You've Got Five Pages, North of Nowhere by Allison Brennan, to Tell Me You're Good.

The first chapter can make or break a reader’s engagement with a story. We as writers must craft brilliant opening pages in order to hook those picky readers, so let’s study the stories of others to see how they do it! One thing that drew me to Allison Brennan's North of Nowhere was the promise of siblings depending on each other for survival while on the run from their murderous father through a wintry wilderness. After plenty of stories where romance is the primary focus of the characters' relationship, I was ready for some family bonding. The first chapter doesn't really give a chance for that to develop just yet, though. Instead, we get protector Tony endlessly thinking about how time is of the essence in getting these kids out of their small Montana town because the father's goons have been spotted. I don't mind starting the novel with the goons showing up--after all, that's where the narrative arc begins, not with one of the kids' sports games or something. However, because Tony is thinking and thinking and thinking and THINKING about the plans--what he wants to do, what they'll have to do, why they have to do any of it--I lose all sense of time and urgency. There are a couple of blips in that first chapter where Tony and the kids are actively doing something, but they are lost in the endless scope of Tony's thoughts. On a side note, the prose itself is clear and straightforward, almost to the point of being cheesy. For instance: "It would be faster, safer, safer to hide until they could disappear again. He’d do anything to protect Chris and Ryan? Anything. Even kill again." How can one read that and NOT say, "Dunh dunh DUNH!"? As the pages progressed, I began to feel like we were embarking on a bit of action schlock like Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando. And for folks like me, who do enjoy a bit of schlock, that sounds just fine. :) But after reading this chapter, I have a hard time agreeing with the cover blurb that this is "a gripping, eerie thriller." So if you are looking for that sort of thriller, I'm not sure North of Nowhere will suit your palette. And what will you find in those first five pages? Let’s find out! Cheers!