Your teen self is still in the room

What if the person reacting to your child isn’t the adult you think you are... but the teenager you once were?Today’s audio looks at a part of parenting we rarely talk about. Your teen self - the version of you who once slammed doors, felt misunderstood, fought for space, or promised never to become like your parents. That part of you is still in the room. And more often than we realise, it is the one responding to our children.I share the story of a father who found himself panicking every time his daughter stormed off. He would follow her, get louder, push harder, until they were both caught in a familiar spiral. It was only when he looked back that he realised he was not reacting to her at all. He was reacting to the 14-year-old version of himself whose own father never allowed him space to feel anything.We all do this. We think we are responding to our children in the present, but often we are responding to something from our past. And while we know a child’s big feelings are healthy, our teen self might still see them as dangerous or disrespectful or a sign that we are failing.This episode explores how to notice that teenage voice inside you, how to let it speak without letting it steer, and how to step back into the grounded adult your child actually needs. You do not have to be perfect. You just have to be present. And you cannot be present if your inner teen is running the show.Have a listen, and pull up a chair for the younger you.Thank you for pausing with me.Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe