Young Adulting in a Family

Topic: How does a family adjust to someone becoming an adult? Developmental realities, independence and angst The reality of Young Adulthood – How do I access independence? A Story: getting your first cold and/or changing your major in college   Tip 1 – Celebrate small things of young adulthood baby steps reminds us we are capable telling each other you are capable = part of family life   Tip 2 – be mindful of the stages of parenting parenting changes over time and with developmental levels of kids   article from Berkley calls the last state a "guide" https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_ways_to_change_your_parenting_in_the_teenage_years making decisions for small children, to making decisions but offering choices, to making decisions with your child, supporting decisions alongside your child   Tip 3 – be interested in one another as people find some new rituals and traditions as well as new ways to connect spiritually 4 areas to grow as family members grow – emotions, routines, freedom, and conversations (licensed family therapist online) Article: https://imperfectfamilies.com/grow-up-with-your-kids/ Gottman "Creating Shared Meaning" and "Rituals of Connection" https://www.gottman.com/blog/create-shared-meaning-rituals-for-the-family/   Dave's bonus tip for parents of YAs – "take opportunities to be chill" Heidi's bonus tip – "believing in eternity means I don't have to be worked up about this moment"   Tip 4 –  transition takes effort and energy and is worth effort and energy relationship is made of vulnerability and boundaries Family members of YAs – consider what you want and what's realistic respect their voice and freedom check ins with low expectations YAs seek help, communicate needs set boundaries, lead the way in defining your boundaries love your family as people not what they do for you     Short answer: relationships need to transition as life transitions