to stay for Patreon, you should all right don't die