Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage? episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 24, 2025 · 35 MIN

Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?

from Imperfect Mens Club · host Mark Aylward & Jim Gurule

Mark introduces the topic of one's self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it's important to know what you can and can't control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self's in the center. Jim says he's been more aware of the self narratives of other people he's encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he's being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we've made victimhood acceptable. Even fashionable. Marl explains where his values come from and that blame was never his thing. Jim agrees about victimhood. It's giving your power to others. Both guys feel like being a white man is now worthy of judgement and negative. Jim thinks both sides are doing it. Mark disagrees. Jim brings up privilege in the context of other current issues Mark likes the notion of treating people as humans and not by the "groups" they can be put in. Mark reads the definition of "privilege" White, male and class. Mark shares the injustice he experienced in the domestic justice system. Mark shares that everyone has privileges and hardships and to focus on the equity or inequity is silly. Jim throws out that we all have looks, weight, height…they could be either advantages ir disadvantages. Mark thinks advantage should be appreciated. The guys get into sports analogies, black swimmers and hockey players Next is toxic masculinity and male privilege. The definition is really more of an opinion. AI has male bias!  They breakdown and disagree with the definition. Mark shares the opinion that what is important is what you do with your gifts, not what gifts you were granted. Jim brings up confidence. Some people are intimidated by the confidence of others. Both guys feel like a lot of success and failures are just choices Mark shares some of his choices. Self awareness helps people make better choices. Both guys know rich kids that got crushed by their "privilege. Drugs and alcohol". Highly competitive and shame as a weapon Mark talks about the reality that we all have two lists. Gratitude and complaints. Jim brings up DEI in relation to his recent encounter with the person who disappointed him Mark doesn't believe that "equitable" is not a reasonable goal. Mark thinks the only way to change people is with actions not words.  He quotes John Wooden and success and peace of mind. "Are you bringing your best". How are we doing?  Am I giving my best?  Are we winning the argument or striving to be the best you can be?  Mark calls it childish. Mark thinks affirmative action has done the opposite of its intended purpose. Mark shares the story of his brother and his female copilot…it's bullshit Jim says some people are elevated because of optics and not merit. Mark shares about what he wants to accomplish. Mark quotes MLK. Have we gone full circle. Mark says racism and discrimination will never go away, but we should strive to say and do things the same way. Life can happen to you or for you. You can get bitter or better

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Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?

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