Your Nervous System Is Destroying Your Relationship — and You Don't Even Know It with EJ & Tarah Kerwin

Have you ever been mid-conversation with your partner, felt your jaw tighten, your stomach drop, your brain go sideways — and some part of you already looking for the exit? That's not a character flaw. That's your nervous system treating your partner like a threat.EJ and Tarah Kerwin are couples therapists, founders of Relationship Renovation, and parents of twins born on their honeymoon. EJ — a yoga teacher and therapist — turned avoidant the moment real chaos arrived, and Tarah had a name for it: Buddhist motherf***er. They had to learn everything they now teach by surviving their own marriage in real time.This conversation goes deep on why your success traits destroy your closest relationships, how your childhood nervous system patterns are running your marriage without your consent, and what emotional safety actually feels like when a man finally builds it.IN THIS EPISODE:Why the traits that made you successful at work become your biggest relationship wreckersWhat a genogram reveals about your patterns — and why compassion always followsFINE = Feelings Inside Not Expressed — and what that silence costs youThe difference between hypo arousal and being regulated — most men confuse the twoTriple H — Heard, Hugged, or Helped? Ask before you fixYour partner is your greatest teacher — if you stop running from the lessonRELATED EPISODES:Ep. 105 — Learning to Respond Without Reactivity with Dr. Charles FrelighEp. 120 — Creating Emotional Stability with Jay FieldsEp. 124 — No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert GloverFOLLOW EJ & TARAH:Website, Podcast& Couples Coaching: relationshiprenovation.comBook: Relationship Innovation at Homework — AmazonGET MORE FROM MTM:Text MTM to 33777 — free weekly newsletterSubscribe & All Episodes: mentalkingmindfulness.comA2A COURSE:12 modules on attention, presence & performance. Self-paced. Built for people who hate the word mindfulness.focusnowtraining.com/a2a→ This conversation maps directly to Module 4 of A2A: Regulating Your Nervous System Under PressureBRING FNT TO YOUR TEAM:Custom attention, resilience & leadership training. In-person or online.focusnowtraining.com/contactHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information. Check out our Awareness-to-action Self Mastery COURSE & COMMUNITY:12 modules on attention, presence & performance. Work at your own pace plus a community built for Inspiration and connection.1.  www.focusnowtraining.com/a2a-CourseJOIN US IN PERSON — Future Events and Retreats.1.  Live in-person event: Warrior Defined. We will be in Charlotte, NC, September 25, 2026 more info HERE: Or mentalkingmindfulness.comGET MORE FROM MTM:Text MTM to 33777 — free weekly newsletter1.  Subscribe: mentalkingmindfulness.com2.  FNT: focusnowtraining.comBRING FNT TO YOUR TEAM:1.  focusnowtraining.com/contactProduced by Robert Lopez | https://www.cratesaudio.com/