Your Partner Isn't Gaslighting You. Or Are They?

Have you ever walked away from a disagreement with your partner absolutely certain of what was said…only to have them remember it completely differently? What if that isn't manipulation at all, but simply the way human memory actually works?Kate Mason welcomes back Associate Professor Celine Vangolde from the University of Sydney, whose research explores memory, trauma, child testimony, and psychological abuse. Celine's work sits at the intersection of science and real-life relationships, examining how memories are formed, stored, retrieved, and yes, sometimes misremembered entirely…and what that means for the families and couples navigating those moments every day.This conversation takes a deep, accessible dive into the term "gaslighting", where it came from, how it has evolved, and critically, when a normal memory disagreement ends and genuine psychological abuse begins. Understanding personality types, memory distrust, and the role of intention gives parents and partners the insight they need to protect themselves and their families. Listen for:03:03 How does memory actually work and why don't two people ever remember the same event?06:52 Where did the term gaslighting originate and how did it evolve over time?13:43 What does Celine's research reveal about how couples misidentify memory conflicts as gaslighting?17:11 How should someone decide if they are truly being gaslit or simply in a normal disagreement?20:21 When does a caring, protective relationship cross the line into coercive control and abuse?Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click Guest Celine Vangolde, Associate Professor University of Sydney School of Psychology, Faculty of Science, specializing in forensic psychology and memory researchOnline Bio | LinkedInContact Kate:Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X