You're Not Leading, You're People-Pleasing: What Every New Manager Gets Wrong

You got promoted. You promised yourself you'd be different — the approachable boss, the one people actually want to work for. But six months in, your team likes you and doesn't respect you. You can feel it. You just don't want to say it out loud yet. This episode breaks down the people-pleasing trap that quietly destroys new managers. Jason Rigby explains why what feels like empathy is actually conflict avoidance — and why your "niceness" is costing you your best people. You'll learn: • The difference between being kind and avoiding conflict as a first-time manager • Why your highest performers lose motivation when you won't hold standards • The one question that shifts people-pleasing leadership into real clarity • Exactly what to say when someone misses a deadline, turns in weak work, or challenges you publicly • Why the discomfort you feel after setting a boundary is growth — not a mistake If you're a new manager, a millennial manager, or any leader who secretly knows their standards are fuzzy — this one's for you. Go deeper: jasonrigby.substack.com — free essays on the inner game of leadership, self-awareness, and the struggles no one talks about in management. The Self Aware Leader is hosted by Jason Rigby — Marine, Trader, Philosopher. New episodes weekly on leadership, conflict avoidance, setting boundaries, self-awareness, and the inner work that makes everything else work. Subscribe free at jasonrigby.substack.com