Your Life Is a Contract (And I'm Done Signing Terms I Never Agreed To)

Girl, I stand behind it: your life is a contract. And we all need to start writing better terms. It's the beginning of the year and I've already lost friends, acquaintances, just people in general. Not because I suddenly became cold and difficult. It's because I'm tightening up my boundaries. Last year I said I was going to be ruthless with my boundaries, ruthless about protecting my energy. Well, I am living it. Because I realized I was leaking so much of my attention, my power, everything about me was leaking. I wasn't being focused. I wasn't governing myself and leading myself the way I know I need to. I was being pulled in so many different directions and compromising. And I went through this process, there are levels to this, by the way. I went through the levels. But now I'm at level one. This is the hardest group of people to set and enforce boundaries with: family and close friends. I've been cleaning the house from level 5 all the way up. And this is the year to clean my level one. Too many people I'm allowing to impact my sense of self, my identity, my sense of peace. Since the start of this year, I've been very firm. And it has cost me relationships. Yes, it has. And it has been uncomfortable. Confrontation is not my first move. But I have to be this way. I've been telling myself: Don't absorb it. That's been my mantra. Because I'm the type of person who absorbs things instead of being confrontational and having the hard conversations, especially with my level one people. But this is the year where it has to stop. Because I have to preserve myself. I need to lower my stress. I need to reduce my inflammation. I cannot keep carrying other people's roles and responsibilities and their emotional weight. We take on invisible contracts all the time with friends, with family, with colleagues. Contracts that say we'll manage their emotions, meet their expectations, honor their needs before our own. And without realizing it, we're signing these contracts every single day. I'm relinquishing those invisible contracts. I'm not signing anything anymore unless I understand the full terms, rules, responsibilities, risks, and opportunities. There's no version of me that survives that level of emotional weight and labor. It's unnatural and it wears you down. And here's another thing I've realized: in my 40s, I have so many unresolved things surfacing, old wounds, old patterns, drama and trauma. Doing the work and working through my own stuff requires me to center myself. So I don't have the capacity to hold anyone else's unresolved issues. I just don't have the space for it. Not because I don't care, but a season has ended. A period of my life has officially ended. I'm entering a new season that requires ruthless self-leadership and self-governance. And that means having strict boundaries with my level ones. I'm getting the pushback already. But I know that life truly is a contract. And we are signing these terms every day. I'm just rewriting a lot of the terms that I unknowingly accepted and took on.This one's for you if:1. You're finally ready to stop absorbing other people's emotional weight2. You've been leaking energy to everyone except yourself3. You're in your 40s and your unresolved stuff is surfacing4. You're done signing invisible contracts with people who drain youThis is how you rewrite the terms.This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually are visit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room.You'll get weekly insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission.About Women Who Don't Apologise:Over 150 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms.