You Yelled. Now What? Repairing After You Lose It (in 90 seconds)

Episode 4: You Yelled. Now What? Repairing After You Lose It (in 90 seconds) Episode Description You snapped. You raised your voice. And now you're stuck in the shame spiral wondering if you just messed everything up. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude walks you through what actually matters after you yell: repair. You'll learn what's happening in your brain when you "flip your lid," why repair is more powerful than perfection, and a 90-second reset you can use the same day. You'll leave with simple scripts and Tiny Wins to rebuild connection without a big lecture for you or your child. New here? Start with… If you're stuck in "I'm the worst parent" shame, start with Repair over Perfection If you want practical words to say tonight, start with The 3-Sentence Repair If you keep yelling at the end of the day, start with The Pause and Park It Plan In this episode, you'll learn Why "losing it" is often a nervous system overload moment, not a character flaw The simplest brain-based explanation for why yelling happens and why it's hard to stop mid-stream The rupture to repair idea that protects trust and emotional safety over time What a repair actually looks like in real life without over-explaining or groveling A repeatable 90-second repair script that builds safety and models accountability How repair helps your child build a healthier story: We can have hard moments and still be okay Tiny Wins (pick 1–2) Try the 3-sentence repair once this week, even if it feels awkward Choose a one-word cue for yourself when you feel the surge: Pause, Yellow light, or Not yet Use Park It language once: I'm too heated to talk kindly. I'm going to cool down and we'll come back. Add one next time sentence after repair: Next time I'm going to step into the other room before I respond. Scripts you can borrow (quick wins) The basic repair (90 seconds): Hey, about earlier when I yelled… I was really overwhelmed and I raised my voice. That wasn't okay. I'm sorry. I love you and we're okay. The check-in: Did that scare you or hurt your feelings? You can tell me the truth. I want to know. The next-time plan: Next time I'm starting to feel that mad, I'm going to take a break instead of shouting. One line for you: I messed up, and I'm also a good parent who's learning. Episode quotes Kids don't need perfection. They need a parent who comes back. Repair is a deposit in the relationship bank account. Flip your lid less when you can, and repair faster when you can't. Free resource Join the Tiny Wins email list and download the free Big Feelings Decoder here: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder Big Feelings Decoder helps you translate intense kid behavior like backtalk, shutdowns, whining, or meltdowns into what might be happening underneath, plus calm, nervous-system-friendly scripts you can use in the moment and after repair. Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health, medical, or educational advice. Links Big Feelings Decoder: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder Instagram: @psyched2parent